Condemned to Us (Not Such A Bad Thing)
by cruiz107
Summary: "Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me.'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free." Bella's selfish decision will tie Edward to her for at least eighteen years, but some people refuse to be bound.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I new one. A longer note at the bottom. Characters belong to SM.**

I had a love-hate relationship with Valentine's Day. Bearing witness to couples in love didn't send me into a sour, man-hating rant. I fully supported love. I mean, I was head over heels in love myself. Except…he didn't know I existed as anything beyond his brother's best friend. _That_ is why this holiday could go scratch.

Emmett, on the other hand, was not a fan of "Stupid Cupid" day. So much so that he threw an anti-Valentine's party, each one more ridiculous than the last. He was my best friend – one of the best people I knew - in this shitty world, which is why I willingly helped organize the party every year for the past five years. This year was no different.

Since the tender age of seven, when I first moved here to live with my dad, Emmett and I were thick as thieves. He didn't push me into the mud, pull my lopsided pigtails, or wipe his boogers on me. On occasion, secretly of course, he indulged me by being the Ken to my Barbie. We don't speak of those times anymore. He was always boisterous and full of life. I was immediately endeared to him because of his cute curls and a set of dimples that no one could resist. Even my simple seven year old self.

At the age of twelve, he was my first kiss. It wasn't exactly the most romantic, but as romantic as anything could be at twelve. Really, it should have never happened at all, but we were little shits that could never mind our own business and his older brother's room was the coolest place in the world. We each had vastly different reasons.

One day while Edward was out doing whatever nineteen year olds do, we snuck into his room. I was scaling the walls in excitement just to be breathing the same air as the best looking guy in the world. Emmett, being the nosy little brother, stumbled upon Edward's porn collection. He grabbed the movie he deemed the most interesting and we made a mad dash back to his room. Popping it in and making sure it was on mute, we watched as a big-boobed, red head lay on the kitchen counter with her legs spread open in the air.

For the whole ten minutes we watched that movie so many emotions crossed my mind. Firstly, I was in awe of this woman and how she was able to get her knee to touch her forehead while flat on her back. However, that wonderment turned into a slew of insecurities and what-ifs. Was that what Edward liked? Did he like girls with red hair and breasts that looked like small basketballs? Would he be interested in me if I learned to kiss like the lady - and I used the term loosely - in the movie? Though, in my opinion, it was really sloppy with way too much spit. When I realized the hairy guy was going to drive his car into her back garage I turned the TV off.

All afternoon I couldn't get that video out of my head. Well, not the actual video, but what it told me about Edward and what I needed to do to get him to like me. Even Emmett called me out on my behavior.

"Be my first kiss," I begged Emmett. Who better to practice kissing with? We didn't like each other like that, and maybe he and his brother liked the same thing and I could get some insight.

Emmett looked at me like I had grown a second head, but because he was a boy emerging on puberty it didn't take much to convince him. However, I did have to agree to let him squeeze my boob. I didn't have much there anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. It was okay as far as first kisses go. It started as just our lips attached, but that wasn't what the people in the video were doing. Feeling brave I stuck my tongue out. Emmett froze for a second, but finally my followed suit. Neither of us knew what the hell we were doing, but it was a good starting point. It was something else we never spoke of.

Needless to say, Edward wasn't putty in my hands after that first kiss with Emmett.

It wasn't until I was seventeen did I finally let Emmett in on my secret that I was crushing on Edward. Hard. For the past ten years. He teased me relentlessly, asking what I could see in his dorky, nerdy brother. I rolled my eyes and punched him as hard as I could.

I guess by high school standards, he _was_ pretty nerdy. For the first few years I knew him, he wore braces that eventually gave him a brilliant smile, but I was probably biased. His early puberty years weren't kind to him, either. For months, his voice was squeaky and he hadn't mastered volume control. It was as if his skin went from pimply to dry to oily until around nineteen or twenty when it finally evened out.

His hair was in a league of its own. It was wild, but stylish at the same time – when his cowlick wasn't so prominent. However, if you asked Edward, he'd describe it as unmanageable. He had reddish hair that often garnered him the nickname 'Ginger' which he hated. It wasn't a fiery red that I attributed to that nickname. The only way I could describe it was, maybe, a muted bronze. In the sunny summer months, I could even see dull blond streaks throughout some strands.

He had worn glasses since I'd met him, but no one made black plastic specs look so good. I frowned the few times during his college years that he tried using contacts. They weren't him and he didn't need to impress anyone.

His head was always in a book, but what's so bad about that? He didn't date much in high school, as far as I noticed – and I noticed everything about him – but in no way did that bother me.

He was a Star Wars obsessed, WoW playing, encyclopedia quoting, Dungeons and Dragons loving, homework-is-my-favorite-pastime geek and I loved him.

Now, at twenty-two, I was still trying to get Edward to notice me. It was even harder now that he was a doctor and I was a cashier at the super market.

"Bella," Emmett shouted even though I was barely ten feet away from him. "Where are the black balloons and paper daggers?"

"Uh." I looked around the disheveled living room of the Cullen household. Their house was massive, which made an awesome space for hosting parties. Valentine's Day wasn't until tomorrow, but since Emmett had class and I had work we had to decorate a day in advance. "They might be in the kitchen. Lemme go see."

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward's ass stick out from the fridge as he searched the inside.

_Be cool. Be cool._

"Hey, Edward," I greeted him as casually as I could. Inside, my heart was frantic and butterflies were break dancing in my gut.

He looked up, holding a block of cheese in his hand. "Hey, Bella. What's going on?" I watched with an unwarranted, intensified interest as he grabbed a cutting board and knife. I watched as he easily sliced through the multi-colored Colby cheese, only to look up when his hand suddenly stopped. I looked up to find him staring at me expectantly.

"Oh, um, I'm good. Helping Emmett decorate for tomorrow. The party. That I'm helping him with. That's tomorrow." I cursed at myself for my pathetic ramblings. I had a decent vocabulary but was reduced to an incompetent nothing in this man's presence.

He looked at me oddly, pushed his glasses up his nose, and continued cubing the cheese.

_God, I'm a spaz._

"You going?" I asked, trying desperately to save face.

"I'll probably stop by for a minute. I'm on call tomorrow night so we'll see."

"Cool. I'll be there…or here since this is where the party is." _Fuck, I'm an idiot._ "Well, I gotta go finish helping Emmett. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." I waved awkwardly, at the same time taking backwards steps.

I heard him chuckle as I hightailed it out of the kitchen.

"Were the balloons there?" Emmett asked.

"Umm…maybe?"

He gave me a knowing look. "Was Edward in the kitchen?" He stared at me while trying his hardest not to laugh. I narrowed my eyes at him, daring to make fun of me.

"Get your own damn balloons, asshole," I shouted when he burst out laughing.

The party was in full swing with people enjoying themselves at every corner by the time I arrived. The music was loud and the conversations were louder. The liquor was flowing and singles, as well as couples, were having a good time mutilating the various cupids hung throughout.

I spotted Emmett sitting on the couch next to his sister Alice. I hadn't expected her to be here tonight. I rolled my eyes, but made my way over to them anyway. I didn't know what her problem with me was, but there was definitely an issue. It hadn't always been hostile. She was two years older than Emmett and me so there really weren't many opportunities to hang out and get to know each other much. We ran in different circles. I would say hi and we could make small talk, but when I reached my sophomore year that all changed. What I did to piss her off, I had no idea.

"Hey, guys." I plopped down on Emmett's lap and grabbed the beer out of his hand, downing the rest. I heard a disgusted grunt to the side of me before Alice stalked off. I watched her, highly amused.

"What's her problem with me again?"

"Hell if I know." He shrugged. "The turnout was great, huh?"

"Yeah. Do you even know all these people?" He probably did. Emmett had managed to make a lot of friends in the small trade school he attended. I, on the other hand, only knew about ten people here. I hadn't made much of myself after high school.

"Most of them, yeah. A lot of them came because of word of mouth. It's all good. I'm gonna go try to find the future ex-Mrs. Cullen. You gonna hang out?"

"For a little bit; I have a double tomorrow." I shot my hand out to stop Emmett before he got too far. "Is Edward here?"

He rolled his eyes, but smiled playfully. "Last time I saw him he was in kitchen getting a drink."

The kitchen was empty save for two people who I didn't recognize. I searched, not too subtly, for Edward. He was nowhere to be found. I began to surmise that he had been called to the hospital.

I tried enjoying the party, but it held no interest to me if he wasn't around. I spotted Em talking to a few guys.

"I'm crashing in your room," I told him forlornly. Love or no love, I didn't want to be around happy people.

He held up his fingers to the guys and walked me to the bottom of the stairs. "He's not here?" I shook my head sadly. "You could make life so much easier on yourself if you just told him how you felt."

I shrugged. "Maybe, but we're worlds apart. I'll see you later." I kissed his forehead and walked up the stairs. I texted my dad, Charlie, letting him know where I'd be, and shed my work shirt as soon as I walked into Emmett's room. There was a pair of sweats and tee that hadn't fit him since fifteen that he kept just for me when I slept over.

Naked, I stepped into the connecting bathroom that he shared with Edward. I wrapped a towel around my body and turned the shower on. Waiting for the hot water, I brushed my teeth and let my hair down, scratching at my scalp. My hair was wild, but damn if it didn't look good.

"Em, can I…" Edward walked through the adjoining door, freezing when he saw it was me. I took quick inventory of my husband-that-didn't-know-he-was-my-husband. He was clad in my favorite outfit for him – boxer briefs. His hair was messier than usual, his eyes were glossy, and his breath wafted with the smell of undistinguishable alcohol. He was drunk, or very tipsy.

"Sorry, I thought you were Emmett."

"No." I shook my head, stopping to lick my lips when his hand lazily roamed over his smooth chest.

_Holy hell, he man-scaped! That was new._

He stepped closer, bringing his hand to brush through my hair. "I like your hair like this."

"You're drunk," I whispered, though I wasn't protesting the contact.

"Perhaps." He leaned in closer. "Does that bother you?" he breathed in my ear.

Did it? It probably should. I should be offended that the only reason he was coming on to me like this was because he wasn't in his right mind. I had to look at it from another angle, though. He would never come on to me, ever, if he was sober. I was out of his league and didn't have a shot with him. This could be my only chance. So while I should have been smarter about the situation, thought more highly of myself, I just couldn't let this opportunity go. It wasn't a pity party for one I was throwing myself. I _knew_ Edward. As creepy as it was, I watched Edward and paid attention. I absorbed everything we spoke about when we had a few decent conversations. I wasn't his type. Edward was heavy into women with smarts – more so than anything else. That definitely wasn't me.

I was more than aware that there was a very good chance he wouldn't remember this in the morning.

"No." I stopped him from pulling his hand away."I like the way that feels."

He stepped impossibly closer, guiding his hand to my naked thigh. "I like the way _you_ feel."

This Edward was completely foreign to me. He was confident and bold. Sure of his touch as he used a lone finger to trace from my thigh to knee and back up again.

"Can I kiss you?" I murmured, drunk in my own right from his caresses. It also helped that he wouldn't remember this in the hours to come.

Instead of responding, he molded his lips to mine, eliciting embarrassing porn like moans from somewhere deep inside. In my defense, I had waited fifteen years for this moment.

"I want to touch you," I told him while I lowered his underwear. I had to act fast. Sobriety had a nasty habit of crashing down at the most inopportune times. Before he probably realized what I had just said, I had my hand wrapped around his cock, savoring the smooth skin. I looked down as I began stroking the most prized possession that didn't belong to me. Nothing in the world could be described as perfect…expect for this. It was a flawless beige color with a pinkish cut tip. Just the slightest hint of blue vein could be seen running along the length.

"Bella," he panted against my neck. "Faster," he demanded harshly.

I pumped faster, gripped tighter. I felt his cock jump and took it as a sign that he was almost there.

"I want to feel you inside me, Edward." I unwrapped the towel, exposing myself to him. I spread my legs wider hoping to entice him.

"It's glistening," he rasped. Two fingers ran across my soaked entrance. I bucked my hips as the same two fingers entered me and pumped agonizingly slow.

"Edward, please," I begged when it seemed like he would do nothing else with anything but his fingers.

He smirked quickly before dipping his head and licking my nipple. He bit lightly, making me shudder in absolute bliss.

He pulled back but continued to tease my nipples. I watched as he removed his hand from between my legs and used the moisture to rub himself. I watched in rapt attention as he moved to finally enter me, but there was also a moment of hesitation. In a panic, I grabbed him and guided him inside before he could back out.

The feeling of him inside me was nothing I could ever describe. It was perfect without him even having to move.

"Bella," he moaned when he was completely sheathed. He was still, but his breathing was erratic. We both needed a moment just to feel. It was overwhelming for the both of us. I wanted this man, loved him, and being with him like this was something I was sure would only happen in my dreams.

"Move, Edward," I instructed him softly when my need for friction become priority over anything else.

He started slowly. Holding on to my hips, he pulled out and pushed back in before he was completely out. While it felt amazing, I needed more, but didn't want to seem too demanding as a lover. Leaning back a little more, I used one hand to grope my breast and the other to rub my clit. This spurred him on to move faster.

"Oh God, Edward! Just like that."

He pumped faster, pumped harder.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm not going to last longer." In my emotional, aroused state, the term of endearment had tears burning my eyes in an effort to keep from falling. This moment, no matter how short and hurried, would be what I held on to. To be called 'baby' by the man I could never obtain would be the moment I would look back and smile at.

Embarrassed by my crying, I lifted myself up, wrapping my body around Edward. With ease, he held on to ass, taking me against the door. He pumped furiously while I sucked and licked, switching between his earlobe and neck.

Edward stilled underneath me while his grip only tightened. I hadn't gotten off, but I had gained so much more. I was pretty sure that his drunkenness and more emotional instability had played a part in my lack of orgasm.

I slide down the door slowly. He held my hand while I steadied myself on wobbly legs. I smiled gratefully when I felt a bit sturdier and lowered to clean myself up. I couldn't find it in me to do anything but watch when he began moving around the small bathroom.

"Do you want to lay down with me in the room?" he asked, his words still slurred.

"Yeah," I answered shyly. I had basically seduced this man and now I couldn't look him in the eyes. "I just need to take a shower first. I'm kinda gross from work." _Among other things._

"I'll be in my room when you're ready then."

I watched his naked ass walk back into his room, closing the door behind him. Almost too giddy too function, I took a shower and processed what just happened.

I just had sex with Edward Cullen!

I should feel bad, and on some deep rooted level, I did, but not enough to regret it. Would it have been better if he was sober? Of course, but I wasn't Edward's type, so getting him drunk was the only way _we_ could ever happened.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I dried off quickly. The topping on this drunken sundae would be spending the night with Edward even if all we would be doing was sleeping.

I knocked lightly, letting him know I was coming in. It was dark inside, but by memory I knew exactly where his bed was.

"Edward?" I whispered. I saw his toned body on the bed laying face down. As gingerly as I could I sat on his bed and rubbed his back with a feathered touch. "Edward?" I heard his soft snores.

I didn't immediately leave. I considered staying anyway and gluing myself to his side, but my Edward high was wearing down. If I stayed the night, and he woke up wondering what the hell I was doing in his bed it would break my heart. It was better if I separated myself now; start preparing early for the regret and maybe disgust I would see in his eyes the next morning.

With a gentle kiss to his shoulder blade and a quiet thank you for the best night of my life, I walked out of Edward's bedroom.

**AN: Thanks to Chandrakanta D'Aman to beta'ing this chapter. I bit the bullet and posted this story. I wanted to wait until it was finished before posting, but without the urgency of updating, I wasn't writing anything at all. With that being said, there won't be a schedule for this story, but I promise to try my hardest to update somewhat regularly. Please review if you feel so inclined. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This chapter is un-beta'd at the moment. It will be replaced when I get the changes made. All things Twilight belong to SM.**

The funny thing about getting my period was that I didn't pay attention to it unless it was insanely heavy. I didn't mark it on the calendar, or have the ability to mentally count the days from my last cycle. As long as I got it, I was good.

When the first month passed and it never came, I didn't even notice. When the second month passed and I saw that I had a lot more extra tampons than I was used to, it made me pause and wonder. Not to mention the occasional nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. I had a perfectly viable excuse for it all. The fatigue was because I was wearing myself thin by working double shifts throughout the week. The sickness was due to the food poisoning I got a few weeks back that left remnants of nausea that I just couldn't kick. I was just sick I told myself repeatedly until I could no longer deny the possible reason behind it all.

Feeling like a sixteen year old girl, I made an embarrassing trip to the drug store. The visit should have taken no more than ten minutes. Pick a test, pay for it, and get the fuck out of there. However, there were way too many pregnancy tests on the market these days – digital, early response, blue strip, pink plus sign, one that probably sliced, diced, and sautéed. Finally, I decided on the digital one hoping that there was no way for me to wrongly read a false positive or negative.

Yelling a quick hello to my dad, I ran up the stairs and locked the bathroom door. Before sitting on the toilet to pee on the stick that had the potential to change everything, I yanked my underwear down hoping to see at least the smallest hint of blood. Nothing.

Three minutes. I was expected to _wait three minutes _after pissing on the plastic. I stared at the stick like it held the reason for my existence…

There was one day a few years ago, at nineteen I think, when I was joking around with Emmett and asked him if he would be the godfather to Edward's and my love child. We laughed about it. It was also the first time we had gotten into his family's liquor cabinet.

After reading the results, I would have to ask Emmett again if he'd like to be his nephew's godfather.

**~'Cause baby you're worth it~**

It shouldn't be this hard. I wasn't a teenager and I held a full-time job; albeit the grocery store wasn't where I envisioned myself five years ago.

Charlie was going to be so disappointed in me - not that I made him the proudest father in the past. There was a point in my life where I had been rebellious. I did poorly in school and I hadn't made much of myself since graduating. I was still living at home with no prospects of moving out. Adding a child into the mix was not going to put any points in my column.

I ambled down the stairs, unsure of how I was going to break the news to my dad. I had to do it sooner than later. I loitered around the door and watched as he paid strict attention to the television. Charlie was a simple man. He enjoyed his work, a good dinner, and a beer while he watched whatever manly program he found on our basic cable package.

"You're going to have to repaint the frame if you keep picking at it like that," Charlie spoke without taking his eyes off the TV.

I entered his domain, dragging my feet. I wouldn't say I had worked up the nerve to tell him, but it was definitely now or until I couldn't hide it anymore. This was not something I had any desire to hide from him.

I sat down next to him on the sofa, watching the basketball game without really seeing anything. I couldn't bring myself to look at him just yet. I was ready to crack and I hadn't even murmured the words that he was going to dread.

In an instant the television went black and the only thing visible was our own reflections. Mine looked pretty pathetic staring back at me.

"Talk to me," he demanded gently.

I shifted my body to look at him – the man that wanted nothing but the best for a daughter that never proved her worth.

"I…" I started but abruptly stopped when my lip began to quiver. Looking into Charlie's frightened eyes was gut wrenching. Before it could even register, two tears quickly crashed down to my hands which were placed tightly on my lap.

"What's wrong?" He was frantic with worry. His body jerked left than right, unsure of his movements and what needed to do to make the situation better. "We can fix it! Whatever it is we can fix it, but you have to tell me."

I shook my head sadly. This wasn't something that could just be fixed. Not like everything that he had to help me fix.

"I'm so sorry, daddy," I cried. I was sure that he would misunderstand what I was apologizing for. I wasn't sorry for the baby that I carried and already loved with my whole being – it was half Edward's, after all. I was sorry for not being the daughter that he deserved. I was sorry for not being more for him. I was sorry for putting him in a predicament that he would want no part of.

"Shh, baby. Please don't cry." He cradled me in his arms as if it was completely normal. Truth be told, neither of us were overly affectionate, always overtaken by the awkwardness of it all. We knew who we loved and why, but we never seemed to find a reason as to why we had to show it.

I pulled back in an effort to control my emotions. If I stayed hugged in his arms, I would stay there and revert back to daddy's little girl that could do no wrong but did so time and time again.

"I have to tell you something," I wheezed out. He looked at me expectantly, but lovingly and patiently. "I'm pregnant," I finally confessed.

I waited for the fall out of his ire, and I wasn't disappointed. I felt him freeze before subtly pushing away from me. My heart sank. I didn't expect his support, but I hoped for it.

We sat in silence for over fifteen minutes. Charlie alternated between holding his head in his hands and staring blankly at the ground. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. The silence was deafening, maddening even, but I was too scared to be the one to break it.

Finally, he sighed deeply. "I guess it's not as bad as going to jail," he said to the ground. "That's what I thought you were trying to tell me." The silence returned for long minutes before he spoke again. "So you're pregnant." I nodded even though it seemed that refused to look at me. "And you know who the father is, right?" He looked at me pointedly.

"Yes, dad."

"Does he know yet?" I shook my head. "Who's the father, Bella?"

"Edward."

Charlie threw his head back with a groan. I was sure he knew about my feelings for Edward. More than once had he walked in on me confessing my undying love for Edward to his brother or caught a glance at my endless notebooks that had 'Mrs. Edward Cullen' written within a heart from years ago. It was only recently that I'd stop doing that. Charlie probably thought it was a lot more harmless than it really was. Really, it was harmless up until an hour ago. I was even doubtful that Emmett understood the full extent of how much Edward owned my heart.

Charlie was a fan of Edward, but how that benefited me I wasn't sure. He always admired Edward's hard work and dedication; not only to his studies and career, but to his family and community. I'm sure Charlie thought I was capable of corrupting Edward if I ever got my claws into him.

"Does Emmett know?" He sounded tired- aged dramatically since I broke the news less than an hour ago.

"No. I just found out. You're the first person I told."

"I'm honored," he deadpanned. Another huff. "So what are your plans?" He continued without letting me answer. "How are you going to handle this? Do you realize how hard it's going to be to raise a baby – a child – on a cashier's salary? You have no real career or degree." He got up and began pacing the length of the living room. "You're still on my health insurance for god's sake, Bella," he stated as if I hadn't already known that.

"I know, Dad, I know," I responded meekly, willing myself not to cry again. "But I want to keep the baby, Dad." I knew what it was like to not be wanted. "I'm not asking you to support this baby. I was just hoping you could support _me_ with my decision. I know that bringing a baby into this world isn't the smartest thing, but I can do this."

"And what makes you think you can? What do you know about raising a baby?" I could tell that he was trying to contain his frustration. While I appreciated it, it was still a hard pill to swallow knowing that Charlie was not only upset with me, but thought I couldn't be a good mother.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. Really, I hadn't thought much about it. It was just…a feeling. I knew what I _shouldn't_ do; my own mother being a prime example. "If I need help, pointers, or whatever I could ask Sue or Esme," I reasoned.

Sue and my father had been seeing in each for the past six years. She was there through my rough patch in high school, and more than once, was the voice of mothering advice. Between her and Em's mother, I was okay in the positive female role model department.

I hadn't spoken to my mother, Renee, in years. She was never mother of the year and I accepted that at the young age of ten when I finally took notice of how Emmett's parents treated their kids. Esme was always there, even when she was working. I heard her say numerous times that she was only a phone call away, even extending it to me if I were to need her for something. Their dad, Carlisle was a workaholic, but still made time for them when he was home and called often throughout the day.

My mother, by comparison, was as far from Esme on that spectrum as one could get. Where Esme took me in, Renee abandoned me. I didn't realize that's what it was until the age of eleven. There were phone calls, letters, and eventually e-mails full of promises of visits and shopping trips. As a young child, every correspondence had me sitting on the porch steps waiting for my mom to arrive. Charlie humored me more often than not by sitting out there with me, but he knew. He knew she wasn't coming.

My senior year of high school I was finally ready to cut all ties. It was hard, as a child, to know that your mother felt that you held her back. It was a slap in the face to get a phone call telling me that I was going to be an older sister. Renee was beyond ecstatic to find out that she was having another baby. A chance to "get it right this time" as she referred to it.

What was so wrong with me?

I was done. School, friends, and housework took a backburner. I spent weeks telling Charlie to get out of my face; that he didn't know shit about me. In my struggles to convince him that I no longer cared about the high school experiences, the diploma that my hard work would have earned me, I somehow managed to start believing the lies. With less than three months left of school, and graduation on the horizon, Emmett and Charlie banded together and told me, in not so many words, to get my shit together. After missing nearly six weeks of classes, notes, tests, and homework, Emmett helped me catch up. His own worked had to have suffered, but I was too much of a coward to confirm my suspicions. On his part, Charlie fought the school to prevent them from taking me off the rooster after having missed so many days. I was put on lockdown until graduation – if I managed to graduate at all. In the end, I did, but just barely. Getting into any college was damn near impossible, and if I was being honest with myself, not something I wanted to pursue anyway.

"Tell me the truth, Bella." He waited until he was satisfied that he had my undivided attention. "Did you get pregnant on purpose to trap Edward?"

My eyes widened at his question and my heart broke. Did he really think so little of me? We both knew that I made some regretful decisions in the past, but surely his opinion of me couldn't have dropped so low.

"Of course not! It was a lapse in judgment - my judgment," I clarified, unwilling to throw Edward under the bus. "I'm not trying to trap Edward. I don't expect anything from him."

"You need to tell him, Bella."

"I am. I will," I corrected myself. "It's just…I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, too. I told you because…you're my father and it was important that you know."

With a defeated sigh he closed his eyes and began rubbing them slowing. "I'm _your_ father, Edward is someone else's father now. He needs to know sooner than later."

He walked away before I could assure him that I didn't intend to make Edward wait too long.

I hadn't even given the rest of the Cullen family a second thought in the short time from being unsure to being a future mother. The Cullens were always good to me as I was Emmett's best friend. Not only had they babysat me in my younger years, but hosted birthday parties and invited me along on family vacations. I couldn't even fathom what they would think. A small, very optimistic part of me hoped that they would accept the pregnancy with no questions asked. However, the realistic part – the part of me that knew the Cullens – was aware that this would be a blow to the traditional parents.

**~'Cause I know that's a good place to start~**

"I have something to tell you," Emmett and I said at the same time. I laughed and told Emmett to go first. I could use a little more time. It had been two weeks since I told Charlie and every day since he'd ask me if I had told Edward or Emmett yet. Every day I was met with a nod of disappointment when I confessed I had not.

"I met this girl this morning at the gas station. She was beautiful, Bella. Like, she was ethereal," he gushed all starry eyed. I shouldn't have been surprised that he used such a word to describe a female.

"Yeah?" I asked excitedly. It was unusual for Emmett to be so excited over a girl, especially since they threw themselves at him since high school. He was always the complete opposite of Edward. Where the females seemed to ignore Edward, Emmett couldn't beat them away with a stick. Emmett had game – I witnessed myself a time or two – but he remained the perpetually single type.

"So what happened? Did you get her number? Did you give her yours?"

"We did. We exchanged numbers, but I haven't called her. She said she was on her way to work so I'm going to give her a call tonight."

"I'm so excited for you." I crashed into him for a tight hug. His happiness was my happiness. "What's her name?"

"Huh. What 'til you hear this." He put his palms up for dramatic effect. "Rosalie. Even her name is sexy."

I ran through all the females in Forks I knew and not one Rosalie came to mind.

"Is she new?"

"Yup. Moved here over the holidays." He sighed contently before shifting his eyes over to me. "Your turn now."

I had to break the news gently to him. This was big after all. My news would dramatically change both of our lives forever and I needed to ease him into this information.

"Me and Edward had sex at your Valentine's party and now I'm pregnant and Edward's the father and that makes you an uncle."

With comically wide eyes, not unlike an owl's, he blinked at me, letting the news sink in. I could tell the moment it did. His eyes returned to their normal size and he huffed out a laugh.

"You're joking right," he asked with a smile. His smile faded when I didn't answer and his face become serious. "Tell me you're joking, Bella," he demanded. I shook my head.

I didn't expect him to jump for joy with me – though that would have been nice – but I wasn't expecting what he gave me either. He almost looked stress out himself; like he was the father.

"What's wrong?" I asked, stupidly. There was a lot wrong, according to Charlie, but my situation didn't affect Emmett directly.

He ran his hands through his short hair. "Bella." He stopped speaking as if to really consider his next words. "Edward was a virgin and if what you told me is true – and I'm not saying that you're lying – you took Edward's virginity."

It was my turn to laugh, except it wasn't that funny.

"Shut up, Em," I said instead. "Ha ha. Don't even joke about that. This is serious."

"Yeah, and so am I."

"Emmett! Tell me right now that you're joking." He stared at me. "How the fuck is that even possible?" I shouted. "He's a hot twenty nine year old doctor!"

"He's a twenty nine year old nerd. He may have the looks, but he still acts like a nerd, Bella. You're just too infatuated to see it," he countered. "He's socially awkward, stutters when he's nervous, goes over the periodic table when he can't sleep, and subscribes to Warlock Weekly. You're opinion of him is _extremely _biased."

"He's your brother. How can you say that?"

"What?" He threw his hands up in defense. "I didn't say that I didn't love him. I'm just telling you the truth; what _other_ people see. There were girls who tried, sure, but Edward was never able to seal the deal."

I let myself fall onto his bed. This was so wrong. He deserved to have lost his v-card in a more appropriate manner; not while drunk in a bathroom. Not while I was perched on a sink and against a wall…

"Wait!" I interrupted my thoughts, jolting off the bed. "There's _no way_ he was a virgin. I know you don't want to hear this, but he knew what he was doing – even drunk. How the hell would a virgin know how to handle wall sex and-"

"Stop!" Emmett yelled, holding his hands against his ears. "You have no idea how much I don't want to hear this. Look, maybe I'm wrong and somewhere down the road he lost his virginity, but I highly doubt it. I'm pretty sure you were his first."

I sat back down on Emmett's bed, contemplating yet another way I managed to fuck up Edward's life. I couldn't lie and say that a part of me wasn't pleased that I was his first – if that were true- but a larger part of me was disappointed that I took another choice away from him.

I felt the dip in the bed besides me before his arms wrapped around me. "It'll be okay. How'd the morning after talk go? Awkward?"

"I…uh…haven't talked to him since that night," I confessed. "The next morning I got called to come in even earlier. I did check up on him before I left, but he was still sleeping. Then I think it became a mutual avoidance. The few times we'd be in the same room together one of us found a reason to leave. I thought about calling him, but what would I have said? Hey, Edward, the sex was great. What did you think? Let's do that again sometime?"

Emmett laughed loudly. "You're horrible at relationships. Always were."

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"No," he sighed. "Shocked? Hell yes, but not mad. I guess I reacted badly. Should I assume Edward doesn't know then?"

I shook my head. "The only people who know are you and my dad."

"How'd he react?"

"Huh. He was disappointed, ashamed, probably embarrassed." I could feel the tears forming. I wiped them away before Emmett could see, but he knew. "He asked me if I got pregnant on purpose." I nodded when I heard Emmett sputter. "Yup. You know how much he admires Edward and everything he's become. I mean, fuck, I'm sure he's prouder of you than he is of me."

"Don't say that." He squeezed me tighter. "He loves you. He loves me more, but he still loves you." He laughed when I gave him the stick eye. "I'm kidding. But seriously, this is a lot for him to take in, too. He's going to be a grandfather for Christ's sake."

"I get that, but to accuse me of something so low down? C'mon."

"Yeah, that was pretty harsh. He knows you better than that."

"How do you think your parents are going to react?" I asked, needing to change gears from Charlie.

"I don't know. It's hard to say. You know they love you and they love kids, but they're kind of old school. I don't think that they expect anyone to wait until marriage these days, but it's not even like you two were dating. I think that aspect may take them aback."

"Do you think they'll disown me? Or as much as non-parents can disown their son's friend?"

"Of course not. I don't think they're going to jump for joy that their more-than-perfect-son knocked you up, but I don't see them kicking you out of the house either."

"That doesn't exactly instill the confidence that I need. Not to mention that I don't want them pissed off at Edward. It wasn't his fault."

"So what? You're going to take_ all _the blame for this? When the hell did you become the Immaculate Conception? You've may have been drunk but you were both there."

"I wasn't drunk, Emmett." I made sure that he understood what I was saying. "I knew what I was doing, but…I was just so caught up in the moment that I wasn't even thinking about protection. All I could think about that it was _Edward_. An impossible dream that I thought would never come true."

Emmett sat stoic beside me, staring at the wall ahead. He wasn't trying to comfort ma and tell me that things would work out the way they were supposed to.

I stared at the same wall Emmett found so fascinating. My mood was slipping further and further south. "That's why this is my fault." This time he didn't disagree with me.

**AN: If you haven't figured it out, part of the title is Justin Timberlake's ****Not Such a Bad Thing****. The scene breaks are lyrics to the song (in no particular order). Someone needs to fic that song, so when that happens, let me know.**

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	3. Chapter 3

**AN: All things Twilight belong to SM.**

I had just sat down from purging my insides into the toilet. My morning sickness had a funny way of sticking with me long after the morning past. And it wasn't like this morning sickness was strictly vomit. Oh, no. That would be too simple. Every time I shoved my head in the toilet to throw up, my other end decided it needed to add its own music to the bathroom symphony and I was the unwilling conductor. Thankfully, Charlie was never around to hear these less than womanly sounds.

I heard the front door open, knowing that it was Emmett coming in. Charlie stayed out more often than not now and I knew I was the reason. He never had much to say to me, except to ask if I had told Edward yet. Every time I said no, he walked away.

With everything that was going on with Charlie, I was thankful that my relationship with Emmett hadn't suffered much. I could tell that he was disappointed in my decisions from that night, but he was also trying to get past it. I couldn't blame him, though. While it took two people to make a baby, only one of those people had the mental capacity to realize that having unprotected sex wasn't the best idea.

"Tomorrow," Emmett said while snatching the remote out of my hand. I watched as he flipped through the channel and stopped at SpongeBob.

"Tomorrow," I confirmed, watching as a sponge and star try to raise a clam. If a fry cook could raise a baby… "What's tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow you finally tell Edward," he answered without taking his eyes off the cartoon.

"The fuck?" I jerked my whole body to look at Emmett. "Why tomorrow?"

He finally turned to me, quirking an eyebrow. "Do you want the extended or abbreviated list of reasons?"

I made a face at him. "Give me the Cliff Note's version."

"Fine. First off, you're almost three months. You're kinda past the point of using the I-just-found-out excuse and quickly cruising into the I'm-not-saying-anything-until-I-can't-hide-the-baby-bump-anymore. The longer you wait the worse he's going to take it. Trust me." He gave me astern look to make sure I was still listening. "And second, I know he's going to be around tomorrow. He starts graveyard in the next couple days and I know that he likes to take a day off before he starts a new rotation."

I continued to stare at my couch buddy. Was I ready to tell Edward? The answer was a resounding no. Was it time to tell Edward? Yes. A long time ago.

I could admit that I was a coward. _That_ I had no problem revealing to anyone who wasn't already aware. As long as he didn't know, he couldn't hate me. At the moment, things were awkward between us but awkward I could do. Before the Valentine's party, our relationship was…okay. Maybe we weren't exactly friends, but we were more than acquaintances. We've had conversations about…things. On more than one occasion we ended up watching a movie together in his family's living room. Granted, we were on two different sides of the room and I had no idea what was going on in the movie, but we were alone. The point was that we were in an evolving position in our relationship. Sort of.

Edward hating me was not something I was ready to deal with. Ultimately, though, I knew it was inevitable. I shouldn't have kept something so important, so life changing to myself for this long.

Edward was a more than logical person. He, of all people, could see reason and understand why I waited so long to tell him. He would know what it felt like to be so incredibly scared that you couldn't sleep at night. Edward would know what it felt like to step into unfamiliar territory. Of course, he succeed at everything he tried, but that was beside the point. It all came down to knowing that he would understand. He may not agree, or be particularly happy, but he would understand.

I was fucked. Literally and figuratively.

"Tomorrow," I agreed, on the verge of having a panic attack. This was going to happen. Tomorrow.

Emmett grabbed my shoulders, staring at me like a crazy man. "Bella! B. Are you okay?" I shook my head. "Should I make the call?" I nodded frantically. He nodded with me and reached for my cell phone. He searched my recent calls looking for the needed number. He put the phone to his ear, tapping his foot impatiently waiting for someone to answer. "Yeah, hello?" He practically shouted into the phone. "I need a large meat lovers pizza…no, this is Emmett…yeah, deliver it to the Swan house. Thanks." He tossed my phone somewhere behind me. "Okay, sweetie, help is on the way. Just lie back until it comes."

Knowing that the pizza was ordered was already making me feel better. Emmett knew my crazy. He could appreciate it and work with it. In my insane state of panic I began wondering why I couldn't have fallen in love with Emmett. It would have been so much easier. We liked the same thing, had the same sense of humor, the same age, and we just _got_ each other. However, we were destined to be the soul mate version of best friends.

Forty minutes later, but still pizza-less, I was feeling better. The thought of confronting Edward tomorrow didn't scare the absolute shit out of me anymore. It was downgraded to mildly terrifying. The only comfort I got out of it was that Emmett promised to stay close if the worst case scenario occurred. I was still trying to narrow down what the worst case scenario would be.

"Finally!" I shouted when the bell rang. "Can you get the door, Em?" I asked while shoving him. "My feet are swollen," I lied.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Already using the pregnancy excuses. Your tits haven't even gotten bigger yet," he laughed. I threw a pillow at him that he easily dodged while grabbing the money off the mantle. I palmed my breasts. They weren't noticeably bigger, but I always thought they were a good size. Bigger wouldn't hurt, though.

"What the fuck," I said to myself when a minute passed and Emmett hadn't come back with the pizza. How long did it take to hand the guy the money and shut the door? I lifted myself from the lumpy couch and toward the door where he was still standing with it open.

"Emmett," I whined while running my belly that was not yet protruding. "The baby's hungry. Where's the pizza?"

To my utter surprise, there was an unfamiliar blonde girl at my doorstep. Her eyes flew from Emmett to my stomach, to my eyes, then back to Emmett. Her mouth hung open and she looked like she was about to cry.

"How could you?" she whispered to my silent best friend. He was completely stiff and seemed to be stuck on stupid. Sounds were coming out of his mouth, but actual words seemed to be impossibility.

It took me another minute before I finally caught on. This was Rosalie - the pretty girl that Emmett was obsessed with. I think I knew more about her than I knew about myself and at the moment she was under a very bad misconception. "Oh! No, no, no, no. He's not…" I made a motion around my belly. "This is his brother's baby," I confessed. It still wasn't coming out right. I took a deep breath and started again.

"You must be Rosalie." I extended my hand out to her. "I'm Bella, Em's best friend. I don't know if he's mentioned me."

She nodded slowly, but still appeared confused.

"Good, because he's told me a lot about you." I smiled so she wouldn't feel threatened or intimidated by me. "Why don't you come in for a few minutes? Have a slice of pizza and we can talk for a bit."

"I…um….I have to get back to work." She closed her eyes and shook her head as if to clear it. She turned to leave but turned back before she got too far. "So you're pregnant, but it not Emmett's baby?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Oh, thank God," she breathed. "I get off of work at eight. If the offer still stands, can I come back?"

"Sure!" I agreed happily. It was about time I met the girl who was able to hold Emmett's attention for more than two weeks.

"Great. I'll see you later then." She smiled shyly at Emmett, who had not uttered one word the whole time.

I watched as she drove away in her beat up clunker. She was cute and seemed nice. Based on this one awkward interaction, I already liked her. However, Alice and I had gotten along well at one point, too.

It turned out the Rosalie was awesome. I was worried that she wouldn't be good enough for Emmett, but watching them together sent a pang of jealousy through me. The relationship progression from friends to more than friends seemed easy and flawless road for them. They gravitated toward each other and I was sure neither one of them were aware. It felt great to see the light in Emmett's eyes when he was looking at her. It was recognizable. It was a light I knew resided in mine whenever I was spending any kind of time with Edward. I was so happy for him that it hurt inside.

Apparently, Emmett had told her the gist of the situation I had found myself in. I couldn't fault him for telling her. I knew that this was something big that he was carrying around and he needed to unload it on _someone_. He hadn't, however, revealed anything too personal, which I was thankful for. She had questions, which I answered willingly. It helped me to speak certain things out loud to someone who wasn't Emmett or my father. Someone who had a truly unbiased opinion of me or Edward.

When she finally left at twelve that night I knew that I had a new friend in Rosalie. It was nice to finally have a female friend. When everything came to light, I needed all the friends I could get.

**~Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow and every tomorrow~**

I yanked on Emmett's sleeve hard, forcing him to take a step back. "Why the hell is the whole family here," I gritted through clenched teeth.

Today was the day. Today I would finally confess to Edward that I was carrying his love child. As cheesy as that sounded, that's exactly what this baby was to me – the child of the man I loved more than my own self.

"You didn't tell me everyone was going to be here," I continued.

"Well if I told you that you would have chickened out and it's about time that he knows. Besides, it was the only time I knew for sure he was going to be here. Alice has this big announcement she wants to make to the family."

"Alice is here, too?" I could have slapped Emmett. I should have slapped Emmett. It was bad enough his family was going to be in such close proximity, but Alice was a whole different story. She would store away news like this in her arsenal for later usage.

My breathing became labored and the room began spinning. "I'm freaking out. Emmett, I think I'm freaking out. I can't do this." He grabbed me around the waist as I tried dodging out the front door. "You do it for me. Then write me a postcard; tell me how it goes."

"Bella," Emmett laughed, "it's going to be okay. You're not going to tell him in front of everyone. Take him to the kitchen or something. The front porch or backyard. I don't know." He let go of my waist but grabbed my face. "It's scary, I know, but you have to do this. For you and my brother. He needs to know. He should have already been told."

I groaned and rubbed my face. "I know, but-" I was cut off by someone coming through the front door. It was a male that I didn't immediately recognize. He was fairly tall with blond hair. His face was obscured by the box he was carrying.

"Here, let me help you with those." I stiffened at the voice that came out of nowhere. A voice that I was not ready to hear at the moment. I was still trying to word my declaration and it wasn't ready.

I was like an obtrusive statue - unable to move and completely in the way.

"Oh, thanks man," the new addition said. He handed over the box, finally revealing himself.

"Jasper?" I was finally able to speak.

""Bella?" His face lit up the way I remember it those years ago.

I skipped the few steps over to him and hugged him tightly. I hadn't seen him since he left for college. We kept in contact for awhile, but after time our phone calls and e-mails slowed until they just stopped altogether.

I stepped back to look at him again. He looked good – older and more mature. His features that were once soft were now hardened and more defined. Age was treating him very well.

"Wow. You look good. Real life has been kind to you, huh?" I giggled.

"I can say the same for you. It's like you haven't aged since high school." He hugged me again. "I was hoping I would run into you. I didn't think it would be so soon, though," he laughed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"He's with me," Alice gloated, bring her arms through his and pulling him back. She kissed his cheek while maintaining eye contact with me.

Well damn!

"Oh, yeah?" I couldn't hide the surprise from my voice. I turned to look at Emmett who looked just as surprised as I did.

"Yup," she responded proudly. Jasper looked confused at the tension that suddenly engulfed the air around us.

"Okay. Well…I'm just going to hang out in Emmett's room for awhile." I hadn't noticed Esme and Carlisle standing in the door way. I waved before I turned to head up the stairs.

"No, Bella. Stay," Alice said sweetly. "You should hear this, too." She smirked at me evilly. "Let's all head into the living room."

We all gathered into the room. I sat by Emmett but couldn't keep my eyes off Edward. My eyes followed every move his body made. I was trying to assess his mood. He seemed relaxed and at ease as he patiently waited for whatever it is that Alice had to say.

As for me, I had no idea what I was doing here. I couldn't care less what Alice had to say. I was antsy and just wanted to talk to Edward already. I was ready to pull it like a band-aid. Rip it the hell off and cry because the after pain was going to hurt like a bitch.

More than once, I saw Edward's gaze land on me, but he never let it stay long. Maybe in his genius mind, he knew something was up. I wouldn't put it past him. However, I could guarantee that he couldn't predict the shit storm I was about to hit him with.

"So Mom, Dad," Alice began. "You know that Jasper and I have been dating for a few years now."

"Did you know that?" I whispered to Emmett.

He shook his head. "I knew she was dating someone, but I didn't know it was him. I didn't even know that they _knew_ each other," he whispered back.

Alice looked to Jasper with such a love and admiration that I didn't know she was capable of. "We're engaged!" she squealed.

There was a stunned silence in the room. Based on the looks Esme and Carlisle were giving the newly engaged couple, they were just as surprised as Emmett and me.

"Well…wow!" Esme finally spoke. "I'm so happy for you both." She hugged the happy couple. "What a…wonderful surprise. Isn't, Carlisle?" She turned and gave Carlisle a look that told him he better get his ass up there and fake it with her. I had to stifle my chuckle. I didn't miss Alice's glare at me.

"Oh, yes!" Carlisle jumped up from his seat and followed Esme's lead. After a few minutes, Edward and Emmett gave in and offered their congratulations. I would give Jasper my sympathies in private.

I let the family have this "bonding" time before I finally had to take Edward off to the side. I patted his shoulder, gaining his attention from Emmett.

"Hey. Can I speak with you in private for a minute?"

With his middle finger, he pushed his glasses back up. "I um…um…yes. Okay." He motioned with his arm toward the kitchen. "A-after you, I guess."

I gave him a small smile. Emmett have me a thumbs up behind Edward's back. I rolled my eyes, but appreciated the gesture.

"So uh…how have things been?" I asked when we were settled on opposite sides of the kitchen isle.

"Pleasant, I guess. Works keeps me busy so I haven't had much time for any social activities."

"That sucks," I eloquently replied. "I've been working a lot, too."

We remained awkwardly silent. The longer the quiet dragged on, the easier it became for me to decide to hit the ground running.

"You said you needed to speak with me?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Um, yeah." I cleared my throat. "Do you remember the Valentine's party?" I asked shyly. "Or what we did?" I couldn't look at him, instead scratching my thumb nail against the smooth marble.

He cleared his throat as well. "I do. Poor decisions were made that night. We weren't thinking clearly."

"Right. Um.." If I kept clearing my throat it was going to become extremely sore. "See, the things is…I wasn't drunk," I confessed. His eyes snapped to mine. "I only had a few sips of Emmett's drink. I was sober."

He was already turning red and I hadn't even gotten to the good part. I feared for his health. Where the hell did gentle Edward go?

"There's more," I added.

He stretched out his arms and let his hands grip the edge of the counter, waiting for the other blow. His knuckles were quickly turning white.

Why the fuck was I doing this again?

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for his coming wrath. "I'm pregnant, Edward." I closed my eyes, bit my lip, and waited. Nothing came. I slowly opened one eye then the other.

He was white as a sheet and his eyes looked as if he had seen a ghost. This continued for what seemed like forever.

"Edward, I didn't mean…"

"Shut up!" he growled, effectively shutting me up. "You're lying."

"I'm not," I replied softly.

"You're lying," he yelled. I had never seen him so angry. There was a fire in his eyes that I didn't even know he could ever possess. This was my Edward. My sweet, nerdy Edward.

"What's going on in here?" Esme had quietly entered the kitchen during our stare down. "What is the screaming about?" At this point, the whole family was in the room with us. Emmett kept to the back looking sad. He obviously knew this was not going well.

"Tell them, Bella," Edward gritted out.

I looked to sweet, unsuspecting Esme who had gotten enough surprising news for the day. I hated to add to her stress.

I swallowed. "I'm pregnant. Next week will be three months," I confessed. Everyone but Edward turned to Emmett who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He held his hands up innocently. "Emmett is not the father." If the situation wasn't so serious I could find the humor in everyone assumption. "It's Edward's."

Alice laughed loudly. She bent at the waist, holding her stomach. "Oh my God! Are you serious?" She turned to Edward. "Is she serious?"

"Yes," he snarled. "She got herself pregnant and she's trying to claim that I fathered the fetus."

"You can't believe that," I cried.

"Of course I can. You're like a lot of other girls. You want the Cullen name, the Cullen money. What better way than claiming to be carrying my offspring?"

"W-what?" I stuttered through my tears.

"But you're worse," he continued. "You've been trying to infiltrate this family for years."

"Son, that's a bit much," Carlisle chided. "I think you need to calm down," he added sternly.

"It's true," he defended himself. "Ever since she moved here she tried to weasel her way into this family. Staying for dinners, going on vacations with us, all the babysitting." He turned to Emmett who stood in the back stock still. "Do you remember when she first moved to Forks?" he asked Em. "Didn't you say that she was acting like your shadow? Following you around everywhere."

I looked sharply at Emmett. My heart was breaking as every silent second past. Why wasn't he denying it?

"You see? It's true. Bella always wanted to be a Cullen and she thinks that this is the way to make it official."

I was still gaping at Emmett. Was he faking being my friend this whole time? Was I an annoyance that he couldn't shake? As if reading my mind, Emmett finally spoke up.

"No, Bella. Don't listen to him. You're being a fucking dick, man. You know Bella's not like that." He stomped over to where Edward was standing. "You fucked up and made a bad decision. Now you need to live with the consequences. Man the fuck up," he spat.

Edward was a deep shade of red and breathing heavily. He looked past Emmett and straight at me. "I want a paternity test. I refuse to believe that I was your only partner. You seemed awfully close to Jasper, here."

"Whoa, man," Jasper chimed in. "Don't involve me in your mess. I haven't seen Bella in years." I could tell Jasper was angry, but he was still that peaceful guy that I remembered. He hated conflict and tried to avoid it at all cost.

"Sorry," I heard Edward mumble under his breath. It was nice to know that his decency was still there. It was just buried underneath all his fury.

It was like show down in the Wild West. Everyone was staring each other down. To say this turned out terribly would be an understatement. Never had I imagined so many people becoming involved in such a private matter.

"Edward." I reached out to touch him only for him to violently jerk himself away. "I never meant to hurt you and I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't plan this." I wiped tears from my cheeks. "I don't want anything from you. You just deserved to know." All eyes were on me. "Ma, Carlisle…I'm sorry about all this. I know you wanted better for your son." I looked to Edward who refused to even glance in my direction.

I started toward the kitchen exit. The tension was suffocating. I couldn't breathe. On my way out, I passed Jasper who was looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"I'll call you," he mouthed. I nodded but didn't acknowledge him further.

"Congratulations," I told Alice. Her smug smile was the last thing I saw before walking out of the Cullen house.

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	4. Chapter 4

"So you got another job?" Charlie asked from his place behind the newspaper. Since I informed him that I told Edward, he eased up a little. He no longer stared needlessly, probably wondering where he had gone wrong. What he, or anyone for that matter, didn't know was that it truly was all me. I was the natural mess up. I was the one who was abandoned by a mother her knew her daughter was useless.

"Yeah," I replied playing with the left over milk from my cereal. "I start tomorrow night at the diner."

"What about the job at the grocery store?" He put the paper down. I could see the frown lines beginning to form. One day soon they would be a permanent fixture.

"I still have it. The diner is just part time. I need the extra money, so while I can work two jobs, I am."

He continued to look at me, but didn't say anything. I tried reading him, but he was always a closed book. He rationalized his feeling in his head before he let on to the outside world.

With a sigh, he heaved himself from the seat. "I have to be at work. Will you be home tonight?"

"Yup," I answered. I had nowhere else to be. "Did you need me to do something?"

He continued to stare at me wordlessly. I was beginning to think I had something dangling from my nose that he wasn't telling me about. "No." He seemed as if he was about to something but reconsidered. "No. I'll see you tonight."

It had been three days since the disastrous reveal. Every minute of every day I had the urge to call Edward so we could talk about this in private; in no way had a planned on the whole family being there. The way Edward handled things shocked the hell out of me. That wasn't Edward. Not the one I knew. I was stupid enough to forgive him if he came today and asked for it.

I didn't know what hurt more, though - the fact that he was denying the baby – or soon to be baby – or Edward believing that I had an ulterior motive with the Cullen family. I really thought of them as family – closer than blood – and assumed they thought that way of me. If _he_ thought that way of me, what did the others really think of me? Did they just tolerate me for the sake of Emmett?

Emmett.

He was another issue unto himself and what actually troubled me the most. While Edward hurt me beyond belief, Emmett was my absolute best friend. The best person in this whole world. Was _he_ just tolerating me? There were so many questions I had for him, but I was dodging him. When he called, I didn't answer the phone. When he came by the house I didn't let him in. He had his own key, but he also knew where we kept the spare. He was giving me the space I needed.

**~And I won't stop until you believe it~**

"I heard something about you," Jessica, the part-time bagger sang.

I rolled my eyes but was still curious. "Yeah? And what's that?"

"That you got yourself preggers by your sugar daddy, but now he wants nothing to do with you. Your plan back-fired, huh?" she laughed.

"And exactly where did you hear this?" There were only a handful of people who knew but only two could be the source. I prayed that it wasn't Rosalie, but was pretty confident that it was Alice. She was vicious enough to spread that kind of damaging rumor. Jasper was also a possibility, but it wasn't in his nature to be so catty as to gossip and spread lies.

"Without revealing any names, she's pretty close to you so I know she's reliable," Jessica revealed.

"Did Alice tell you who said sugar daddy was?" I asked a stunned Jessica. Surely she couldn't think I was dumb enough to not know who told her.

"I never said it was Alice," she stammered.

"You didn't need to. Who's my sugar daddy?" I asked again.

Thankfully, she gave up all pretenses. "She didn't name names. Is it true, though?"

"I am," I sighed, knowing that it was going to come out sooner or later. I didn't think it would be this soon, though. But there was never a sugar daddy, though. If I did have one, do you think I'd be killing myself ringing groceries and stocking shelves five days a week? Alice tells half-truths."

"Who's the dad?" she asked eagerly, bypassing everything I just said.

To tell or not to tell. I already knew that wasn't going to say anything. This was a private, unresolved matter between Edward and me. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I fathered a child with him. I'd shout it from the rooftop if I could. Even if we didn't have that showdown the other day, I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't have been too thrilled with me as his baby's mother.

"It's Emmett Cullen, isn't it?" She was so sure. Did we give off the vibe that we were dating?

"Why does anyone keep thinking that?" I asked out loud.

"Because you two are joined at the hip and it's common knowledge that guys and girls can't be friends without some kind of sexual tension. If you ask me, it was about time you hit that. He's seriously gorgeous."

Her response didn't surprise me. Throughout high school, and even after, I was asked constantly if there was something romantic going on between Emmett and I. Whenever I responded in the negative they looked at me as if I was crazy. I could admit that Emmett was good looking – I wasn't blind – but I wasn't attracted to him like that. I saw him like a brother and it was too gross to consider going _there_ with him. Edward, on the other hand, was the furthest thing from a sibling to me and maybe I was biased, but Edward was, by far, cuter than Emmett. Not even in the nerdy sense. Edward was just …hot.

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't ask you then," I retorted. "Emmett is not the father and don't ask again who is because I'm not saying."

"You're no fun," She pouted.

"No one ever said pregnancy was fun." I shrugged her off. She was nosey, but otherwise harmless. Like the rest of us, she was bored in Forks and latching on to gossip was something to do to pass the time. "Look, just do me a favor. I'm not going to ask you to keep the pregnancy to yourself. That would be completely pointless. But I'm asking you not to keep the sugar daddy rumor circulating."

"Yeah, all right. I'm sure Alice has already told the whole town anyway."

**~When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now your bleeding~**

"Come on!" I whined to my truck that refused to start. I beat on the wheel to help release all the pent up aggression.

I didn't want to, but I had to call Emmett. It was my first night at the diner and I had no way of getting there. I called his cell, but got no answer. If I didn't want to call him before, I _really_ didn't want to call him now. Emmett had a tendency to leave his cell in random places and just forget about it. I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't answer. Now, I'd have to call his house phone and who knows who would answer. I bit the bullet and dialed. It rang three times.

And since I had shitty luck…

"Hello?" Edward answered angrily. I cursed caller ID.

"Hi…um…this is Bella," I replied stupidly. "Can I speak to Emmett? I don't think he has his phone on him."

"One moment, please." I heard the soft thud as he placed the phone down. That was it, but could I really expect him to greet me friendlier?

I waited for what seemed like forever. Was Emmett even there? Or was Edward playing childish games and keeping me waiting only to tell me that Emmett wasn't even at home. It had to be the former, because the latter wasn't his style.

"Hey, Bella. You there?" Emmett greeted as he answered the phone.

"Yeah, I'm here. What took so long?"

"I was in the shower. I'm taking Rosalie out tonight."

"Oh. Um…okay. Have fun then. I'll talk to you later." I heard him shout my name as I pulled the phone away from my ear. "I'm still here."

"Did you need something?" he asked with concern.

"It's alright. I'll figure something out. Say hi to her for me."

"No, what is it? It's not a formal date; we were just going to hang out. What's up?"

"I need a ride to work. I got a part-time thing at the diner and my truck's being stupid."

"Well damn! Another job?" I heard rustling on the other end of the line. "Give me twenty minutes."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank, Em."

Fifteen minutes later there was opening and closing of the door followed by footsteps.

"In here," I called from the kitchen.

"Hey," Emmett greeted shyly. He looked around the room as if he hadn't been here in years.

"Hey. Let me just get my stuff." I went to walk out of the room but doubled back. I couldn't act like there wasn't some elephant in the room. The issue needed to be addressed and it was killing me to have this tension with him. "Can we talk real quick?"

"Please. I've been trying to give you time, but this thing between us sucks."

I leaned against the sink and got straight to the point. "Did you really say that to Edward? That I was acting like your shadow?" It saddened me to think about it again.

"I did," he confessed. He was quick to stride over to me, taking my hands in his. "But I was what…seven, eight years old? You can't hold it against me _now_." He flashed me a smile that no girl could resist. While I didn't want to jump his bones, it did make it easier to forgive him when I was mad. "Plus, this is Edward we're talking about. He probably remembers what I had for lunch six years ago on the second Tuesday of June." I let him engulf me in his huge arms. I was partially smothered as he rocked me back and forth. "C'mon, B. You know you're my best friend and how much I love you. I was a little asshole when I was a kid. You can be my shadow any time." My laughter was muffled by his shoulder. I pushed myself back.

"Do you think what he said was true, then? That I'm trying to find my way into the family?" I asked.

"You've been trying to get into the family forever," he joked. I shoved his shoulder, giggling with him.

"No, seriously. Is that what you think?"

"I'll tell you what I _know_," he began seriously. "I know that you're so stupidly in love with the guy that you'd let him slide with the way he talked to you. We had a huge fight after you left that night. We're not on the best of terms right now."

"Em," I groaned. "Don't fight with him over this – over me. Your family is going to have another reason to hate me."

"My family doesn't hate you, but that's beside the point. I'm telling you, you're going to let him slide. No matter how much I tell you not to, you still will," he said pointedly. "Just…don't let him break your heart even more. It seems inevitable at this point."

I gave him a sad, pathetically knowing look. He was right. "You know I still love him, right? Like, despite the way he ripped me a new one, I would still love to be with him. That's…really bad, huh?"

He smirked and gave me a small smile. "I don't know about bad, but…it's something, I guess. I wish I could empathize but…" he trailed off not knowing what to say.

"It's alright. I know." I released a deep sigh. "We have to get going. I'm going to be late."

**~ So don't act like it's such a bad thing to fall in love with me~**

"You piece of shit!" I yelled out, banging on the steering wheel. The truck had died on me twice since I got it started again. Not only was this car not baby-safe, it was a fucking death trap. It stalled on me again about a block away from the hospital. I ungracefully hopped out and walked the rest of the way. Hopefully, it would get towed, junked, and go straight to hell. Getting a new car was another expense I couldn't afford.

"Hi, Ms. Zafrina," I greeted the old nurse at the front station. She was an old Caribbean lady who had been at the hospital for what seemed like forever. She had been here when I was a little girl and didn't appear as if she was going anywhere anytime soon.

"Hello, young Isabella," she greeted me the same way she had she since my first visit many years ago. Her accent was not as thick as it used to be. "What brings you by tonight?"

I had rehearsed this since I got in my truck. "Edward forgot his dinner and Esme asked me to bring it over," I lied, but held up the paper bag to support my story. I guess it wasn't a complete lie since I did bring food; it just wasn't Esme's food.

"Such a sweet girl you are," she cooed. "You've got good timing. He just hat down in the office a few minutes ago. Do you know where it is?" I shook my head. I had never visited him at work. "Down that hall right there," she pointed, "three doors down on the left."

"Thanks. Have a good night." I waved and made my way down the designated hall. Thankfully, his office door didn't have a window. He couldn't see me as I stood there, my hand raised but afraid to actually knock. I counted to twenty and let my knuckles tap the door once. If he didn't hear it then I would take it as a sign.

"Come in," he called from the other side.

_Shit!_

Bracing myself to be kicked out once he saw me, I hesitantly stepped into his domain. He shot up from behind his desk.

"I came with a peace offering," I said quickly. I held up the paper bag. "Two crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." He loved them. Maybe it would help him realize that I did know him; that I wasn't a shallow and superficial opportunist who only saw dollar signs.

"What do you want? It's highly inappropriate for you to show up at my place of work. I don't want to argue with you here."

I stepped further into his office uninvited, closing the door behind me. If by some chance it did get loud, and least the closed door would muffle it some. I placed the bag on his surprisingly disorganized desk.

"I'm not here to fight with you, Edward." I moved toward a chair with the intention of sitting, but thought better of it. "Can I?" I motioned toward the chair. He continued to glare, but eventually allowed it. "Thanks. It's been a really long day and my feet are killing me and the store was crazy busy all day and…"

"Why are you here, Bella," Edward cut me off.

"Right." I forgot how I had a tendency to ramble around him. "The other day was really bad. I never it even imagined it going down like that." I recollected that horrible day. It made me think a lot about myself and how other people, particularly the Cullens, viewed me as a person. "Did you really mean those things you said?"

"Look." Edward took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "My behavior that day was deplorable, and for _that_ I apologize. However, I stand by what I said. I don't trust your intentions or paternity claim."

I nodded, accepting his apology just like Emmett knew I would. I hadn't really thought of what I would say if I saw Edward tonight. Frankly, I didn't think I would make it this far.

"Okay. Um…I guess that's understandable," I accepted, but was still wholly confused. "I never really thought about it, but despite all the years we've known each other, you don't really _know_ me." Hormones were going a little nuts at the moment. I huffed out a laugh to help prevent myself from crying. "I gotta say, though, that I thought you would think a little better of me than that. I'm not sure what I ever did or said to make you think I was that kind of person."

"It's the only reasonable explanation for all of this," he answered.

"I'm not sure what you mean," I replied, still lost as to what was going on here. There _was_ no reasonable explanation besides what I had already explained.

"Nothing." He began shuffling papers about. I was pretty sure he was doing it just to give himself something to do. "I have work that I need to finish," he said in way of dismissing me.

"No, Edward!" I said a little too loudly. I flinched at the volume, but refused to back down. "Tell me what you think this is. You already said I was after your money – which is bullshit – but what reasonable explanation is there?"

Edward seemed just as angry as I was. "It_ is_ the money, Bella!" He slapped his palms against the papers on his desk. "What else could it be?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Am I really supposed to believe that you're attracted to me? Do you know how many times I've heard that? From girls that needed homework help, a study partner, or a nurse looking for career advancement. Or guys who want to be my best friend because we have 'a lot in common'. It's all nonsense, Bella. You're no different." He took a deep breath. "Actually, I take that back. You might be worse because you're not just trying to take advantage of me, but my family as well."

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Edward thought that I was trying to use him because there was no feasible way that someone could like him for him. He thought that there had to be some egotistical motivation. He was wrong though. It was me who had proven to be unlovable, or even truly liked. In the end, I settled for stunned silence.

Edward, on the other hand, was genuinely nice guy. He was good. He loved his parents and his brother. He gave back to his community and was dedicated to his job and the well-being of others. Edward was a great catch to some deserving woman. A woman that really loved him, and while there would never be someone who loved him more than me, he would never see me as "the one."

I could see the moment Edward realized all that he had divulged without meaning to. His eyes widen and his cheeks took on pink blush. I had to spare him further embarrassment.

"I need to get home." I stood from the chair and tucked it back in. "Can I call you? I think we need to finish talking about this?"

"I don't see what for. The only conversation that we need to have will be in six months time."

He looked away from me and opened a file. I truly was dismissed this time. Nothing was resolved, but I wasn't sure if I expected things to be. The issue was too big, too life changing to be settled in just one night.

It was foolish of me, but I was hoping that he would take back what he said. Admit that he lashed out in anger and he didn't mean to say something so mean. But I guess that was Edward – say what you mean and mean what you say. Maybe that was a motto that intelligent people lived by.

"Good night, Edward." I didn't wait for the reply wouldn't come anyway.

I was a few steps away when I heard the crinkle of a paper bag.

**AN: Thanks for reading. A few quick things. Thanks for those who have rec'd this story, especially so early on. I'm not sure how many chapters this story is going to be since planning ahead is not really my forte. **

**I do have an account on TWCS, but I haven't really posted there. I find it kinda hard to navigate, but if enough people prefer to read it over there then I'll consider it.**

**A lot of readers are not fond of Alice (for obvious reasons). I frequently have Alice as a "foe" since a lot of stories have her as the annoying best friend. Her reasons for disliking Bella will eventually come to light. Whether she's justified or not will certainly be subjective.**

**I think I covered the most commonly asked questions. If I didn't, I'll try in the next chapter. See you next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: All things Twilight belong to SM (I always seem to forget this part). Thanks to everyone who is reading and/or reviewing. I know it's hard to read a WIP so early on so I really appreciate the love youse have given me. **

**On to the next chapter…**

"Let me ask you a question," I said to Emmett as we sat in Rosalie's garage. She was working on my truck that just wouldn't go away. Some "kind soul" recognized it as belonging to the Chief's daughter and had it towed to the police station. I hope I never found out who it was.

"Go ahead," he responded as he continued to stare at Rosalie's ass. She was bent over the hood tinkering with something and making a lot of noise.

I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "Focus."

"I am. I am." He finally looked at me with an evil grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Now don't make this into more than it is," I warned. "Did anything ever happen to Edward? Like with a girl?"

He gave me this dopey, confused look. "I already told you that you were his first."

"No, not like that," I huffed. "Like, was he ever…betrayed by a girl?" I felt like an idiot for asking, but it was still weighing on my mind.

His faced morphed into something of exasperation. I knew he was tired of talking about Edward, but he continuously indulged me. "Do you want a specific example or just in general?"

"Either."

He thought for a moment before answering. "I don't know, B. I mean, high school wasn't the easiest thing for him, but it's hard for everyone." I gave Mr. High School Popularity a disbelieving look. "What? I had my moments," he complained. "Anyway, like I was saying, he hard it pretty tough. Aside from being smartest guy in schools, he was also younger than everyone is his class. There was also the acne, braces, and glasses."

"Yeah, but a lot of teenagers go through that. What about relationships?"

"You want to know if he was played by a chick?" I nodded. "Possibly. He was never one to talk about his personal life and it wasn't like I ever asked."

I figured as much. Edward wasn't the type to sit around with his brother discussing the cute girl who sat three seats to the left. However, I was questioning how much I really knew about him. In the past, Edward was never the one to be led by emotions. Rather, he looked at the facts and probable outcomes. If something didn't make sense, he would obsessively intellectectuallize the problem at hand. I would prefer that over how he was handling things now. I don't think I knew this Edward at all.

"Bella," Rosalie called me over.

I got up and stretched. My back was killing me and I needed a nap.

"Damn," Emmett hissed, still sitting down.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"It's like you started showing over night," Rosalie answered coming to stand next to me. "How far along are you now?"

"Three months. Thirteen weeks to be exact." I looked down at my belly. It was definitely protruding; I noticed before, but it was the first time someone else pointed it out. "Does it look bad?"

"No, it's adorable," she cooed. "Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No. The doctor said about twenty weeks." I began rubbing my belly.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Well, at first I wanted a boy since girls can be very catty, but with the way Edward's acting I'm not so sure anymore," I joked.

"Edward's a prick!" Rosalie covered her mouth once she let that slip. "I'm sorry, Em. I know he's your brother and everything, but…" We glared at her until Emmett could hold it anymore. His tight grimace was becoming a smile he was fighting to prevent. Eventually we both began laughing.

"It's all right, babe," he assured her. "He is." I nodded in agreement.

"You guys suck," she huffed. "Come on, Bella. I gotta show you something under the hood."

"Ugh," I groaned. "Just kill it already. I'll look the other way if you want to put sugar in the gas tank."

She laughed. "I'll get to the point then. It should run for now, but the next time it stalls it might be the last. I suggest selling it for parts…_if_ you ever found a buyer."

"I hate that fucking thing," I muttered.

"If you want, you can keep it here until you decide what you want to do with it. Personally, I wouldn't drive it, but it's up to you."

"It would be great if I could keep it here. In the meantime, who wants to drive me around tomorrow?" I asked cheerily.

"Where are you working tomorrow?" Emmett asked, disapprovingly. After two weeks of having two jobs, Emmett decided that he didn't like it. He thought two jobs were pushing my already overworked body to its limits. I was extremely tired all the time, but no one ever said being pregnant was easy.

"The diner. Tomorrow is my day off from the grocery store."

"When are you quitting that job?"

"When I take maternity leave from the store. I need the money, Em, so please let's not get into this again."

"You know I can help you, right? Tell me what you need."

"Stop. Just stop." I held my hand up. "I don't need your money and you don't help by making those offers." He was hurt, that much was obvious. "Look, I appreciate it, you know I do, but I need to do this on my own." I sighed at the need to have this conversation with him. "I need to show everyone, not just Edward, that I can do this. I need my father to realize that I'm capable of taking responsibility for my own actions."

"You know I just want to help, Bella."

"I know, Emmett, I know. You can help me by giving rides to work." I tried to lighten the mood. "Picking me up at two in the morning when I get weird cravings. Rubbing me feet when they become balloons," I laughed. "Be my Lamaze coach."

"Jesus, that sounds like a lot of work," he chuckled. "I'd rather just throw money at you." I punched his shoulder, before he grabbed and hugged me tightly. "My little Bella is having a baby," he stated as if he just found out.

"Rosalie, come get your boyfriend before I knee him in the balls."

"C'mon, stud muffin. You're supposed to take me to dinner." She dragged him off of me.

"Don't do anything crazy, kids," I warned playfully. "This town isn't big enough for two scandalous pregnancies."

**~ Now how about I'd be the last voice that you hear tonight ~**

I stared at my bare belly in the bathroom mirror. I didn't know if it was because someone other than myself noticed the bump, but it suddenly appeared bigger than it should. I had no idea when I should have started showing or how big or small, but my belly roundness seemed…advanced.

Maybe it was just in my head. Nothing else about me seemed bigger. Even my boobs didn't look different. They were sore, but not bigger.

There was a knock at the front door that had to be Rosalie. When I left them yesterday, I wasn't sure who would be taking me to work, but since Emmett had a key it had to be her. She was half an hour early, though.

"I'm coming," I yelled when there was another knock. "Emmett should have just given you the key," I said while opening the door. I stared at my visitors, my mouth slightly ajar.

"Hey, sweetie. Can we come in?" Esme asked. Carlisle kept his hands in his pockets.

"Um…yeah, sure. Sorry. Come in," I stuttered. I opened the door wider to let them in. They had been in my home countless times, but seeing them here now was shocking to say the least. I followed them into the living room.

"Not to be rude or anything, but what are you guys doing here?" I asked curiously. I hadn't seen them since that day and no contact had been attempted by either party.

"We overheard Emmett and Rosalie discussing plans to pick you up for work so we volunteered," Carlisle explained.

"And we thought it was a good opportunity to talk to you," Esme added. "It's long overdue talk," she sighed.

I began fidgeting where I sat. I wasn't ready for this chat. I knew we had to have it eventually, but I wasn't prepared for it today.

"We want to start off by apologizing for Edward's behavior," Carlisle began. "That's not the way we raised our sons and I hope you already know that." I nodded in confirmation. "It was uncalled for, and frankly, embarrassing for him and the rest of the family." Except for Alice, I commented in my head. She was probably still gloating about it.

"I went to see him at work the other day," I revealed. They did not bother hiding their surprise. "He apologized for the way he acted, but not what he said."

Esme huffed in anger. "I love that boy – everyone knows that – but he can say the dumbest things for someone so bright." She began muttering to herself. Even Carlisle looked at her oddly. "I hope you don't believe those things he said."

"Emmett already told me I shouldn't, but I don't know." I shrugged. "I mean, I never gave any indication that I was Emmett's friend for the money, so I don't know where he got that idea. Maybe it was a thought that was festering, but never spoken out loud." I got off the couch and started pacing. "I never even spent that much time with him for him to think so poorly of me."

"Maybe that's the problem – Edward doesn't really know you like we do," Carlisle cut in. "Don't get me wrong, it doesn't excuse the way he spoke with you and he shouldn't be easily forgiven. Maybe if he had gotten to know you before, your character wouldn't be questioned."

"I guess, but…" I shrugged again. "He is older than me and Emmett and a lot smarter so it wasn't like we had so much in common." They shared a look. "What?"

"Emmett said you would do this," Carlisle commented.

"Do what?"

"Defend Edward," Esme answered.

"I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that -"

"Bella, look," he cut me off, "we know how you feel about Edward. We're pretty observant," he chuckled. "That doesn't mean that you should allow him to treat you so horribly. Especially since you're carrying his child – our grandchild," he beamed at the last part.

His smile was infectious. "So you believe me than?" I asked.

"Oh, course we do, Bella. We're so happy," Esme gleamed.

"Really?" I asked skeptically. "You're okay with me getting impregnated by your son? Your successful, older, doctor son?" I asked again for clarification.

"The situation isn't ideal, but we know you'll make a wonderful mother and when Edward gets his head out of his ass, he'll make a great father."

"You think so?" I asked shyly.

"Of course, dear." Esme grabbed my hand. "And we'll be here if you need help. Then there's your dad and Sue. You're not in this by yourself." It didn't escape my notice that she didn't mention Renee. "If you ever need _anything_, I hope you'll come to us. We know a thing or two about babies."

**~ Maybe you'll let me borrow your heart~**

The shift at the dinner was going pretty smoothly. It wasn't overly taxing as Emmett had always assumed. The only downside was that my feet were constantly aching. Between the grocery store and the diner, the only time they were up was when I was sleeping. I needed to call in Emmett's services soon.

As I returned from one of my many bathroom breaks, I spotted Edward sitting in a booth in my section. I spied him going over the menu. It was pretty pointless, since he always ordered the same thing – a grilled chicken, whole wheat wrap with balsamic vinaigrette on the side.

He had a severe look on his face that made me even more hesitant to approach him than for the usual reason. I saw his lips moving as he talked to himself. It was something that he only did when he was extremely aggravated and had no other outlet. Honestly, he looked a little nuts.

He already had a cup of coffee in front of him so there was no real rush. I continued to watch until it began to feel stalkerish. With a stroke of brilliance, I dashed to the kitchen and placed a special order with Tyler.

Through the glass window on the kitchen door, I watched another waitress take Edward's order.

"Hey, Sara," I called out when she entered the kitchen with his order. "Hold on to that for a bit. I've already got something coming for him."

"Sure," she agreed, but was clearly confused as to why.

"Thanks. I'll tell you when to put it up."

Fifteen minutes later, I exited the clouded kitchen and headed toward Edward's table. He was still clearly upset which made me hesitate and almost trip over my own feet.

I placed the hot circular tray in front of Edward. I saw as his eyes widened in surprise before he picked his head up. Simultaneously, his eyes narrowed when he saw it was me.

"I didn't order this," he sneered, looking back at the white pizza in front of him.

Unlike in his office, I didn't ask before sitting. In a way, the diner was kind of like my office. I wasn't as graceful as I hoped to be. Even worse, with this new belly, I didn't have much room between myself and the table. When did the space get so small?

"I know," I stuttered, suddenly feeling foolish for a plan that sounded wonderful not half hour ago. "It's on the house. I work here, too, now," I offered as way of explanation. If he was unaware, he didn't let on.

"When…uh…I'm having a bad day pizza helps me think it through. My dad, too. It's always been our thing. I got Emmett on board, too." I shrugged. "I know white pizza is your favorite. It's not on the menu or anything, but Tyler is going to culinary school next year so he likes to practice making different things. I asked him to make that for you. You looked upset."

He continued to stare at me as if he didn't know whether to berate or ignore me. "It's work related. I doubt you'd be able to comprehend."

Well if that wasn't offensive…

"Not about the hospital, no, but I think I know a thing or two about frustrations at work." I was working two jobs for Christ's sake. I may not have been a doctor, but I knew about hard work and long hours.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now – probably never will be – but I'm here if you need to talk to someone."

"I don't think so." It was a dismissive comment and I knew how to take a hint.

"Right." I was embarrassed and ready to leave with my tail between my legs. "I'll have your order added to the queue." I tried to slide out of the booth as smoothly as possible. I had to maneuver my body at awkward angles to avoid bumping the table with my belly. I was making a spectacle of myself as I got up. "Hope your day gets better."

I found Sara in the back and asked her to take Edward's table for the duration of his stay. I avoided looking at him at all cost. However, at times I felt the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. He was probably hoping that he could make me magically disappear.

**~ And I won't stop until you believe it ~**

"Hey, can I talk to you really quick?" Rosalie asked from somewhere behind me. It was one of those rare days that we got to hang out together without Emmett. He had a "family engagement" which was code for Edward and Alice both hanging around the house. He was feeling guilty for spending so much time with Rosalie and he didn't want them to feel abandoned at such critical times in their lives. Whatever helped him sleep at night. It was as if Rosalie and I were sequestered during this time.

"Sure. Lay it on me." I said while I dug my head in the fridge looking for something to eat…again.

"I don't really want to talk to your ass," she laughed.

"Well, you didn't bring any pizza," I whined as I shut the fridge door with empty hands.

"You said you didn't want any! And you just had a huge Cesar salad," she said defensively.

"I know," I sighed dejectedly. "It's this stupid diet the doctor put me on. I'm miserable. I want pizza, and fried chicken, and cake, and Doritos."

"So have it. You're pregnant, not fat."

"I'm not?" I challenged. "Look at this." I lifted up my shirt and exposed my belly. "I should _not_ be this big yet." Truthfully, I had no idea how much I should be showing, but this just seemed ridiculous. Even if it wasn't fat, I felt it.

"Oh, shut up." She waved her hand at me. "Even if you are gaining weight, you're supposed to. If this isn't the best possible excuse to eat absolutely everything then there never will be. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Eat it."

"Yeah, well, that's not what the doctor says." I sat down on the chair across from her. "So what's up?" I asked, getting back on track.

"Okay. Don't get offended alright?" she began nervously. "Emmett is really…loyal to you."

I recognized her look. It was a look I had received plenty of times before when asked the same question.

"You want to know if I ever slept with Emmett," I finished. Rosalie blanched, but nodded. "No. We've never slept together. We really are just best friends." I hesitated before continuing. "We was my first kiss, though, but we were young."

Rosalie recovered quickly. "Oh, thank God," she breathed. "It just…would have been weird, you know? And I already knew about the kiss; he told me that week ago." She moved closer as if to whisper although we were the only ones here. "How many people have you actually had sex with?" She did whisper.

"Including Edward?" I asked. I took her shrug as a yes and held up the appropriate fingers.

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I became defensive.

"Oh, no no no. I didn't mean it like that. I was just surprised." The silence was short, but still awkward before she spoke again. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure." I wanted her to know that I wasn't really offended.

"Why Edward? I mean, I guess he's cute in that nerdy way that's trendy now, but his behavior leaves a lot to be desired. I have to assume that there had to be something that made you fall in love with him in the first place."

"This Edward? Is not my Edward," I clarified. "The Edward I fell in love with was rational and never let emotions rule him. When he didn't have his head in a book, he was really cool to be around. I don't know…why he's being like this. I have my suspicions, but that's it."

"Then what was it about him before?" she asked again, her voice became softer.

"One of his best qualities is that he embraces who he is. Edward is – undeniably – a nerd and he wears that label proudly. He never once hid his intelligence to seem cool or more acceptable. Do you know how many grades he's skipped and never let himself be intimidated by the older kids?" I didn't let her guess. "Every challenge he's been faced with, he's not only met, but exceeded. He's the kind of person people wish they had the confidence to be."

Edward was the type of person _I_ wanted to be. He knew what he brought to the table and how he could use it to help other people. Maybe not _me_, but others.

"Most days I stayed at their house after school until my dad got out of work and picked me up. There was this one time that me and Emmett got into this fight –I don't even remember what it was about. We were, like, eight. Anyway, I'm stuck there, pissed at Emmett, but he's the one who helped me with my math homework. It was long division with remainders that week." I laughed at how devastating my problems seemed back then. "I start crying at the numbers in front of me because I'll never fucking understand what the importance of remainders are." I turn my whole body to Rosalie. "Just so you know, even at that time I had it bad for Edward. Head over heels," I laughed. "He walks in during my mini breakdown with his backpack slung over one shoulder." He was always the coolest thing in my world. "He sits down next to me and asks me what's wrong. I told him his brother was a jerk and math was stupid. He said that he couldn't do anything about Emmett, but he could help me with my homework."

Stupidly, I began crying. It wasn't just the hormones like I usually claimed. This time it was the loss of the innocence of past times and a friendship that could have been. "He sat with me and helped me work out all ten division problems. Then he listened to me list all the reasons why Emmett was the worst person on the planet." I wiped away tears and smiled sadly at my friend. "He walked me to the police station so I didn't have to wait for my father to come get me." I looked at my new friend, hoping that she understood just a little bit better. "_That's_ the Edward I fell in love with."

**AN: As I was writing this I realized that I mention food **_**a lot**_**. I wish I had some deep philosophical reason behind it, but the simple truth is that I just love food and apparently so do my characters. Another thing I wanted to point out before someone decides to leave a review about it is that that these characters, particularly Bella and Emmett, don't speak grammatically correct. So if you see "Me and…" or "…real bad…" it's supposed to be like that. **

**In conclusion, I hope you liked the chapter and I hope you feel inclined to leave a review **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. Work and illness was holding me down.**

**I've been asked about the length and schedule of this story. To that I say…I have no idea. I've tried going the outline route, but that doesn't work for me. I have scenes and plot points, but that's about it. I write when I can and that's all I can promise. On with the story…**

**All things Twilight belong to SM.**

"Thanks for the ride," I said as I jumped into Rosalie's car. "The truck wouldn't even start last night. I might take a bat to it just for the hell of it."

"Don't do it just yet," she warned. "I might have something for you. This guy I go to school with is selling a car he just fixed up. Cosmetically, it needs work done, but it runs pretty good for its year." She was looking at the road and waiting for the car to pass before making the left. "It's a twelve year old car, but it's still an upgrade from the truck."

"How much?" I asked skeptically. I had a little saved up, but I doubt it was enough for a new-to-me car.

"He was asking for eighteen hundred, but I told him about you and he said he'd knock it to fourteen. I think for all the work that was put into it, it's not too bad a price. I test drove it for you and I think it's worthwhile investment."

"Yeah, but…I don't know. If I buy the car then it would be a good chuck of the money I've already saved," I reasoned.

"Well," she drew out. "I thought about that, too. Didn't Esme say you could go to them if you needed anything? Well, you need this."

"I can't ask them to buy me a car!"

"No, not buy. Ask them to lend you the money. My friend won't take payments, but Esme and Carlisle will. I don't see how they can say no. You need a new car. Even if the truck wasn't on its last leg, you couldn't put a car seat in it anyway."

"I don't know, Rose. If I took money from them wouldn't that prove Edward right?"

"No." She sucked her teeth. "You're not just taking it; you're going to give it back. Besides, you're asking Esme and Carlisle, not Edward. It's none of his business what his parents do with their money." She parked in front of the building I pointed to. "And I have something I've been meaning to ask?" She put the car in park. "Why the hell is he leaving at home with his parents?"

"He's saving enough to be able to put half down on a house," I answered easily.

"Yeah, but doesn't he have a butt load of money saved already? He's a doctor for Christ's sake," she countered.

"He has some, but he once told me that he pays a lot in malpractice insurance, or something. Then there's his other bills and stuff. He has a trust fund but it's not _millions _or anything. Not even one million. Emmett's is about three hundred thousand, so maybe Edward's is the same. I don't know."

"Holy shit!" Rosalie looked at me wide-eyed. "That's what Emmett's getting?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Does that impress you?" I was suddenly wary of this girl in front of me and for once, I could possibly see where Edward was coming from.

"Oh, calm down, Bella. I'm not with Emmett for his money. I didn't even know he had a trust fund."

"I know." I believed her easily, relaxing quickly. I was an idiot for even assuming. "It's not like he flaunts it. As a matter of fact, he needs a new pair of sneakers so you should tell him to get on that."

I watched as professionally dressed men and women entered the building we were parked in front of. I should have changed out of my yoga pants and sneakers.

"So this is it?" Rosalie asked as she looked up the ten story building. "Very fancy." She turned to look at me. "You're probably gonna get kicked out."

"Probably," I confirmed. "Are you sure you're okay with picking me up? Hopefully, I shouldn't be that long. Even shorter if I do get kicked out," I snorted.

"I'll be fine. I haven't really explored Port Angles since I moved here. Good luck up there." She pointed to the building. "You're gonna need it."

"Thanks," I sighed. "I'll let you know what happened when you get back."

**~Cause you might mess around and find out all your dreams come true with me~**

I hugged Jasper tightly. It was the first time I had seen him since the engagement announcement. We had talked once on the phone, but between my work schedule and his relationship with the wicked witch we hadn't had time to meet up.

We pulled back at the same time. "You look absolutely beautiful, Bella. Pregnancy suits you."

"Please," I laughed, grabbing his hand. I led us to my living room so we could sit. I tried to minimize the time I spent on my feet when I wasn't at work. "I'm a whale." We sat side by side on the sofa.

"No. You're glowing and if you don't mind my saying, you're more curvaceous." He wagged his eyebrows playfully.

"Yeah right. Look at my boobs! Shouldn't they be bigger?" I had no idea why I was so obsessed with my tits.

Unabashedly, Jasper looked and seemed to analyze their size. "They're bigger, Bella. Trust me," he commented confidently.

"Aww. Thanks." I blushed a little and made a mental note to check them out later. "So what brings you to my humble abode?"

We had caught up during our secret phone conversations. God forbid Alice found out! He had led the typical college life with the typical college experiences. He did well for himself, earning a degree in history and one in education. Jasper had accepted a job as a teacher at Forks High, but I suspected there was more behind the story and Alice played a big part.

"Do I need a reason to visit one of my very best friends?" he joked.

"A best friend you haven't spoken to in years?" I jested back. He looked honestly ashamed. "I'm joking, Jasper. I'm not holding that against you. We lost touch – it happens."

He let out a deep sigh. "Can I be honest with you?"

"I hope you would be."

"Alice and I got into a fight this morning and I just needed to get away. You know we moved back with her parents, right?" I nodded. "It's only temporary until we save for a small apartment."

Alice was another one with a trust fund and I was going to bring it up, but I wasn't sure if Jasper knew about it. However, just like Emmett and Edward, she wouldn't have access to it until she was twenty five.

"It must be a full house, huh? How's that working out for you?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's not so bad. As you know, I already knew her parents and brothers so that wasn't a problem. Alice, herself, is the problem," he confessed.

I wanted to tell Jasper what kind of person his fiancé really was, but truthfully, I had no idea. She was nasty to me, but I had no idea how she was with other people. Whatever her issue was, was strictly something personal against me.

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why her? Why Alice? I mean, she knew that we dated in high school. Didn't either of you find it odd?" Sloppy seconds, I added mentally. Jasper was anything but sloppy, though.

He didn't answer right away and for all I knew he was formulating some lie to appease me.

"Does it bother you that we're together?" he asked instead.

"Not in the way that you're probably thinking," I corrected him off the bat, making it clear that I was _not_ jealous of Alice. "Your life is your own and we haven't seen each other in so long. It's just that Alice is so mean and you deserve better than her."

There was another long stretch of silence before he completely changed that topic.

"So you and Edward, huh?"

"No. No me and Edward. Just me and Edward's baby," I clarified.

He moved closer next to me until our knees were touching. "You ever wonder how things would have turned out if we'd have made different choices?"

"All the time," I agreed.

Before I could react Jasper's lips were on mine. They were soft and pliant like I remembered back in high school. Knowing it was wrong, I kissed him back. His tongue was soft and wet. I could taste the peppermint he must have eaten before he got here. It was the kind of kiss that I needed and I could feel the love behind it. But it was the wrong kind of love and we both knew it.

Reluctantly, I pulled away. This was so wrong and as much as I disliked Alice, I couldn't do this to her.

We kept our foreheads together. "Things would have been so easy between us," Jasper said softly.

"I know. I thought about that, too, but we can't help who we fall in love with." I pulled my head back, but grabbed his hand. "Do you love Alice?"

He was hesitant. "Yes…maybe." He looked so distraught. "I do…I do. But she can be so intense sometimes. One minute things are great and the next she's ranting and raving about something. She's not the girl I met and fell in love with when we were in school. I don't know what it is about being back home that brings out the worst in her. She was so happy about it when we began discussing it. I don't know what changed."

I had a few ideas.

"I think you need to think about what you want. If it's Alice, then you need to try to make it work. Talk it out – figure out what the problem really is."

"Did you always love Edward? Even when we were going out?"

I nodded, deciding not to lie to him. "But I loved you, too, Jasper. It may not have been what I felt for Edward, but please don't think I never felt anything for you. Besides Emmett, you were one of my best friends in high school." I paused. "Did you ever love me?"

"I did. I still do, but I'm not _in love_ with you." He paused, looking for the right words. "I want to be offended about Edward, but I think I understand. Alice is…Alice is an incredible person with great qualities."

"You don't have to convince me." I looked him straight in the eyes.

"I'm not. I know that things aren't great between you two, but it would be nice if it was." He was starting to sound like Emmett.

"Alice has a problem with me for reasons unknown, but you shouldn't let that interfere in your relationship. If Edward felt an iota for me of what I felt for him, Alice wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. Focus on you two and let the rest work itself out."

We sat together in comfortable silence. As he pondered my words, I stewed over the fact that I was, indeed, slightly jealous of Alice. She had a man – a good man – that loved her and she was ruining with her own stupidity. If I wasn't convinced that Edward was my soul mate, I would have snatched Jasper up from under her nose.

"Can we keep the kiss between us?" he asked.

"What kiss?" I winked at him. I wasn't out to destroy his relationship and I could recognize a moment of weakness better than anyone. It was a pretty good kiss, though.

"Go home and talk to Alice and while you're there put in a good word for me to Edward. I am carrying his baby, after all."

**~Maybe you'll let me borrow your heart~**

"How'd it go?" Rosalie asked. I was on speaker phone and I could _hear_ Emmett acting like an idiot, yelling that his nephew was alive. He was convinced that I was having a boy because of my size. Apparently, Esme was huge when she was pregnant with him and Edward.

"Can you please tell your boyfriend that the baby was always alive?" I snapped at Rosalie. I knew that Emmett was just excited, but he needed to work on his wording when he was expressing said excitement.

The noise on the other end became suddenly quiet before Emmett became loud and clear.

"Bella." His voice no longer held the exuberance it had seconds ago. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I know the baby was always alive. I was just excited to know that you finally heard it."

I breathed deeply, feeling like an asshole for getting so emotional over something so stupid.

"I know, Em. I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean it like that." I groaned and rubbed my hand harshly over my face. "I'm just tired and in a pissy mood. I can't get off work tonight, and I'm acting like a dick."

"I know, sweetie. Don't even stress it." He was too forgiving. He was also holding back what he really wanted to say about my job at the diner. He still hated it, but refrained from expressing his opinion on a daily basis. "Are you still up for meeting up tonight, or do you want to go another night?"

Tonight was the opening night of the county fair held in Port Angeles. Emmett and I had made it a tradition to go opening day. When we were younger either his parents or my dad would take us. When we got older and were trusted enough to go alone, we borrowed his parent's car. Even now, when we both had more important things going on in life, we still made it a point to go the first day it opened.

"Of course!" I answered, almost insulted. "I can probably only go on three rides, but I'll still be there."

"Awesome. Are we picking you up?"

"No," I sighed. I didn't want to make the drive alone, but I didn't want them waiting around for me either. "I'm going to borrow my dad's friend's car for a couple days while he's away. I'll head over there when I'm done."

"You finally gonna put the truck to rest?" he asked, laughing at the ridiculous comments Rose was making in the background regarding my horrible truck.

"Yup. I can't take the chance anymore."

I heard rustling and a few low curse words before Rosalie was back on the line.

"While tonight should be great fun, that's not why I called. How'd the doctor's appointment go?" she asked again.

"It was _insane_. Like a good insane." I had a scheduled doctor's appointment earlier in the day and it was the first time I had heard the baby's heart beat. The equipment hadn't been available during previous appointments. "It was just…insane," I laughed. "I heard my baby's heart beating!" I squealed. Rosalie began squealing with me.

"Wow," she began wistfully. "I can even imagine how that could make you feel – to finally _hear_ the life you created. God, I think I'm about to cry," she laughed.

Hearing the baby's heart beat was actually bittersweet. It was an amazing step in my pregnancy progression that I didn't want to do alone. Emmett had apologized for not being able to make it to the appointment, but it wasn't as if I could actually be mad at him. In reality, I wanted Edward there with me to share the moment. He should have been there to hear the life that _we_ created together.

"Give me that phone," Em grumbled loudly. "No more talking to Bella and getting all baby crazed."

"Calm down, babe," she chided him. "You're not gonna catch me poking holes through condoms. I'm just excited for Bella."

"Yeah, Emmett." I jumped on the Rosie bandwagon. "Just because she plays with cars doesn't mean she can't be girlie."

"Christ!" I heard him groan over the line. He was suddenly loud in my ear again. "You better not be having a girl because I can't take any more estrogen in my life. You need to have a boy that I could sit back and watch football with while we down beers like water."

It was sad to know that Emmett wanted to make plans with the baby while its own father wanted no part of anything. I swallowed back the sadness and continued as if it didn't bother me.

"By the time the baby would be old enough to drink beer you'll be old and not cool enough to hang out with. We're gonna be old farts – not hip with the times," I laughed.

"Speak for yourself!" he shouted in my ear, sounding more than mildly insulted.

"When do you find out what you're having?" Rosalie asked.

"Next month!" I answered. My excitement was building up again. "I scheduled it already. I…um…I'm going to ask Edward if he wants to come with me. Do you think that's stupid?" I asked nervously.

It was quiet on the other side until Emmett finally spoke. "No, Bells, that's not stupid," he responded softly. "And if says no then he's the stupid one, but it'll be my gain because then I can go."

I felt a lump form in my throat and tears in my eyes and I knew it was time to end the call before I caused a scene in the break room.

"I have to go guys; my lunch is almost over. I'll meet you by the picnic tables tonight. I'm guessing around eight or so."

**~Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free~**

Why had I agreed to meeting them at the picnic tables? The picnic tables that were surrounded by the most amazing smelling foods? Sugar, salt, and grease danced to most enticing danced that my nose seemed to follow flawlessly.

It was about eight thirty and Emmett was nowhere in sight. I would have called him…if I hadn't forgotten to charge my phone at work. I waited another ten minutes before temptation finally became too much. I had been exceptionally good with the diet the doctor had put me on during my first trimester. One funnel cake wouldn't be the end all be all.

After getting my deliciously fried dough I sat back down, managing only two glorious bites before I heard my name. I popped my head up, like a deer caught in headlights, to see six people staring back at me. Three of them looked nervous, while one looked smug.

"I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail," Emmett explained, looking between me and the crowd. I heard him, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward and the cute female by his side.

"Yeah…uh…," I tore my eyes away before I became choked up. "It died. I thought we…" I trailed off knowing that Emmett knew what I was asking.

"We…uh…ran into-" He was cut off by Alice.

"Bella, I don't think you've met Kate, Edward's date. She's a nurse at the hospital." She smiled evilly at me, knowing how deep it hurt.

Kate was beautiful. Strawberry blonde with a sweet smile. And a nurse to boot. She had an amazing body that made me feel like I weighed a ton. She was the type of woman I always knew I would lose Edward to. Beauty and brains.

She extended her arm out to me which I took gracefully. "It's nice to meet you." Even her voice was beautiful.

"You, too. Hi, Edward." I gave him a small wave and diverted my attention elsewhere.

"You know, Bella," Alice continued," that's probably why you've gained so much weight. You need to watch what you eat while you're pregnant. Right, Kate?" she asked the clearly uncomfortable looking nurse.

"Um…it is important to eat healthy when pregnant," Kate stammered.

"She's a _nurse_, Bella. She knows what she's talking about."

I saw Jasper's face twist in disgust as he removed his hand from Alice's. He took a step towards me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "It was good to see you, but I have to use the bathroom. Have a good night." His voice held a gently sternness that I knew Alice had caused. He was upset, that much was evident, but I knew he was reigning it in while saying bye.

However, he stomped away from the group. Alice's previous smugness was wiped clean and shock appeared just as quickly and maybe even hurt. I had to fight to hide my own smile as Alice tried to save face. She was embarrassed and unsure of what to do. I wanted to feel bad for her, but she constantly doing and saying things to ridicule me. It was nice to see someone, other than Emmett, not stand for her behavior.

"Having a good time?" I asked the rest of the group, trying to relieve the tension.

"Yeah, we went on a few rides," Rose answered, toeing the dirt with her sneaker.

I felt bad for her. Aside from Edward who shifted on his feet, she looked the most uncomfortable. She knew the situation and I knew it put her between a rock and a hard place. She was my friend and wanted to defend me, but at the same time she was still trying to make a good impression on Emmett's family.

"Cool." I mentally cringed. I bet Kate didn't use words like cool. She probably had an extensive vocabulary and used words that I couldn't pronounce properly.

The awkwardness was palpable and I wanted to put myself out of this misery.

"Well, it was nice running into you guys. I'm meeting some friends so I should get going." I saw Emmett open his mouth to protest, but I shook my head quickly. "I'll call you later, Em," I said, with wide eyes hoping he understood to keep it moving.

"Sure. I'll wait for your call," he replied pointedly.

I watched as the four of them walked off. Emmett and Rose walked behind Edward and his date. More than once they would turn back to look me over. I was able to relax when they became lost in the crowd.

The funnel cake in front of me no longer held any appeal to me, but I continued to pick at it.

The night had not gone as I hoped it would. While I couldn't ride anything worth wasting tickets on, I was looking forward to hanging out with my two best friends. I needed the stress relief. Everything was getting to me and it was taking a physical toll on me. I no longer had morning sickness, but I still had bouts of nausea and fatigue. On particularly crazy days, my vision would become a blurry mess.

However, I didn't want to put Emmett and Rosalie in the position of having to choose. Although the original plan was for the three of us to hang out, I would just hold them back from really having fun. I hoped that Rosalie was earning herself some brownie points with the family tonight.

After another half hour of sitting and enjoying the occasional breeze, I was ready to leave. My funnel cake remained mostly untouched and slightly hard. Though I was ready to heave myself off the increasingly uncomfortable wooded bench, my body just wouldn't let that happen. I was tired and achy and ready to cry. Before I could throw myself a proper pity party, someone came to stand in front of me.

Edward stared down at me with his hands in his pockets. His nervous and awkward stance was a welcome change for the hostility that always greeted me.

"Did…um…your friends not get here yet?" he asked as he sat on the bench opposite me.

I glared at him, giving him my most condescending look. "You know there were no friends, Edward." I looked back down to my powdery mess in front of me. He really must enjoy the constant humiliation that he bestowed upon me with his presence.

"But you told Emmett -" I cut him off before he could finish.

"I told Emmett that so he didn't feel bad about having to choose to stay with me or ditch his family. I'm not exactly the horrid bitch you make me out to be," I finished sarcastically.

"I would never refer to a female in that regard," he responded, completely missing the point. I thought it best not to respond. However, another bout of awkward silence ensued before he made it worse. "And some would argue that you _are_ part of the family," he mumbled.

"You're not one of them, are you?" I asked rhetorically, causing him to shift uncomfortably.

"You know, Alice was right about your eating habits while pregnant. It's important for you…" I cut him off again, growing more agitated.

"I _know_, Edward. Ask your brother and his girlfriend about my eating habits. They're im-fucking-peccable." I huffed out a breath. "I have to go. Have fun and tell Emmett I'll call him."

With my hand on my protruding belly and the other on the table, I was able to heave myself off the bench.

"I heard Emmett and Rosalie talking earlier," Edward began when I was a few feet away from the table. I stopped and turned to face him. "They said you heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time." I nodded my confirmation. I waited for him to continue, but it didn't seem as if he was.

"It was a strong heart beat. A strong Cullen heart beat."

**AN: Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So hey. I'm back. I'm still alive. I wasn't going to say anything here, but I guess I kind of owe an explanation. For awhile there, I was considering leaving the fandom altogether (I had a lot of different things going on). Fics weren't really doing it for me anymore. I know it would have been shitty, but I was either going to leave the story unfinished or pull it. Slowly, I started to rethink things. I was on the fence about what to do. So what happens? Edroar finally updated after 2 freaking years! It was like a sign that I had to keep going. Reading that update proved to me that I am definitely not done with the fandom or this story.**

**I received a few messages from some readers asking me if I was going to continue the story. I meant to respond to them, but had no idea what to say. But now I say this, thank you for your support of me and the story when I, myself, couldn't provide it. It's these types of readers that actually make the time and effort actually worth it. It's a huge boost to know that someone out there actually wants to read the words that you put down. Thanks a whole bunch. (This was a VERY long AN)**

**On to the story…As always all things Twilight belong to SM and my words aren't beta'd (for reasons unknown…)**

"Thanks for coming," I said to Rosalie for the third time since we arrived at the hospital.

She sighed playfully next to me. "Like I'd say no to this."

"I know. Are you _sure_ that you didn't have class today? You shouldn't have skipped out for me."

I could practically hear her eye roll. "No, Isabella. I don't have any classes for the rest of the week and I don't work until three today. I feel like I'm explaining myself to my mother."

"Sorry," I apologized. I was trying to relax but today was a big day and while I loved Rose something fierce, she wasn't the person who I imagined accompanying me to the visit. I felt awful for feeling like that, but it was something that I just couldn't help. She was the absolute best to me during these last few months and, honestly, I wasn't sure I could have done this without her support.

"Did Emmett say anything to you?" I asked as I watched the clock.

"Nothing that he hasn't already said to you," she sighed. "I feel like I'm being put in the middle of this."

"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to feel like that. I've talked to him and right now I need to give him time to stew." Just like his other siblings, Emmett was pissed off at me. His reason, though, took me completely by surprise when he brought them up. Emmett was tired of me making decisions for him when it concerned his family and me. Apparently, I was continuously taking away his right to choose what he wanted to do and who he wanted to spend time with. The last straw was making him leave with Edward and Alice when he had no intention of staying with them in the first place.

As he yelled at me, he told me that, had I allowed him to get two words in that night, he would have been able to explain that he was going to ride a coaster with Jasper then we could be on our way.

"You know he loves you, right?" Rose asked. I nodded without removing my stare from the ticking wall clock. "I think he feels put in the middle, too," she continued.

"That's what I was trying to prevent," I muttered.

"Yeah, but – and don't mad at me for saying this – you're going about it the wrong way."

"Obviously," I snarked, which she thankfully ignored but did grace me with a pointed glare. "All I mean is that I'm trying to avoid putting Emmett in a spot where he'd have to choose between me and his family. I _thought_ I was doing the right thing," I clarified, before I managed to piss off my only friend at the moment.

"Did it ever occur to you that if he _was_ put in the position, he _would_ side with you?" She continued before I could answer. "You keep making it _them_ versus _you_ – his family versus you. However, what you don't seem to get is that Emmett doesn't see it that way. You're his family, too, so you're still putting him in the predicament of making a choice between family members."

I felt like an asshole. I hadn't really considered it like that. Once upon a time, with no second thoughts would have considered his family as mine. However, since the pregnancy came to light, I was feeling anything but familial.

I had no words to defend myself so we sat in silence. I watched the clock's second hand continuously pass the minute hand. My thoughts became warped as I found myself relating to the minute hand. It looked stationery, never moving as the other, smaller hand, flew by making progress. What others didn't see, though, was that the minute hand and I were making progress. It might have been slow going, but we were reaching our goal. Our achievements were just overshadowed by the fast movers.

_**~'Cause baby you're worth it~**_

"Shit, that's cold," I gasped as the technician spread the "warmed" gel over my humongous belly.

"Sorry." She shrugged a shoulder, but had nothing further to offer. "So what are you hoping for?" she asked instead. She beamed a mega watt smile before turning to the computer screen. I watched as she punched some information in before grabbing the wand.

"Um…" I replied brilliantly, unable to watch her and form coherent thoughts at the same time. "I don't really have a preference."

"Well, that's good," the technician commented. "Usually the daddy wants his little boy and mommy wants her little doll." She smiled easily as she adjusted some knobs on the machine. "Does daddy have a preference?"

"Uh…no, he doesn't," I answered uncomfortably. Rose squeezed my shoulder in understanding.

"Ok, mommy, let's find out what's cookin' in the oven."

I reached my hand out to Rose's needing the physical support of someone, besides myself, who was truly happy to be here. I was a nervous mess and finding out what I was carrying was going to make it that much more real.

I tried to make out whatever the lady was seeing, but I couldn't positively identify anything on the screen. Whatever I was staring at literally looked alien. Nothing looked even similar to a limb or facial feature. It did look like it was swimming, though, so there was that.

It seemed like everything happened so quickly after that. One minute I was squinting my eyes, hoping to make sense of the abstractness on the screen, the next it was as if someone dumped ice water over my head.

Once the words, "Congratulations, Ms. Swan, you're having…"left the technician's mouth all hell broke loose. Rosalie and I began crying, but I suspected it was for very different reasons.

___**'Cause I know that's a good place to start~**_

" Bella?" Charlie called out to me from the kitchen. Thankfully, he got to me before I sat down to put my shoes on. Getting up was proving to be a harder and harder task as my pregnancy progressed.

Although the tension between Charlie and I was dissipating a little bit every day, things were not exactly as pleasant as I wish they would be. I had yet to tell him the results of my ultrasound last week. It wasn't because of our strained relationship; I had yet to tell Emmett as well. I felt that it was only right for Edward to be the first to know. Aside from Rosalie, of course. I had sworn her to secrecy, and while I wanted to have complete faith in her, I was worried about her excitement causing her to slip in front of Emmett.

"Yeah?" I threw my flip flops on the ground, opting for ease instead of comfort.

"Do you remember Jake, Billy's nephew from the rez?"

I racked my brain for a Jake. Billy, I definitely knew, but Jake, not so much. The name sounded familiar, but I could put a face to the name. "Kind of, but eh…"

"He's older than you so you probably wouldn't really remember him, I guess. Anyway, Billy thinks that Jake might be interested in your truck. He's into restoring cars. He's going to talk to him and let me know."

Wow. I had a mental pause. That was really nice…of both of them. "Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah. I mean, nothing's guaranteed, but it seems like a decent opportunity to check out. You have nothing to lose since you don't even drive the truck anymore."

"Even still, though." I shrugged, at a loss for words. "I appreciate you even trying. You didn't have to do that."

I could see his cheeks tinge with the slightest pink. Charlie hated any kind of praise, whether it was deserved or not.

He cleared his throat with an uncomfortable cough.

"So where are you heading off to now? Work?"

"At the diner tonight, yes. Right now I'm heading to go talk to Carlisle and Esme."

He didn't hide his frown quickly enough for me to miss it. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course." I waved my hand dismissively. "I'm doing it on Rosalie's behalf," I lied.

I could see the tension leave his shoulders. "Rosalie. That's Emmett's girlfriend, right?"

I nodded. "They're great together. I won't be surprised if they get married one day."

He nodded in agreement, but didn't comment in that regard. "You've been spending a lot of time with her," he did mention.

"Well, when you only have two friends it's easy to divide your time between them, especially when the two are dating." It wasn't until after I finished did I realize it came out a bit harsher than I intended.

"Right…" He cleared his throat. "Do you…um…need a ride? I'm heading that way."

"Yeah, that'd be great." I smiled. It may not have been the white flag of surrender, but it was a pretty decent olive branch.

___**Maybe you'll let me borrow, your heart~**_

"Oh. Bella, honey. Hi!" Esme ushered me in. "Emmett and Rose just left."

"I know." I waved off her concern. "I was actually hoping to speak with you and Carlisle if you have the time." I gripped the strap of my bag tighter. With every passing second I was becoming more anxious. This wasn't exactly a social call. I kept practicing what I would say on the ride over here. More than once I caught Charlie giving me a weird look.

"Sure!" She grabbed my arm and led us to the kitchen. Carlisle was sitting at the table with a hardy looking sandwich halfway to his mouth. "We were just about to have lunch," she stated the obvious.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle greeted me, setting down his sandwich. I walked over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Pop. Finish eating. Don't let me stop you." I sat on the cushioned stool next to him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I can make you one if you want."

"No, thanks. I already ate at home and I have to watch my weight." I didn't miss the look that the married couple shared.

"Well, you know where the fridge is if you get hungry," Esme offered.

"So what brings you to out humble abode?" he asked before taking a hefty bite, making me chuckle. He was so proper and dignified out in public or work. At home, though, with family where he was comfortable, he had no shame. Case in point was the mayo that he greedily licked off his lip.

"She needs to speak with us about something," Esme informed him.

"I'll wait until you're done eating."

"No problem."

"So, Bella," Carlisle interjected between bites. "How'd your ultrasound go the other day?" He raised an eyebrow, daring me to deny that I knew the sex of his un-born grandchild.

"How'd you know I had an appointment?" I asked instead. I was ready to bitch Rosalie out if she let anything slip.

"You've had that appointment for a month," Esme cut in. "It was on _our_ calendar for crying out loud." I could see her eyes go wide as she leaned forward slightly. "What are you having?" she asked excitedly as she threw all pretenses out the window. In the corner of my eye, I could see Carlisle inch closer, too.

I smiled politely at them. "I'm sorry, but…I haven't told Edward yet and I think he should be the first to know."

Esme pouted playfully, but I knew she _really_ wanted to know. I found her excitement sweet and for a split second considered telling her, but I knew the right thing to do was tell Edward first.

"Don't mind her," Carlisle laughed. "She's been waiting to find out so she can start knitting little booties."

"Oh, please," she huffed at Carlisle before turning to me. "You have to hear him, Bella." Her voice became low, doing a terrible impression of Carlisle. "Esme, do you think my grandson is going to be a football, baseball, or basketball fan?"

I laughed as each of them tried to embarrass the other. It was good to see other people who were genuinely excited. However, at the same time, it hurt to know that the main person in all this refused to even consider that this pregnancy wasn't the end of the world. Was it selfish of me to want Edward to at least be curious as to what the potential for fatherhood could be?

I spent another fifteen minutes sitting around the table, not talking about much, while they finished up lunch. Twice I tried getting up to help clean the mess, but twice I was denied. I didn't fight it too much since my feet were absolutely killing me.

"Do you want to move over to the living room? You'll be more comfortable there," Carlisle suggested.

"No, it's okay. I actually need the table space."

As they sat down on the opposite side of me, I began pulling out the necessary paperwork that I needed to present to them. I was about to speak before a thought crossed my mind. "No one's home, right?" The last thing I needed was for Alice or Edward to show up while I was still discussing things with Carlisle and Esme.

"No. Alice and Jasper are visiting his parents for the weekend and Edward is out. I'm not sure when he'll be back, though."

"That's fine. This won't take that long." I cleared my throat as nerves finally bubbled to the surface. It wasn't the fear of being denied, but rather the fear of asking in the first place.

"As you might know," I began, feeling as if I was back in school on presentation day, "I've been having a lot of trouble with my car lately. As of right now, it's just sitting in the driveway." I paused to gauge their reaction. It was obvious where I was going with this, but they made no indication of such knowledge. "However, with the baby on the way, my finances have been extremely tight. I've cut back on a lot to be able to put extra money away. Up until recently, I was thinking about not even getting a new car, but some things have changed. I've been reconsidering and I think getting a new car would be beneficial in the long run." I tried making myself sound as professional as possible so they understood how serious I was being.

"A new car," Esme said as if she were tasting the words.

"Not a _new_ car, but a _new-to-me _car," I clarified quickly. "Rosalie's been keeping an eye out for me. She told me about a car that she recently came across, but it was a little out of my price range." I pushed my paperwork toward them so they could look them over. They scanned the documents over quickly, before looking back up in confusion.

"Those are my last three pay stubs for the grocery store and diner - my average take home pay - and my most recent bank statement. All I'm asking for is two thousand dollars and eighteen months to pay it back," I finally revealed. "The diner is only part time and only until the baby comes. After that, I'll just be relying on the grocery store and whatever I've been saving."

"I don't understand," Esme chimed in. "Why are you showing us these?" she held up the papers. "We know you work. Too much, actually," she managed to scold.

"I want you to know I'm not looking for a hand out – that I am working and saving. That right there, "I said pointing to my bank statement, "is what I've put away so far. Every time I get paid, I put a certain percentage into a savings account that I opened."

"You know, Bella – and please don't take this the wrong way – two thousand isn't going to put a big dent in our wallets," Carlisle commented. "We can give you the money without the promise of repayment."

"I know, but that would be exactly what Edward was talking about. He already thinks that I'm out for his money and accepting anything without agreeing to pay it back would seem like his point was proven."

"This isn't about Edward," Esme countered heatedly. "This is about helping our daughter and grandchild. We're not giving you Edward's money, we're giving you ours. He is in no position to tell us what to do with _our_ money.

Sighing, I rubbed by eyes. Appreciation and frustration were warring inside. I was more than grateful for their willingness – eagerness even – to help me with no strings attached. At the same time, however, I needed everyone to see that I could do things on my own. Yes, I could admit that I needed a little help and technically I wasn't doing it on my own. However, by paying them back I would not only show Edward that I wasn't after money, but I wouldn't be indebted to anyone either.

"I appreciate it. I really do," I told them both sincerely, "but for my own peace of mind I _have_ to pay you back."

"Can you take a check?" Carlisle asked.

"What?"

"I don't have that much in cash on me at the moment, but I can write you a check," he explained.

I looked at the crazy couple in front of me. "You haven't even really looked at my statements. We haven't drawn up a contract. We haven't -" he cut me off before I could finish.

"We don't need to know how much you make. We don't need to know how much you have saved. We don't need a repayment contract. Hell, we don't even want the money back. All of that is unnecessary. If it makes you feel better, I know where you live." He smiled a familiar, but rare, smug smile.

"Are you absolutely sure?" I asked, still soaking in the shock of how willing they were to hand over two grand.

"Bella, sweetie," Esme cooed, "take the check before we gift you another couple thousand just to piss you off."

I laughed at the absurdity of it all, but for the first time things were finally looking up. I felt like things were finally going my way.

"A check would be wonderful," I finally agreed, smiling brightly. I watched as Carlisle grabbed his checkbook from a draw and began filling it out. My leg began bouncing steadily. I was nervous for inexplicable reasons. He handed me the check seconds later. I grabbed it with a shaking hand as if it would vanish if I took it too quickly. I scanned it and rolled my eyes playfully at the memo: A loan that we don't really want paid back.

"I hope you realize how much this really means to me," I expressed earnestly. "A new car would be a tremendous help, especially when the baby comes." Stupid hormones that caused stupid tears.

"Honey, we know." Esme wrapped me in a tightly familiar hug. "This is not the only way we want to help. We've told you this before, but if you need _absolutely anything _Carlisle and I would love nothing more than to help you."

I nodded, unable to speak. Emotions had me in a vice grip, none of them stronger than the other.

The three of us eventually moved to the living room when I confessed that I needed to rest my feet. We talked until they had to leave to run a few errands. I stretched out on the couch, deciding to nap until Emmett came home. We needed to talk things out. He needed to get things off his chest and I needed to apologize for being the constant fuck-up. I seemed to fall sleep once I decided to.

I was woken up some time later by something slamming – like a loud thud. Maybe the refrigerator door?

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I had napped for two hours. I didn't see anyone around, but I heard loud banging coming from the kitchen. Emmett was the only one that could make that much noise while searching for food. I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't try to wake me. He was either being considerate and letting me sleep or he was still pissed off enough to not want to talk to me.

"Hey Emmett?" I called out as I shuffled my way to the kitchen.

I was stopped in my tracks when I saw it was Edward leaning against the sink and not Emmett. He looked mad. Murderous, actually, and he was looking right at me. Could he really be that mad that I was at his house? His parents' house, rather. I had to remember that.

"Hi," I greeted nervously. "I was just waiting for Emmett to get here. I feel asleep on the couch." Why was I explaining myself to him? There were plenty of times were I'd been alone in this house for one reason or another.

"You know, you _almost_ had me," he began. "For a minute there you had me questioning what I thought I knew. In the end, though, I was right." His voice was low, menacing.

"I don't…" I shook my head, confused. "I'm not sure what you mean."

He walked over to the table, placing the check that Carlisle had written to me in the center. He looked at it and then looked at me.

"You're not even starting low, huh? Already asking for a couple thousand."

"No," I said quickly, anxiously. I needed to defend myself from his untrue accusations. "That's a loan." I pointed to the check in question. "I'm paying that back. Even the memo says it's a loan."

"Yes, I saw the memo," he replied flippantly, using his pointer to push up his glasses. "I'm pretty sure I know how that conversation went down. I'm also pretty sure that you're going to use and abuse their generosity."

"When have I ever abused their generosity?" I shouted. This felt like déjà vu. Hadn't we already had this argument? Hadn't we both expressed what we thought on the topic?

"Why did you decide to see them today about this?" he asked, switching gears, "When no one was going to be around? Why are you being sneaky?" He continued to fire question after question without letting me defend myself. "When was the last time you spoke to Emmett?"

I stuttered, unprepared for the sudden change of topic and the rapid fire ambush that swallowed me whole.

"It's been more than a week, right?" he answered for me. "Did you think that maybe Emmett is starting to see right through you, too? It's only a matter of time before my parents do as well."

Where was this intentional cruelness coming from? Even our first blow out didn't compare to this. I could understand that maybe last time he was talking out of pure emotion – fear, uncertainty, shock. But this time? I had no fathomable reason or excuse to explain why he was coming at me with such vitriol.

And then it happened. Like a fucking beacon.

I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't react. I wouldn't defend myself from blatant misconceptions.

"You know what, Edward?" I replied after taking a soothing breath. I was surprisingly calm. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore." I shook my head and started taking a few steps toward him. "I'm done with this family – _your_ family," I emphasized for his sake. "I can't do anything right by you or Emmett. I've been trying to do what I think is right – making decisions that I felt would help. I pushed Emmett away because I didn't want him to fight with you over me." Another step. "I play nice with Alice when your parents are around so they don't see what a massive bitch she is to me _for no fucking reason_." I reached the table and grabbed the check that started this all. "I've stopped trying to make you see reason, hoping that you'll finally come around. I wasn't going to hold my breath until you jumped for joy over this pregnancy. All I wanted was for you to acknowledge that – at the very least – this baby could be yours. Maybe eventually you would have realized that I didn't do this on purpose." I studied Carlisle's horrible handwriting that all doctors must learn in medical school. "But nothing I do or say will change anything. Emmett will always think I can't fend for myself. Alice will always hate me. You'll always think I'm a gold digger." I ripped up the check and stared Edward in the eyes. "Two thousand dollars isn't worth being made to feel like garbage by someone else's family. I have my own for that." I slid the paper toward him. "Tell your parents I said thanks for everything. Maybe I'll see them around."

I turned to leave the house for what could possibly be the last time. However, there was one more thing I needed to get off my chest before I wrote Edward off completely. He stood there, silent, looking blankly at nothing in particular. He looked properly scolded. I could see the ticking of his beautifully strong jaw.

"One more thing," I said. I didn't speak again until he looked directly at me. "I'm having twins."

**AN: A lot of you guessed about the twins. It was pretty obvious. If you're still out there, thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I don't think I've ever updated so quickly before without having the chapter pre-written. I'm impressed with myself.**

**Anyway, on with the chapter. As always, all things Twilight belong to SM**

There was no phone call of apology, not that I actually expected one. There was nothing to make me think that I would finally get through to Edward. If the friendly route didn't work, I knew blowing up in his face would most likely get me kicked out if I hadn't left of my own volition.

I absolutely meant what I said. That's not to say that I didn't have a good cry when I got home from work that night. Love was not something easily given up. I could rant and rave and kick Edward in the nuts if given the chance, but I still loved him with everything that I had. Except that maybe…the Edward I loved wasn't the real Edward.

I began questioning what I always thought I knew about my best friend's old brother. Undeniably, many of the things I "knew" about him were very observable to anyone who looked close enough. If Kate worked with him for a certain amount of time I'm sure she would see that although Edward was right-handed, all his stationary was placed on his left. Or he never sat down at his computer for more than two hours at a time without taking a break.

What might take a little more time for the pretty lady to realize is that during his rare free time, he loved to immerse himself into historical fiction novels, especially those involving royal families. During his high school years, during summer breaks, he would spend countless hours just reading. He would be so wrapped up in a book that he would forget to get sleep.

He drank half-caf coffee because he was sensitive to caffeine, but still desired the jolt of alertness it would give him. He wasn't fond of tea, but preferred green tea if he had no choice. He preferred pink cotton candy over blue and lemonade over soda.

All those things were easily guessed with enough scrutiny.

If I were asked months ago to describe Edward's character it would be nothing but gold stars. He was a stand up doctor with an amazing bedside manner. He was a man of great intelligence and integrity. Edward was a hard worker with big dreams. He loved his family and valued everyone's opinion.

My heart and mind were at war with each other. My mind knew that cutting ties with Edward – whatever that really meant in our strange circumstance – was for the best. Our "relationship" wasn't healthy. It was one-sides, to say the least. On many occasions, I tried to be civil with him. It wasn't always about the pregnancy. A few times I just tried to recreate a small semblance of what our friendship used to be. Leaving him to his own devices was for the best.

However, my heart cracked with every withering look and disparaging comment. Despite how much I knew – or didn't know – about him I absolutely loved him. I knew I shouldn't and, admittedly, I didn't want to stop. I never felt it was wrong or weak to love him at the capacity that I did. How could loving someone make a person weak? It was when a person didn't love_ themselves_ enough that they became weak. I knew that I didn't love myself more than I loved Edward, but I knew without a doubt that I loved my unborn children more than anything and everyone. I had to be strong for them. They needed a mother who knew she could weather the storm when life became too overwhelming.

The following days dragged on like they usually did. I worked long hours with no days off. My feet throbbed and my backed ached. I saved and bargained shopped for the impending necessities. Double of everything now. If I felt broke before, now I felt like I was already swimming in debt. I had yet to tell anyone else the results of the ultrasound and no one asked anymore. Actually, now that I thought about it, I hadn't told Edward the sex of the babies. All he knew was that there were two of them.

The look on his face was seared into by brain like an Etch-a-Sketch that wouldn't erase. It was very…telling. I saw the moment something seemed to switch on in his head. Being pregnant with twins was more than just luck. He knew.

_**~And I won't stop until you believe it ~**_

"Thanks for the ride, Ang. I'll see you Tuesday." I shut the door and waved to a fellow waitress who offered to take me home. It had been like that for the last week – various people from work volunteering to take me home.

I walked into the living room to see Charlie sitting on the couch watching the late night news. I dropped a large Styrofoam container on the coffee table in front of him.

"I wasn't sure if you'd eaten or not so…" I shrugged. He eyed the container, and then turned his head up to me, looking confounded. "It's just a burger and fries. It should still be warm, though." He didn't say anything, but continued staring right through me. "If you're not hungry…"

"No." He shook his head quickly. "This is great, thanks." However, he didn't reach for the container, but rather a manila envelope that I hadn't noticed before. "Have a seat before you go upstairs, though." I did as he asked. "I want to talk to you about this." He handed over the envelope and I recognized the return address immediately. "I didn't mean to open it, but I didn't know it was for you. It was addressed to _Mr. Swan_ so I thought it was meant for me. A typo, I guess." I nodded in understanding. I wasn't really made at him for reading my mail.

"It's alright. I'm not trying to hide anything."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" he asked pointing to the papers in my hand.

"I do," I whispered looking over the jargon I was finding difficult to understand. "Do you?"

He took a few moments to answer. "It seems somewhat one-sided. When are you going to give them to him?"

"I don't know. His birthday is coming up soon, so maybe after that. I don't intend on ruining his birthday, but I want to give him enough time to read through it and really think about it. I don't want him to rush into anything only to turn around and blame me down the road."

"Fair enough," he replied. He seemed to rethink his words. "Actually, I think that's a very good way to handle it." He patted me on the knee and stood up. "I'm gonna grab a beer for my burger. You want anything?"

"No, I'm going to bed. Thanks anyway." I followed him out of the room but stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Hey, dad," I called out. "Whose side do you think it favors?"

"His, Bella. Definitely Edward's."

It was hard to tell if he meant that in a good way or bad.

_**~When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding~**_

I lazily leaned my backside on the end of the belt around the bagging area, not for the first time wondering why I didn't take the day off. I was in awe of myself that I even managed to get out of bed. My measly pay wasn't worth feeling so horribly. My muscles ached, my back hurt, both feet were swollen, and my stomach was in knots. Simultaneously, I was starving, but felt like throwing up. Every so often, I caught myself wrapping my jacket tight around myself and wiping the sweat off my brow. To say that today would have been a perfect sick day would have been an understatement.

I closed my eyes in hopes of forestalling the headache that was not so slowly building. Unfortunately, the forces were working against me today.

A throat cleared behind me. A voice I could recognize in my sleep interrupted my pathetic attempt at rest. I opened my eyes in acknowledgement of Edward. His items were already placed neatly on the belt as he trained his eyes on my overly swollen belly.

"You were the only available cashier."

I stared blankly, emotionlessly at Edward with no indication I had heard anything he just said. However, I choose not to respond to avoid any possible regretful words. I never knew with him.

Instead of responding, however, I began ringing his purchase and ignoring his presence as much as I could. It was hard when I could _feel_ his presence, share the same air so close together.

"Twelve forty," I rasped out with a sore throat.

Edward took an oddly long time fishing out his debit card which was his usual method of payment. I switched from one foot to the other which to anyone could have been interpreted as a move of impatience, but really I was trying to alleviate some of the pain on each foot.

Edward gave me a withering look and shoved fifteen dollars my way.

"Thank you," I mumbled, gently grabbing the offending bills. I made change quickly, wanting him on his way. Twisting slightly to hand him his money, a sudden dizziness that was strong enough to halt all movement held me captive. My hand hung between us; slowly descending from the weight I could no longer support. Seconds felt like minutes before I was able to get my bearings and let the wave of nausea to pass.

"Sorry," I stuttered out, handing him his change. "Have a good day." Without waiting for Edward to grab his bag, I bent forward and rested my hands on my knees. I knew it probably wasn't the smartest move, but the thought of staying upright wasn't something I thought I could accomplish. Even knowing Edward was still standing there wasn't enough to stop me.

"A-are you o-okay?" Edward asked hesitantly. "Maybe you should sit down," recommended.

I waved him away. I could feel the clamminess overtaking my whole body. My breathing was labored and my throat felt tight. "I'm fine. I go on break in a few minutes," I lied. Something was definitely coming up.

I saw that he hesitant to leave, which seemed odd given our current situation, but I wasn't in any shape to read more into it. I was aware of the moment Edward finally walked away.

"Shelley!" Bella I out abruptly, startling the cashier next to me. "I'll be right back," I gasped out before making a mad dash toward the bathroom. Unfortunately, I made it as far as the pet aisle before the toast and orange juice I managed this morning reappeared over my apron, shoes, and in front of the kitty litter selection. Convenient for easy clean up.

"Bella needs some help," I heard someone yell from behind me.

I tried waving whoever it was away, but it was futile. There was no strength or passion behind the dismissal. I needed to go home. Aside from all the pain I was in, I now smelled like vomit.

I was trying to deny it all morning, but at this point it was pretty clear that I was fighting the flu – out of season mind you – and losing. Coming to work wasn't the smartest idea but I thought if I could occupy myself it would be something I could put in the back of my mind. Obviously not.

"Get cleaned up, Bella," my manager, Jane, said. "I'll drive you home."

Still bent at the waist, I nodded as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry about this," I began to say. "I'll clean it up."

"Don't worry about it. Maintenance will handle it."

I'm sure that Jane was regretting her offer to take me home. All four windows were rolled down and Jane sat as far away as she could while still being able to drive safely. I did my part by hunching close to my window.

"Thanks, Jane," I said when she reached my house. Jane was not the motherly, worrisome type. Helping me get safely to my door was not something I waited for her to do.

Somehow I managed to unlock and open the door. My whole body hurt. Even my hair seemed to be crying out in agony, but I had to get to the upstairs bathroom. There was vomit down my neck, under my nails, and up my nose. I needed to shower.

It took several minutes for me to get up the stairs. Thankfully, the bathroom was the first door on the left and closest to the stairs. Grabbing clean clothes and toiletries was out of the question. Had Charlie been home, I would have asked him to get those things for me.

Adjusting the water temperature was proving difficult since I couldn't seem to get a hold of how hot or cold I was actually feeling. Finally, I settled on the closest to room temperature I could manage. I shed my clothes slowly as my energy was quickly draining and carefully stepped into the shower.

I stood under the spray. It didn't necessarily feel good, but it was doing the job of washing away the vomit without having to actually move. Five minutes under the spray could have easily been twenty. I had no idea, but the longer I stood the worse I began to feel.

I turned the water off, but couldn't bring myself to take another step. It took a pep talk and another several minutes to pull the shower curtain back. I eyed the towel that hung on the rack not even three feet away. Cautiously, but not carefully enough, I reached for the terry cloth.

Everything happened so fast after that.

As I reached for the towel, my foot slipped on the wet ceramic tub. My arms flailed in front of me, searching for something to hold on to. I held on the loose towel that offered no support, allowing me to fall sideways and out of the tub. Thinking quickly, despite the fatigue, aches, and dizziness, I managed to turn my body so my belly would not break my fall. In the process my shoulder and head met the toilet seat innocently nestled next to the tub.

My memory was hazy after that. I remembered commotion and being jostled, but I didn't remember anyone being home. There were white walls and people talking loudly around me. It could have been a dream, but I definitely felt pain.

The pain was definitely there.

_**~Cause baby you're worth it ~**_

"It's so cold," I muttered to myself before drifting back to sleep.

I woke up sometime later feeling warmer. In the distance I could hear beeping and hustling. I tried looking around the strange room but howled when I felt shooting pain right through me. I felt as if I was hit with a semi.

"Bella! Bella! Sit back. Don't try to move," Charlie frantically ordered.

"Everything hurts," I cried.

"I know, baby. I'll help you stretch out, but we have to go slow." I nodded, but continued to cry. With his arm under my shoulder – which hurt like hell – and his other hand grabbing my own, he helped me onto my back. My eyes were screwed shut in pain.

"What happened?" I rasped out. My throat felt like sandpaper and it hurt to speak more than before.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Charlie asked as he held a cup of water and straw out to me. He held it steady as I took long pulls. I regretted it immediately.

"Um…I slipped in the bathroom." I racked my brain for more details. "I wasn't feeling very good. I think I have the flu." I tried remembering more. "I don't know how I got here, though."

It was silent in the room aside from the beeping machines and the rustling bed sheets. The chair that Charlie was sitting on scrapped the floor, making me really look at him for the first time in the white light offered by the television. The look on his face was completely foreign to me. His eyes were bloodshot and wet rimmed as if he was ready to cry again.

"What's wrong?" I asked through trembling lips. "Did I do something?"

"No, sweetie, no." He was quiet again. He rubbed his face and shuddered out a breath. "I came home while you were in the shower. As I was walking through the door I heard something upstairs. You fell in the bathroom." He was quiet again as he quickly wiped away a rebel tear. "I found you on the floor naked and very quiet." He let the tears come without restraint or embarrassment. I had never seen him like this and it broke my hurt to watch. My own tears flooded my ears and my chest seemed to erupt with pain.

"I wrapped you in a towel and called 9-1-1," he finally spoke again. "I'd never been so scared in my life. I'm ashamed to admit, but I thought I was going to lose you. You were just so still as you cradled your stomach." I gasped in realization and I painfully brought my hands around my very rounded belly. He looked up at me through wet lashes. "The babies are okay," he confirmed with a small smirk on his face.

I smiled lightly and utterly ashamed. "I was going to tell you," I assured him.

"I know." His smile faded quickly. "I'm going to get the doctor and tell him that you're finally lucid."

I frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

He frowned back. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Monday." Everything only happened this morning.

Charlie shook his head slowly. "It's Wednesday night, Bella. You've been in and out these past three days."

"What?" How could that even be? How could I just sleep for _days_? How could they just _let_ me? I had things to do. I had work!

"The doctor thought it was best to let you sleep. You'd wake up, mumble something then go back under. You needed the rest," he explained. I opened my mouth to protest, but was cut off before I could get anything out. "Let me get the doctor so he can explain. Letting you sleep was for the best, Bella."

Before he was out the door, I called out to him. "If you see Edward, don't tell him I'm here." Charlie looked confused, but nodded anyway. "He'll probably think I did it on purpose," I mumbled. I didn't mean for him to hear it, but I saw his spine stiffen and I was pretty sure he did.

I looked around the dark room; the only light coming from the muted television mounted to the wall. There were different machines on either side of the bed – one silent, one making increasingly annoying noises. There was an IV sticking out of both hands.

A tray of barely touched food was on a roll away table behind the chair. I noticed a recognizable duffel bag underneath said table. It was Charlie's. He used it whenever he planned on being away from home for an extended amount of days. How long had he been in this room with me? What about his work? What about Sue?

The door creaked open again, briefly letting in a small amount of light. I watched as neither the doctor nor my father entered my room. Instead it was a face I hadn't seen in more than two weeks.

"Emmett?" I breathed out. "What are you doing here?" I could cry from pure joy.

With tentative steps, he came forward and let his hands hover over me. I could tell that he was unsure of how or where to touch me.

"Oh, God, Bella," he finally cried. He settled for running his hands through my hair. His cheeks were tear streaked, too. "You're okay," he whispered.

"Why is everyone crying over me?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood even though every inch of me was in so much pain still.

He laughed with a heavy breath. "Don't ever do that again. I almost tore this hospital apart when they wouldn't let me see you."

"How did you know where I was?"

"I called your cell and Poppa Dukes answered." I smiled at his annoying name for Charlie.

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

"I'm fucking livid, but for a whole different reason." His words were forceful and his eyes held pain. "You're my best fucking friend even when you piss me off. To see you like this…unconscious…" he shook his head and rubbed his eyes, much like the way Charlie did. "Nothing ever felt so traumatic."

"I'm sorry, Em."

He scoffed. "Don't apologize for lying up in a hospital."

"Not for this. I mean for what happened at the fair. I didn't mean to put you in the middle of things and I didn't mean to make decisions for you. I thought I was helping. Family is important and I didn't want you fighting with yours."

"I know, B. Just promise not to do it again and we'll put it behind us; like it never happened."

I smiled at him. "You're too good to me."

"I know," he laughed. "So how you feeling?" he asked at the same time bringing the back of his hand to my forehead then my neck. "You're still warm, but I guess it's better."

"Honestly, I feel like shit. My right side is killing me, my head feels like it's ready to split it two, my throat feels raw, and I really need to pee."

He laughed lightly at the last part, but didn't let the amusement last too long. "Have you spoken to a doctor yet?"

"No. Charlie's trying to find him now." Emmett gave me a funny look and was about to say something before the door opened again.

Charlie came in and looked meaningfully at Emmett before turning to me. "I couldn't find the doctor, but I'm sure that it could wait until morning." They were both looking at each other funny, but the pain in my bladder made it easy to ignore.

"I _really_ need to pee," I spoke out loud. When neither of them moved to help me I felt my irritation raising. "I need help getting up," I explained.

"You tell her," Emmett whispered to Charlie. Charlie glared at him.

"The nurse inserted a…uh…catheter. So um…feel free to uh…go whenever you're ready."

I gave them a horrified expression. "Why would they do that? I could have woken up to pee."

They looked at each other again. I was getting pretty tired of these shared glances.

"What?" I asked harshly.

"Well," Charlie began as he rubbed the back of his neck. "The first morning you were here, you sort of had…an accident," he muttered.

"What?" I was horrified. "I peed in bed?"

"The doctor said it was common," Emmett was quick to explain. "It was the nurse's fault really. She didn't insert it properly. The _doctor_ was pretty pissed off."

"And I slept through all this?" I was stupefied.

"No, you woke up, but you were still really out of it."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Can someone tell me what happened and why I've been in the hospital for three days already?" Things were getting more bizarre by the minute.

"Well, the gist of it is that you have the flu, which apparently can be very dangerous in pregnant women. When you fell in the bathroom, your arm and shoulder took the brunt of the impact, although you did bang your head, too, but not too badly." Charlie's voice was becoming tight. He was having a hard time repeating what he learned. Emmett clapped him on the back and squeezed his shoulder in support.

"The doctor was thoroughly impressed that you managed not to hurt your belly." He nodded to my cradled tummy. "An ultrasound and heart monitor showed signs of slight distress, but nothing that he was overly concerned about. They're still being monitored, though." He pointed at the machine to my left.

"I still don't understand how I managed to sleep all this time."

"Well, the doctor said that aside from the flu you must have been suffering from exhaustion."

"Exhaustion?" I scoffed. "It's not exhaustion. It's called pregnancy," I rebutted.

"No, B," Emmett countered. "This is beyond pregnancy fatigue. You work yourself to the bone – seven days a week. A full time and part time job is a lot for anyone, but it's even more taxing when you're pregnant…with twins." He raised an eyebrow that told me we were definitely talking about it later. He knew what twins meant. "And what about the insane amount of stress you've been under since you found out you were pregnant? I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner."

"The doctor recommended quitting your jobs," Charlie added.

"That's not going to happen," I clarified so they didn't think any further about it.

"I know," he sighed, "but I think that it would be wise to quit your job at the diner, at least. It's only part time anyway."

"I'll think about it," I acquiesced. I wasn't in the mood to really talk about it any longer.

"Fair enough."

"Hey guys?" I called after a silent few minutes. I waited until I had both their attentions. "I just peed." It hurt to laugh at their disgusted faces, but I needed it. Admittedly, though, I felt a lot better than I did minutes ago.

_**~Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me~**_

Somehow I had fallen asleep again; waking up when the sun shone too brightly in the room. I tried shielding my eyes from the offending light, remembering too late how battered my body felt. I let a pathetic sounding cry slip from my lips. I heard Charlie's chair scrap the floor beside the bed.

"I'm fine, dad." With my eyes shut tight, I tried fighting through the pain that was quickly consuming me. I breathed slowly in and out through my nose, trying to get a grip on the pain that refused to be controlled. "It hurts," I whimpered into the stiff blanket.

"I know, Bella, I know." A voice that was definitely not my father's softly spoke over me.

Slowly, as if it would make it go away, I opened my eyes only to realize that he _was_ in the room with me.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I was weak and my voice portrayed that. I hated it. Why was he here? I told him I was through. Could he hate me so much that he waited until I was vulnerable to attack?

"I…I was the admitting doctor when you were brought in on Monday. I've been tending to you since."

"There wasn't another doctor who could do it?"

"There is another doctor that checks on you when my shift is over."

"When is your shift over?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"Then why are you still here?" I asked again.

He stuttered as he tried to look for the right words…any words. This was the adorably geeky Edward that I dreamt about at nights. The one that I hoped would one day confess that he loved me as much as I loved him.

"I was worried," he simply offered. That was it.

"You don't need to be, but since you're here, doctor, can you tell me your official prognosis and when I can be discharged?" I asked coldly. Why hadn't Charlie told me any of this? He knew and so did Emmett. Didn't either of them think this was something that I should know? What about conflict of interest? Did that not apply in this situation? Although, physically, I didn't think I could lift a pencil, mentally, I was stomping my foot and throwing chairs across the room in search of answers.

I half listened to him repeat a majority of what Charlie told me that night before, but he used medical terms that I wasn't familiar with. I watched as his mouth lowered and closed as he talked. As his eyebrows rose and fell with his different facial expressions.

He was still stunningly beautiful through it all and it added yet another ache to my already tender body.

Where the hell my dad?

"You never said when I can go home," I said when he finished.

He looked contrite. "Not for a couple more days still. I want to monitor you and…the babies." He was uncomfortable and a small, immature part of me was glad for it. "Before I can release you, I want to make sure that you can walk steadily on your own and your fever doesn't come back. I would like to see you eat at least small amounts of solid foods and keep it down and use the facilities-" I cut him off.

"No, that doesn't work for me," I said defiantly. "I need to go to work. I've already taken too many days off as it is. Can't you just prescribe me something so I can be on my way?"

"It doesn't work like that, Bella. I have to make sure that you're okay before I can let you go home."

"I haven't been okay for a long time now, Edward. Don't start caring now." I might have stepped over the line, making this more personal than it needed to be, but I was pissed off.

His jaw ticked and he began fidgeting where he stood. "It's my job to care, Isabella. If you don't care about yourself, then think about the babies. You'd be devastated if something happened to them." He played dirty.

"Screw you, Edward," I sneered. "I'll stay, but the moment I get the go ahead I'm out of here."

"I'd expect nothing less from you, Isabella. You've always been very…steadfast." He grabbed his lab coat from chair. "Have a good day…and try to eat something."

**AN: Hmm…**

**Thanks for reading! **

**P.S. You've probably noticed the repeated song lyrics. For such a good song, there aren't many lyrics in it. :/ **


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hey guys! This is a pivotal chapter and it took me a while to get it right. It was actually one of the first chapters I wrote when this story was just a thought. In the end though it's pretty different than how I first drafted it. **

**One more quick thing before we begin. I want to thank Midnight Cougar SO MUCH for rec'ing this story on The Lemonade Stand. This story has gained a lot of new readers because of her and I am so grateful. I hope this chapter and all others that follow live up to her and everyone else's expectations**

**Shutting up now… All things Twilight belong to SM (do people still credit her in their ANs?)**

All in all, I spent almost two miserable weeks in the hospital. It could have been worse, I guess. I had a lot of visitors throughout my stay. Charlie was a constant; holding vigil at my bedside with Sue. It was Rose, after an official introduction, that forced his ass home to shower, shave, and get some proper sleep. He would never understand how much I truly appreciated the amount of time he spent away from work and his own personal life to take care of me. I wasn't dying, though, and he had to start taking care of himself again. I'm sure Sue was feeling neglected, too, although she would never actually say. She was just as helpful as Charlie when she visited. She helped wash me when I expressed that the notion of unfamiliar nurses washing me made me uncomfortable.

The Cullen's were another set of frequent visitors. If it weren't for Carlisle I'm sure Esme would have flooded my room with huge bouquets, but he convinced her that the less contaminated and more sterile my room was the quicker I'd be set free.

More than once, I'd caught them both sneaking glances at the machine that monitored the babies. I knew they were worried about the three of us, but all the attention was making me nervous that I was being kept in the dark about something.

During their many visits they never mentioned the check or car. I didn't bring it up either and I had no plans to. I'd wait until they did.

I was always happy to see Rose and Emmett, but it was Jasper that was my saving grace during my stay. He was the only one who didn't treat me like an invalid. He was able to joke about my condition, saying that I was only here for the days off. Alice came with him the first time, but continuously scowled at me as she perched herself in the corner. After that visit, he came alone. Well, not exactly alone. He always had some kind of food with him. I could have kissed him…again…when he snuck pizza into my room. I easily gained an additional five pounds with all the junk he brought me.

Edward was…just plain weird. Not in the circus clown way, but in the where's-the-Edward-that-hates-me way. He wasn't giving me foot rubs or fluffing my pillows, but he was very civil. Granted, we never had any conversations outside of my health and the babies. He remained very professional and courteous as if I were a regular patient. However, there were a few times that I had woken during the night and caught him sitting in the empty chair that Charlie's ass surely dented. Of course, those were the rare nights when Charlie didn't stay. I never asked about it and he never admitted to doing it – not that he actually would.

He asked me how I was feeling when he checked in on his first visit for the day and told me to take care on his last. I was under the impression that he made it a point to visit my room last before his shift was over.

I glanced at myself in the long mirror that was nailed to the bathroom door. The bruising was still horrible. There were large purplish-green splotches that covered my right arm, hip, and thigh. The swelling had gone down, but certain areas were still tender. The only reason my hair still wasn't matted and dirty was because of the combined effort of Rose and Emmett washing and combing my hair. In a nutshell, I looked like shit.

There was a knock on the door before Charlie poked his head in. "I'm back," he announced as he stepped into the room with a bag of fresh clothes. I was extremely embarrassed when I learned that I was brought into the hospital with nothing more than an oversized towel. I had been living in hospital gowns since I'd been admitted. Rose had offered to bring clothes. Even Edward had offered me scrubs at one point, but I politely declined his offer. However, moving was still painful enough to turn me off the thought of dressing. The gowns weren't that bad as long as no one stood behind me.

"Thanks. It'll be nice to finally wear some real clothes."

"Well, actually, I brought pajamas. I thought it might be more comfortable," he corrected.

"That's perfect," I assured him. "I need to go shopping anyway. My clothes are becoming very tight."

"When you're ready to do that, let me know and I'll take you. We can make a day out of it; grab lunch or dinner or something."

I stared at my father, touched, but very confused at his sudden desire to not only spend the day with me, but spend it doing something baby related. It was a subject neither of us addressed willingly.

"Yeah," I finally answered, dragging myself from my stupor. "That'd be great."

He nodded his head slowly, looking a little deflated. Had I not answered the way he thought I would? Probably not. Charlie was looking for more enthusiasm than I gave him and I instantly felt like shit. "I'm going to step outside while you get dressed. Call if you need my help."

"Dad, wait!" I motioned for him to sit on the bed with me. I grabbed his rough hand in my dry one when he finally sat down. "I just wanted to say…thank you…for getting home at just the right time that day." I was getting choked up like I usually did when I thought about the what-ifs. Maybe it was far-fetched, but I truly believed that if it wasn't for Charlie, someone would not have survived my fall.

"I know that I'm not your favorite person and I've been a constant disappointment from a young age, but I've never meant to cause you so much strife. I wanted to be the daughter that you deserve, but I keep falling short. I don't want you to think that I've never appreciated what you've done for me, especially trying to protect me from Rene." I squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm going to show you, though, that I can be a good mother and a responsible adult."

He snatched his hand away, but before I could feel hurt, he wrapped me in his arms. We sat like that, neither one of us attempting to pull away. Eventually, I could feel moisture on the part of my shoulder that the gown did not cover.

Charlie was the first to pull away, quickly wiping at his eyes.

"You're my daughter, Bella. I'll help you up every time you fall." He reached for a tissue to wipe his nose. "_I_ should be the one apologizing to you. I didn't' react the way I should have to something so great. I accused you of things that I could never forgive myself for." He rubbed at his already red eyes with the heel of his hand. "I accused you of being someone you're not and I know that the way you feel about Edward isn't so trivial. I was so…"

"Dad," I said, cutting him off. "I don't need to hear anymore." I shook my head vehemently. "We both said things that we can't take back, but all I want is to move on from those things." I didn't care whether Charlie had a valid excuse or not. He could have been stressed at the time or completely care-free. Forgiveness wasn't real until you could truly let the discretion go and not over-analyzing every minute detail. I had forgiven Charlie months ago. I just wanted my dad back.

_**~I know people make promises all the time**__**, **__**then they turn right around and break them~**_

"Dad, I'm leaving now," I said from the doorway. I was hesitant to actually face him because I knew what was coming.

"Are you sure – absolutely sure – that you want to go back to work?" he asked as he stood from the couch. "Losing two days of part time work isn't that much anyway. I can give it to you."

"Dad," I sighed. "I don't _want_ you to give me money. I feel a lot better now and I've slowed done a lot."

"Not enough," he grumbled. He was still upset that I hadn't completely quit my job at the diner or go part time at the super market.

"Pregnant people get sick all the time. It doesn't mean that life stops."

"Yeah, but most pregnant woman don't run themselves ragged while everyone around them watches and says nothing."

Charlie blamed himself for the whole ordeal, as if he forced me into working sixty hour weeks. He felt guilty for not being able to provide for me and his unborn grandchildren. I had to remind him time and time again that supporting a whole family was not his responsibility and that he was already doing so much for me.

Our relationship had greatly improved since I left the hospital when I was finally given _Dr. Cullen's_ blessing that it was safe for me to go home. That was nine days ago. The only thing that we seriously bickered about was what was inside the manila envelope. While I was in the hospital, Charlie took his much unused time to read and understand what they said. To say that he disagreed with it was an understatement. I stood firm, though.

It was what _I_ wanted.

I strolled in the living room and sat down next to Charlie. "How 'bout this? Let me work the diner for another month or so and then I'll quit. I'll give them my notice in a couple of weeks, which should give them enough time if they want to replace me."

"You haven't been to work in almost three weeks. I'm sure they'd survive." He hadn't meant it as an insult to me, but it was hard not to take it personally.

"Because I'm not good enough?" I had flashbacks of my childhood with Rene.

"What? No! That's not what I meant at all!" He looked genuinely horrified. "You're the best damn waitress that place has ever had," he said passionately. "What I meant was that the diner isn't as busy as it used to be. Their nights are slower and I don't see why the other three waitresses can't handle it."

"I know," I whispered, ashamed of myself for comparing Charlie to Rene.

Charlie sighed next to me. "One month and then you'll quit?" he acquiesced.

"One month," I agreed.

"Okay," he rubbed his face. "But if at any time you begin to feel tired or sick or sick and tired of anyone's bullshit you quit that job on the spot. You got me?" he demanded.

"Yes, dad, I 'got you'," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"Good. Now, does the car have enough gas in it or do you need cash to fill it up?"

"The car has gas, dad. I'm going to go now. I'll call you when I get there."

I glowered at Charlie as he sat there and watched me struggle to get up.

"You could help me, you know."

"I could, but if I don't then you can't go to work." He smirked like the evil genius that he thought he was.

_**~And someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding~**_

Charlie was right. I shouldn't have come back to work. Although I felt a lot better than I did when I first left the hospital, I still felt overly tired – that exhaustion that seems to stick around long after the fever is gone. My headaches would waver, but never completely disappear.

I couldn't keep doing this to myself or my babies. The longer I stood on my feet, the more I realized the extra pocket change wasn't worth it. I needed all the strength I could keep for when these babies graced this world. I was going to hand in my two week notice. In a small place like this, I doubt it was really necessary but I wanted to be courteous. I'm sure Charlie will be thrilled when I told him.

As I was wiping down a table, something – or rather someone – caught my eye. This was the bullshit that I wanted to protect Edward from. I watched Kate watch another man walk to the bathroom. I composed myself before walking over to the completely undeserving nurse.

"Hello, Kate," I greeted between clenched teeth.

"Bella, right?" she responded sweetly. "I didn't know you worked here."

"I do." I nodded curtly.

"Okay." She let the word hang in the air before trying to retreat. "Well, it was really good to see you again."

"You, too." I grabbed her arm before she could walk by me. "What the hell are you doing here with another guy while Edward's at work?" I whispered harshly. "He doesn't deserve this. He's a well respected man this community and he's going to do big things in that hospital. I don't know what your game is, but I suggest you stop playing." I squeezed her arm tighter. "I won't tell him what I saw here, but you better figure out what you want because Edward needs someone to stand beside him. If you can't do that then leave him alone for a woman who can."

She looked at me curiously, without an ounce of regret or anger. There was an odd look in her eye. "Are you…in love with him?"

It was hesitant, but I was able to remain cool. "I'm just looking out for my best friend's brother. That's all."

_**~And I won't stop until you believe it**__**, **__**Cause baby you're worth it~**_

I wish Charlie understood that I needed to do this. I could understand his point of view, but I wish he would try harder to understand mine. I knew that I wasn't doing myself any favors, but in my heart and mind I knew I was making the right decision.

That's how I found myself parking in front of the house that I promised myself I wouldn't visit for a long time to come. There were two unfamiliar cars parked in the driveway. My steps became slower, heavier, as I tried to figure out who the cars could belong to.

I rapped on the door, acutely aware that I still had the house key snuggly tucked between the ones to my front door. Presumably, using them was no longer an option. However, I couldn't bring myself to return it.

The night was unseasonably cool for a June evening, which I wasn't dressed appropriately for. I crossed my arms close to my chest; careful to keep the envelope unbent, as the breeze raised my flesh and the small hairs there. I knocked again, harder, hoping someone would hear. Edward's car was in the drive way, so unless he was out with Kate, he had to be home.

"C'mon, c'mon," I chanted as I waited for someone to answer the door. I could hear commotion on the other side. I debated whether or not to use my key. I stared at the envelope that felt like a hundred pounds in my hand. I needed to get rid of it. I needed to give them to Edward. Tonight.

Slowly, as if entering my own death chamber, I turned the key. The sound of the tumbler seemed deafening. Opening and closing the door softly, I tip-toed into the house. The noise was coming from the formal dining room.

Ducking my head into the room, the scene before me was heartbreaking. It shouldn't have been since Emmett had warned me to some degree, but it was still hard to see.

Carlisle and Esme were sitting at opposite ends of the table. Between them sat Emmett with Rose where I usually sat, Alice and Jasper, Edward and the two-timing Kate. Additionally, Carlisle's twin sister, Carmen, her husband Eleazar, and their two daughters, Tanya and Irina had come in from Alaska.

Emmett had told me that Edward's birthday dinner had been postponed due to his unruly work schedule. I didn't ask him for the new date. I had attended every birthday dinner since Emmett and I had become friends. I didn't want to sit at home knowing that everyone was having a good time and moving on with life without me.

I should have been used to it by now.

"Bella?" Tanya screeched from where she sat. She was out of her seat, trying to wrap her skinny arms around my huge form.

I loved this girl. She wasn't that much younger than me at only sixteen, but for unknown reasons she looked up to me. She reminded me of myself when I was her age. Her parents should be worried.

"O.M.G., Bella! You're pregnant!" Tanya stated in the way only teenagers can do to make things more embarrassing.

"Oh, Bella." Carmen stood from her seat. "Eleazar, look at our little Bella." She rubbed my belly. "You're pregnant," she exclaimed happily. "You look like you're ready to pop."

I chuckled along with her. "No. I still have a few more months to go."

"Do you know what you're having?"

I knew she wanted to know the sex. I wanted to keep that information to myself for a little bit longer so I stated what was already known.

"I'm having twins," I answered.

There was a collective silence until Carmen burst out laughing. I was not surprised by this reaction.

"Did you hear that, Carlisle?" Carmen continued to laugh. "Tell me Emmett's the father," she joked. The only one laughing was Carmen.

I looked to Rosalie, afraid that she would be offended by the comment. I knew Carmen was joking, but she didn't realize how close to home she hit. She smiled and shook her head.

"Can I ask why you'd think Emmett knocked her up?" Rosalie asked when Carmen finally sat back down.

"Oh, honey, I was just joking. I didn't mean to upset you," Carmen apologized.

"I wasn't upset," Rose assured her. "I just didn't understand what Emmett and Bella's twins have to do with the other."

"At least one Cullen in every generation is destined to have twins. They're as common as dark hair in this family," she explained.

I quickly looked over at Emmett. He smiled sadly and began picking at a piece of bread. Rosalie didn't know yet.

"I can guarantee you that Emmett didn't knock me up," I piped up, trying to move the conversation along.

"Does the boy treat you well?" Eleazar asked in his fatherly tone. "The father of the babies?"

"Um…we're not together," I answered uncomfortably.

"So he's a deadbeat?" Tanya cut in, smirking slyly. She was an odd one. Just like me.

"No, not at all. We just…didn't work out, I guess." I kept things purposefully vague.

Thankfully, Esme changed the topic, knowing that it was going to quickly become awkward. "Bella! I thought you were working tonight?" she asked. "Emmett said you couldn't make it tonight because you couldn't get the night off."

"You're still working at the diner?" Edward asked from his seat. He sounded angry, but I refused to react to him.

I addressed Esme instead. "I'm actually on my way now. I wanted to stop by and say hi to everyone and drop off Edward's gift. I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner."

"Of course not. Can you stay for a bit? Have a quick bite? We can make room for you." She began moving plates and silverware.

"I wish I could, but I really need to get going." I pointed at nothing behind me. "I just need to…uh… talk to Edward." He quirked an eye brow at me while simultaneously adjusting his glasses. "It'll just be a minute."

"I'll be right back," he addressed the table. I hugged his family from Alaska, not promising to see them before they left.

"I'm calling you tomorrow," Tanya whispered in my ear before letting go. I nodded into her shoulder.

"Do you mind if we step outside?" I asked him when we reached the foyer. Surprisingly, he agreed easily. I'm sure he didn't want Kate to overhear anything. The tramp.

I pointed over to the car I came in. "Do you mind? It's a little chilly tonight."

"You bought a car?"

"No. Sue loaned it to me." It was an older car and not much to look at, but it had been reliable for the short time I had used it.

"Let me just start off by saying that I really didn't know you were having your birthday dinner today. I wouldn't have picked tonight to show up. I'm…sorry for interrupting."

"It's fine," he answered simply, running his hand through his shaggy hair.

"Right," I mumbled. "So, uh, I wanted to give you this." I handed him the envelope that mocked me every time I looked at it.

He took it with cautious fingers. "What is this?"

"Legal papers."

"As in?"

"Child support and custody agreements." He sneered and glared at me. "Just scan it quickly before you get yourself worked up," I scoffed. That was one of his many problems – he jumped to conclusions and always thought the worst.

I rested my head on the window with my eyes closed while I waited for him to look over the papers. When I received them, it took me a few tries to really understand what was stated within them. The lawyer I worked with kept giving me odd looks and continuously asked me if I was sure about my decisions. I was. I knew what I wanted from Edward and I wanted it to be iron clad.

"This is joke, right?" Edward broke the peaceful silence in the car. "You can't be serious with this."

"There's no joke here, Edward."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, continuing to scan the documents.

"Do you want me to tell you the truth, or what you want to hear?" I asked jokingly, raising my head from the cool window. His heated looked could have melted glass. Taking a deep breath – and very close to puking – I surged on. Hiding behind false truths to protect everyone involved no longer appealed to me. Lying to maintain the peace always burned me in the end. "The truth, Edward - the horrifying truth - is that I've been in love with you since I was seven." I let it hang that like stagnant air. It was a weight off my shoulders; a lie that was finally revealed. "I'm an idiot that obviously enjoys torturing myself where you're concerned."

If it wasn't for the ceasing of paper rustling, I would have thought that he hadn't heard me. He certainly hadn't acknowledged that I had said anything. He wasn't laughing either, so that was a good sign.

The tension in the air was palpable and I could feel myself choking on it. I could feel nervous laughter bubbling from within. I coughed a few times before the situation became worse.

"I know you won't believe me, but I just want you to be happy." I wiped at my eye before the moisture could become anything more. "Up until very recently, I used to think that maybe I had a shot with you. I'd hope that one day you'd see me as more than Emmett's friend and actually _look_ at me." I heard the harsh air he released from his nose. "Don't worry. I know better now," I assured him. "I like to think that even if this pregnancy hadn't occurred I'd realize that my fantasies of you were pretty childish at my age."

Truth and realization was a hard pill to swallow.

"I never meant to condemn you to a life you never wanted with me. I didn't do this on purpose to trap you or tie you to me for eighteen years."

I turned away when I couldn't take looking at him any longer. He was so beautiful, but so hurt and so misguided. The latter, however, I would not take blame for. I began tracing random patterns on the fogged window pane.

I began talking again without looking at him. My heart couldn't do it. I wiped away any trace of thought I could have left on that window. "You have so much ahead of you and I'm not going to be the roadblocks in your way. I meant what I said the other day – they'll be no more visits from me, no more calls, no more whatever. The timing is bad, but I had to give you those," I said, pointing to the papers in his hand. "I'm not asking you to sign them right now. Read them over again and think about it. I've already signed them, so if you decide to go forward with it, you can mail it back to the lawyer yourself. It'll be less contact between us that way."

"Don't I get a say in anything?" Edward finally spoke.

With confusion easily coloring my thoughts, I turned to finally look him in the eyes. "If you want to amend it, I guess you can take it to your lawyer. Although, I thought it was pretty-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"Not about this."

"Oh," I whispered. What was there to say, really?

"It's not stupid to want to be with someone."

I chuckled in relief. That's _not_ what I thought he was going to say. "It was stupid to think I could end up with you. Kate is the prime example." Even though I hated her.

"What does that mean?"

Bravely, and with a forced smile on my face, I shoved his shoulder with my arm. "You have Jayne Mansfield sitting with your family. Not only is she painfully beautiful, but she's smart, friendly, mature." A fucking cheater who better heed my advice.

"What about you?" he asked, looking at me through his lashes and over his glasses.

"Me? I'm…Emmett's best friend." I smiled ruefully. "'I'm a single mother with no college education that still lives with her dad. I'm a catch I tell 'ya."

The air was thick again. I refused to say anything more in fear of making myself look more like an asshole than I already did.

"You're more than Emmett's friend, Bella. Weren't you popular in high school?" he asked. His obliviousness was cute.

"No," I shook my head. "I was always just Emmett's friend. Girls talked to me to get closer to Emmett and guys were nice to me because Emmett would kick their ass if they weren't. My only other real friend was Jasper."

"Jasper," I heard him mumble. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes before letting out a deep sigh and changing the subject. "So you're still working a second job? That's very dangerous, Bella. You were just in the hospital for exhaustion," he lectured. I didn't appreciate the third degree.

"First off, Edward – not that it's any of your business – but I put in my two weeks at the diner already. Second, every woman is exhausted during pregnancy. The body is working overtime," I explained stupidly to the doctor.

"Which is why working sixty hour weeks is doing more harm than good. The babies need a healthy mother," he countered.

I was about to mouth my retort when there was a sharp rap on the passenger window. I jumped violently in my seat, my hand flying to my racing heart. I might have even peed a little.

I turned the car on and rolled down Edward's window.

"Is everything alright?" Emmett asked. His eyes didn't rest as they darted between Edward and me.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Edward asked.

"Because you've been out here for over half an hour. I wanted to make sure you didn't kill each other," he joked.

Had it really been that long? We hadn't been able to talk civilly for this long in months. It was very bittersweet. I was also feeling a little smug that his girlfriend was in the house alone wondering what Edward was doing for so long.

"I have to get going anyway." I looked back to Edward. "The lawyer's card is in there if you have any questions.

He nodded slowly, without looking up from the papers in his hand. "I'll have my lawyer take a look at these."

**AN: I forgot to mention this above but the chapter was, obviously, un-beta'd. Some people have asked me about my lack of beta'd chapters. The thing is I've haven't had the best of luck with betas for one reason or another. It's probably me. Who knows?**

**I know how frustrating it is to read chapters with a lot of mistakes and I won't fault anyone for deciding the un-betad chapters are too annoying.**

**One last thing and then I'm gone. My moods for fics change every so often and I always have a hard time finding what I'm looking for. I would appreciate any recs. At the moment, I'm looking for corporatewards. The more dickish he is the better. Suggestions? Thanks in advance. **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Welcome back! I got a lot of questions about some things from the last chapter. Some will be answered in this chapter, some in future chapters. **

**Before we begin the next chapter I just want to give a BIG thank you to the Fic Sisters for featuring this story. I've gained a lot of new readers/followers. I know it's hard to start a story that is only a few chapters and doesn't update regularly. With that being said, I TRULY appreciate everyone who is reading, reviewing, and following this story. I don't reply very often to reviews, but please know that I read and appreciate each and every one of them.**

**As always, all things Twilight belong to SM.**

"What are you doing here?"

Tanya was sitting at the lone picnic table that was just off to the side of the grocery store where employees were encouraged to park.

"I told you I was going to call. You never answered your phone. Emmett told me you were probably working so here I am." She stood up when I was in front of her and hugged me.

"Are you working at the diner tonight?" she asked.

"No, yesterday was my last day." I straddled the bench because it was the only way I would fit. Tanya followed suit.

"So," Tanya began, smiling slyly, "how'd you get Edward to knock you up? Never thought he had it in him."

I choked on air.

"Oh, please," Tanya laughed. "I'm not stupid and if anyone was really paying attention at that dinner table last night they would have figured it out."

"I could have gotten pregnant by anyone," I fought when I finally found my voice. "What makes you think it was Edward?"

"Because you've had a hard on for him forever. I may not be around a lot, but I think I know you well enough to say that you're smart enough to not get yourself pregnant by a stranger." I couldn't respond. "What? You thought I didn't know about your hang up on Edward?" she laughed. "I've known for a long time – since I was little."

"How'd you find out?"

"I use to spy on you and Emmett," she confessed with a smirk. "I heard you tell Emmett once that you were going to try to get Edward to hyphenate his name when you got married." That got a chuckle out of me. I remembered that conversation. I think I was about fifteen. "So am I right? Is Edward the father?"

I nodded. "But it was an accident. I took advantage of him when he wasn't in his right mind. He would never touch me if he was sober." After so many months it was easy to admit it to myself and others.

"Why the hell would you think that?" she asked, disgusted with the comment. "You're hot and in a few months you'll be an official MILF," she laughed.

"Thanks," I chuckled. "But I'm not his type."

"What's his type? Kate?" she scoffed.

"Have you _seen_ Kate? That chick is beautiful and a fucking nurse. I'm a cashier, Tanya! When you get older, you'll realize life isn't full of happy endings."

With a sneer on her face, she moved closer. "You're pregnant so I'm not going to call you what I really want to call you, but don't talk to me like I'm a fucking kid. I know how life works. It may not be full of happy endings, but it doesn't have to be as miserable as you make it out to be, either."

I felt thoroughly chastised and embarrassed. I was a dick for talking to her like she was a still a young child.

"I'm sorry, Tan. I'm an asshole. I know you know better."

She waved me off dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I'm not really that mad. You just really sounded like my mom right now. It's a constant fight between us." She took a deep breath. "But…let me tell you something. You've got to get over this whole…career thing. Who gives a shit if he's a doctor and she's a nurse? That doesn't mean they're better than you. All it means is that they had the patience to sit through all those science classes."

"They also make more money," I added.

Tanya smacked her hand on the table. "So what?"

"It's easy to dismiss money when you have it. I have to raise two babies and take care of myself on a meager salary. I don't have an ass load of money sitting in a bank account."

"No, but you don't have to do it alone. You're _not_ going do it alone. There's Charlie, my aunt and uncle, Emmett."

"My kids aren't their responsibility, though. They shouldn't have to help me."

"_You_ look at it that way. They don't look at it as having to. They look at it as getting to. You should have heard Esme going on about the babies," she cooed in a voice trying to imitate Esme. "If I were you, I'd be worried about her kidnapping your babies," she laughed.

I shrugged a shoulder, not really sure how to respond to her statement. It was true; I knew it was, but it was something that was hard for me to completely comprehend.

If my own mother couldn't be bothered…

"And what did you say to him last night?" Tanya asked. "You were gone for awhile."

That got my attention. "Nothing. I gave him some custody and child support papers to look over, but that was really it. Actually, it was the most civil conversation we've had in a really long time. I thought we parted ways on decent terms." I obviously left some parts of our conversation secret. I wasn't quite ready for everyone to know that I laid my heart out there to someone who couldn't reciprocate my feelings. I racked my brain for anything that could have been said to upset him, but couldn't come up with anything. "Why? What happened?"

"He was just really quiet when he came back – wasn't even really talking to Kate much. He stayed for about an hour before he said he was tired and went to bed. He sent Kate home before that, though."

"He probably _was_ tired. He does work a lot," I defended him. Old habits died hard.

She rolled her eyes. "So how come when I checked on him three hours later, he was sitting at his desk staring at a mess of papers? I know my cousin and something was up." She crossed her arms across her chest and waited for an answer.

She wasn't going to budge. I knew firsthand how stubborn she could be. Like I said, it was scary how much she reminded me of myself.

"If I tell you something, you promise not to say anything? To anyone. Even Emmett," I warned, pointing my finger at her. She nodded vigorously. "It's not that big of a deal, so don't make it out to be," I began. "Now, I don't know if this is what got him so upset, but the only thing I could think of is the parental termination document."

"What?" Tanya screeched, causing customers to look our way. I tried to calm her down. "You can't do that to him."

"Shut up, Tanya! I told you not to make a big deal of it. It's not what you think."

"This is a huge deal, Bella."

"Let me finish talking. Christ!" All these Cullens were becoming a pain in my ass. "I didn't tell him to sign them. We didn't even talk about them."

"So why even included it?"

"Because I wanted to give him the choice. Whether he stays or walks away, he could never say that I forced his hand." I rubbed my face harshly. I was exhausted, hungry, and tired of having to explain every decision I made. "How would you feel if you were put in a situation you never asked for? _Being a father_ is a big fucking deal and all the years I've known him, I can't remember one time he expressed wanting children. Even if he does, I know that he never dreamt of having them with me. I'm giving him an out."

"But do you want him to sign them?"

"Honestly? No, but I also want Edward to _want_ to be their father and I don't think he does."

"I guess it hasn't been the best between you two, huh?" I chuckled and shook my head. "And you still love him?"

"I don't know if I'll ever stop."

Tanya brought my head onto her shoulder and began cooing softly. I didn't know if she was trying to seriously console me or just being a moron, but I couldn't stop the hideous guffaw that came out of me. I pushed her away and watched as she tried to keep herself from falling off the bench.

"You're mean when you're pregnant," she scowled playfully. "Have you had any weird cravings? Does everything make you want to gag?" She was wearing an eager face that reminded me of a four year about to blow out their birthday candles.

"I wouldn't call them weird, just things I don't normally eat, like corn chips. They're gross, but I've craved them throughout this pregnancy. Then there's the cream cheese. I could eat it by the spoonful."

"That's disgusting." She made a face and stuck out her tongue. I agreed. "What about smells? I heard things start to smell gross."

"Cola. I won't puke or anything, but I can definitely do without the smell. Raw chicken smells particularly fucking nauseating," I shuddered.

She stared at me in amazement. "That's so weird it's amazing."

"_You're_ weird," I laughed, trying to get up. My back was killing me.

"Wanna hang out at your place for awhile? Play some Zombie Dice?" Tanya asked as she helped me up.

"Sure. I'll probably fall asleep, but the company would be nice."

"Cool. I'll buy us a couple of cokes," she cackled. I shoved her and watched as she doubled over in laughter.

___**Cause I know that's a good place to start~**_

"Couldn't stay away, huh?" Lauren chuckled as she carried a few drinks on a tray.

I giggled with her, but vehemently shook my head. I always liked Lauren. She was quick and always minded her own business. I appreciated that she never asked intrusive questions about my pregnancy or the elusive father of my children. She helped with my tables when I needed it and even when I didn't. I actually missed working with her.

"No! My feet definitely don't miss it. Look what my I've been reduced to!" I held out my slipper clad foot.

"It's a fashion statement, all right," she laughed.

"I'm going to take the corner booth." I pointed to the booth at the very end. It was seldom used because the lighting wasn't that great and it was farthest removed from the rest of the diner. "Can someone bring me a decaf whatever? I just want to close my eyes for bit."

"No problem. I'll bring it over in a second."

"Thanks." I waddled over to the booth that I just managed to squeeze into. The diner might not have been the quietest place to go to, but I knew I wouldn't be bothered here. It seemed that I had a lot more time on my hands than I was used to. With no longer working at the diner and cutting my hours back at the grocery store I spent a lot more time at home. I was very close to gong stir crazy.

"Here you go." I watched as Lauren placed milk and a muffin in front of me. "You need more than a decaf whatever." Her look dared me to question her judgment.

"Thanks. I'll leave you a hefty tip, Mom."

She swatted my shoulder with a menu. "I hope you're taking notes. Holler if you need anything, but if your water breaks my shift is over."

I rolled my eyes, but began picking at the muffin. The muffins here were actually pretty good and before I knew it, I practically licking the crumbs off the plate.

"Are you fucking Jasper?" I heard from behind me. My hand froze midair with the glass of milk in it. With bulging eyes, I saw Alice take the seat across from me. My wide eyes stared and her red-rimmed ones.

"What?" I sputtered.

"You heard me. Are you sleeping with my fiancé?"

"Why the hell would you think that?"

"Because I'm not stupid. I know he's gone over your house by himself and you two talk on the phone a lot. Maybe trying to rekindle wherever the two off you left off." She snatched the napkin that was resting under the plate. I watched with rapt attention as she wiped at both eyes. "I just knew," she began, seemingly talking to herself, "this was going to happen if we came back."

"What are talking about?" I should have stayed home. "I thought you wanted to come back home?"

"I'm talking about you stealing Jasper just like you did in high school!" she exclaimed too loudly for my liking. Thankfully, no one seemed too aware of us. "If _I_ want it _you_ get it."

"I never stole Jasper in high school. How could I have stolen him from anyone when we were both single when we started dating." Holy hell. She was bat shit crazy.

"You knew I liked him," she accused.

"How the hell would I have known you liked him? We were never close friends or anything. We didn't hang out or talk regularly. If you told someone you liked him it sure as hell wasn't me."

"Just answer the question, Bella, please." There was a genuine sadness to her voice that I was not familiar with.

I sighed deeply, knowing that I was going to answer her intrusive question.

"Listen to me, Alice, because I won't be repeating myself." I stared her down, making sure that I had her full attention. "Jasper and I have never slept together. Not before, not during, not after. Especially, not after you guys moved back."

"Did you love him? Jasper?" she asked sadly.

"Do you mean was I_ in _love with him?" I asked instead. She nodded and I shook my head. "I loved him – still do – but I was never in love with him. He was always a great friend to me and when he came back it was like the separation occurred."

"Is that why you never slept with him?" Her voice was soft which was probably why I was still indulging her personal questions.

"Part of it, I guess. When we were going out I just wasn't ready to take that step with him."

"What if he was Edward? Would you have?"

I smile ruefully. "Probably and that was the other reason. I wanted to save myself for Edward." I chuckle humorlessly. "I honestly thought that Edward would one day realize how important he was to me and suddenly feel the same way." I shrugged a shoulder. "I guess I was blinded by love."

"So I guess he wasn't your first?" she asked too innocently for my liking. The small amount of sympathy I had for Alice was quickly dissipating.

"No, Alice he wasn't my first," I sneered. "Do you remember when you told me about that girl Tia he was seeing?" I could see the recognition in her eyes. "Remember when you told me that you just so happened to walk in on them in a 'compromising position'?" Recognition turned into guilt. "That gutted me. Not only did I feel betrayed – and I get that I didn't have the right to since we weren't together – but I felt like you were rubbing it in my face."

Rightfully so, Alice looked ashamed as she twisted the used napkin in her hand. "They weren't doing anything," she whispered, "but studying." I watched as she placed the ripped napkin on my empty plate and steadied her eyes to mine. "When I found out about you and Jasper…I hated you so much. I convinced myself that you were going out with him to spite me."

"That makes no sense," I cut her off. "For one, I really didn't know that you liked him like that and second, I had absolutely no reason to do something that fucked up to you. We may not have been friends, but we were friendly enough."

"I…" She shook her head. She didn't have a good reason; no excuse.

"So," I continue just because I need to get this off my chest. She needed to know what her nastiness and bitterness helped cause. "There was this really nice guy, James. He used to go to school with Emmett. We became friends. I knew that he liked me more than I liked him and I used that against him." I became disgusted with myself just thinking about it. "In my head, sleeping with James was like getting back at Edward." My mouth twisted into a sneer. "So imagine my surprise when I found out that Edward was, in fact, a virgin. I gotta tell ya, it made me feel great to learn that I stole his virtue."

We stared at each other for a moment. Her red face to my angry one.

"I was just so…I hated you. I _wanted_ to hurt you," she confessed. "But I never thought it would have such long term consequences."

"You were a bitch for doing that, but I realized a long time ago that I couldn't blame you for my actions. It just pisses me off when you come at me because you have this idea in your head that I'm trying to steal your fiancé."

"I miscarried, Bella," she stated matter-of-factly, but refusing to look at me. "That's why we came back home. We needed to be around family. We were at each other's throat every day. If we weren't fighting then we were crying." A round of fresh tears began. "I was only three weeks along and didn't even know I was pregnant, but the loss was still really hard on the both of us. I didn't want the it to be the end of Jasper and me. Despite all the fighting I loved him and still do." She reached into her purse and pulled out a new tissue.

I felt for Alice, but I couldn't imagine going through what they did. It would absolutely destroy me. The father may not have been on board, but I loved these babies. Before I could help it, I could feel a tear slip down my cheek. I wiped it away before Alice could see. I may not have liked the woman sitting across from me, but I still had the compassion to feel sorry for her.

"It's so easy for Jasper to pretend that the miscarriage still doesn't haunt him. Maybe it doesn't." She shrugged. "But it hurts me every time I think about it. I thought coming back home would help me…I don't know. Forget? Move on? But then on the first day back you announce you're pregnant." Schooling her features, she looked at me and continued. "I was over all the jealousy I harbored over you being with Jasper. It may have taken a long time to get over it, but I was. Until I found out you were pregnant. It was like you were getting everything _I_ wanted. It was so unfair. I may not have been the best person to you, but I wasn't a _bad_ person. I felt like I was being punished over and over again for how I treated you." Losing the pretense of the tissue, she wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands. "And now Jasper rather hang out with you then talk to me."

I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say. Was I supposed to promise that I wouldn't be friends with Jasper anymore because of her insecurities? Or was I supposed to tell her that the past was in the past and we should move on. Be best friends. Should I grieve with her on the child she never knew?

None of that seemed genuine. Our history may not have stretched out for years and years, but it ran deep enough to leave memories that wouldn't fade with time. I could tell her that I forgave her for her behavior in high school and beyond, but I could never forget. So really, I wouldn't have truly forgiven her. I could give her the only thing I really had to offer.

"Let me give you a little bit of advice. Do with it what you want." I made sure that she was ready to listen. "You and I really aren't that different. We both have someone that we love unconditionally. We've been through ups and downs in our short lives. The difference, though, is that your guy loves you back. If you don't believe anything I say after this, believe _that_. He's told me many times. The person coming between you and Jasper is you. Don't let your feeling – your insecurities – destroy what you have. The best I can hope for is being invited to Edward's wedding as the mother of his children. If I had with Edward what you have with Jasper I wouldn't let anyone come in between is. Not Emmett and not you. Don't let anyone doubt his love for you; not me and not yourself."

___**And I won't stop until you believe it~**_

"I told Rose about my brother," Emmett stated nonchalantly as he channel surfed. I knew he was feeling anything but relaxed. It was one of the rare times that Emmett and I were able to be alone in recent times. I was always working and he was always in school, taking summer courses. We were always with Rosalie. I had also made good on my promise to make myself scarce around the Cullens. It had been a month since Edward's birthday dinner and I hadn't heard from him since.

"Not Edward," I clarified.

"Not Edward."

There was a long stretch of silence. I wasn't sure what to say. There were no more words of comfort. I knew it was something he kept close to his chest. It wasn't something he liked to talk about.

"She brought up a comment that was made at Edward's dinner – about twins in every generation, or something like that." He wasn't looking at me, but I knew he wasn't paying attention to the TV either. "Claimed that it couldn't be true since Esme never had twins."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. We were on our way to lunch so I took a detour to the cemetery and showed her my brother's grave."

Esme did have twins – two boys. Emmett was born big and healthy. He was a little early, but healthy none the less. Mason, however, was stillborn. When Emmett was old enough to understand, Esme and Carlisle sat him down and told him about his brother. For weeks Emmett claimed that it was his entire fault. He thought that _he_ killed his brother. In his young mind it was the only reasonable explanation of why he survived and Mason didn't. After a lot of discussions with his parents, he was beginning to accept that sometimes these things happened for no viable reason. However, I knew that even though he didn't think about it often, he still felt some type of responsibility for his brother's passing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"No." That was always the answer and I respected that.

We remained lying together on his bed watching whatever movie he found interesting enough to keep on. He may have been able to shut his mind off and not think about the unpleasant, but I just didn't have that ability. How much had this family suffered as individuals? I wondered if they knew about Alice. It was likely that at least Esme and Carlisle knew, but I doubted Emmett or Edward knew. After all the times that Jasper and I hung out or talked over the phone, never once had he hinted that Alice was pregnant once upon a time.

I could feel my eyes and head drooping the longer I thought about how each Cullen privately fought their own battles. My head was about to hit Emmett's shoulder when a knock at the door startled me awake.

I sat up straighter when I saw Edward's head pop in. His eyes shot to mine before veering toward Emmett.

"Hey, Em. Can I borrow Bella for a bit?" He stood awkwardly as he waited for Emmett to respond.

"I'm right here," I replied sarcastically. "If you want to talk, ask me, not Emmett."

"So-sorry, Bella," he apologized. "Can I talk to you?"

I rolled my eyes, but struggled to stand up. "I'll be back, Emmett."

I followed Edwards blindly until I realized he was leading me into his bedroom. I hesitated at his door, unsure I really wanted to enter. I looked about the room I would have once loved an invitation into. I didn't get the chance to look about the room _that_ night.

This was no longer a child's room. Posters of musicians were replaced with unfamiliar works of art. Comics that were usually visible were no longer in sight. A young Edward was always too busy to find the time to correctly make his bed. Adult Edward made the time.

Medical journals and thick novels filled the bookshelves that once housed Star Wars action figures and games. If I had to guess, all the things that made Edward a nerdy child were now hidden in his closet.

"We'll get the most privacy in here." He sat at his large desk as I stood, unsure of where I should sit. Sitting on his bed wouldn't be appropriate, but I would feel like an idiot sitting on the floor. I walked and stood at the side of his desk, seeing as it seemed like my only option. "Oh, sorry," he apologized for the second time in one day. He shot up from his desk and retrieved an extra chair I hadn't noticed before.

"Thanks," I said as I sat. I couldn't help but sniff as he took his seat again. He smelled…sterile.

"Did you just get off work?"

"Um…about an hour ago."

The silence that followed was stilted and awkward as it usually was when the two of us were together.

He cleared his throat. "I took these papers to my lawyer." He motioned toward the all too familiar manila envelope. "I looked them over the night you gave them to me and I'm still not sure what to make of them."

"Okay." What else was there for me to say?

"He seemed pretty confounded by them, too. I let him keep them for a couple days so he could go over them thoroughly."

"Okay."

"Eventually, he urged me to sign them. Quickly."

"Did you?" I asked nervously. I may not have wanted him to sign the termination papers, but I needed him to sign the rest.

"No. I wanted to talk to you before I signed anything."

"You've had them in your possession for almost a month," I pointed out which seemed to annoy him.

"Was I supposed to make a decision in a month that may or may not affect the rest of my life?" he countered. "To you this may seem cut and dry, but it's not. I had a lot to consider," he argued.

"You read the papers and so did your lawyer. It's all moot if you're proven not to be the father. Why even discuss it if you _know_ you're not the father?" I sneered.

Edward pulled at his hair in frustration before removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"Look, I don't want this turn to nasty," he replied calmly. "I really do just want to talk to you."

"What, exactly, do you need clarification on?"

"Your underlying goal."

"What?" I spat, insulted.

"Look at it from my point of view," he tried to rationalize. "If a DNA test proves I'm the father you're not asking for any child support from me."

"Okay?"

"You don't benefit from that and it seems a bit suspicious."

"How? I don't get child support, but you can't sue for custody. We both win. You keep your money and I keep my children."

"But you're willing to grant me visitation."

"Maybe I really am stupid, but I don't get what the problem is," I sighed. "You don't want to be their father…"

"I never said that," he cut me off with a finger in my face.

"You didn't need to say those words. Your actions are enough. That's beside the point. I'm not asking for anything, but in return I don't want you taking anything."

"It makes no sense," he muttered.

"Why not?" I dipped my head so I could look him in the eyes. "Is it so hard to believe that I'm looking out for the both of us? That I'm not the selfish person you think I am?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

"I never wanted your money, Edward. I've told you that before."

"What do you want from me then?"

It was a loaded question. I wanted him to parent with me. I wanted him to come to appointments with me. I wanted him to break up with Kate. To ask me on a date. I wanted him to love me.

"Just sign the papers," I sighed again.

He opened his mouth to reply, but instead reached for the envelope. Silently, he pulled out the papers in question.

"I'm not signing this." He grabbed something from the bottom of the stack and slid it to me. It was the termination of parental rights. I looked up questioningly. I may not have wanted him to sign it, but I wanted to be sure that he knew what he was doing.

"Are you sure? This is your out. This allows you to walk away."

"If they're proven to be my children, I'm not giving away my rights," he replied heatedly.

"Fair enough." I nodded. "What about the rest?"

"I want to amend it before I sign them."

"What kind of changes?" I asked skeptically. In my opinion, there was no way he could benefit anymore.

"Just one. If the babies are mine I want them to have my last name. I want them to be Cullens."

"Then everyone will know I had your babies," I laughed. He wasn't. I sobered quickly. "Won't you be embarrassed?" I asked seriously.

"Of my children? Never." The mother of his children was a different story.

I nodded slowly, quietly agreeing in my head before I agreed out loud. "If that's what you want, I can agree to that. The only thing is that you're going to have to go through your lawyer to make any changes. I can't afford it."

"I'll speak to my lawyer tomorrow."

There was nothing more to say. We talked about the papers and hashed out whatever hiccups he found within the documents. Ultimately, I was getting what I wanted. I should have been happy. I should have been able to walk away confident about the future lives of myself and my children.

But this felt so final. He'd go his way and I'd go mine. My way being the babies, me, and my working class life. His way would be a prestigious medical career and a picturesque Home and Garden type life with Kate.

Was is so bad for him to want to come my way?


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I am extremely sorry for not posting in a month. The month of October got away from me. Work had been so busy and stressful it's unreal. So much so, that my branch manager has actually gone on disability b/c the stress made her so sick (I kid you not). So that's how things are on my side of the fence.**

**I also must apologize for not getting around to reading all the reviews from the last chapter for the reasons listed above. They're still sitting in my inbox, though. **

**Let me also say now that I can't promise when I can post again. Sept and Oct were rough and Nov isn't looking any better. If you don't hear from me for awhile it's probably b/c I moved into my job.**

**Sorry for the long AN. On with the story….All thing Twilight belong to SM.**

So far twenty three years old didn't feel so different than twenty two. Although, technically I guess I wouldn't be twenty three for another four hours.

I sat around the house with nothing to do on my birthday. Emmett and Rosalie were taking me out tomorrow. I would have actually enjoyed working today solely for the distraction. I hated my birthday. Emmett and my dad were the only reasons why they were tolerable. This year Charlie was taking me to Port Angeles for a nice dinner so I could say that I actually _did_ something on my birthday.

I was sluggish to reach over and grab my ringing cell phone. The number displayed was unfamiliar; not even local. I pondered for just a second whether or not to pick it up. It couldn't be a bill collector as I had no debt. A telemarketer seemed more likely and I _was_ kind of bored…

"Hello?" I answered politely, ready to hear what this person tried to sell me. Maybe discounted car insurance.

"Hello? Bella?" the telemarketer greeted me. I yanked the phone away from my ear to look at the phone number again. It was some sophisticated calling system they had these days.

"Yes. Who's this?" I asked.

"What do you mean 'who's this'? Of course you recognize your mother's voice," Renee squawked on the other end.

Dumbstruck and speechless, I stared at nothing in front of me. I hadn't spoken to her in two years.

"Bella!" The screeching tore through the confusion.

"How'd you get this number?" I asked without trying to hide my shock and irritation.

"You're father gave it to me awhile ago." She was absolutely clueless.

"I've had this phone number for almost four years and this is the first time you've ever called it," I informed her in case she wasn't aware. "Why are you calling now? Today?"

"It is your birthday, isn't it?" she gushed obliviously – as if we were best fucking friends.

"Yes. I'm just not use to you calling me _on_ my birthday. Previous years, you've called a week late. If you called at all," I bit back.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. You're a grown up and you know grownups have responsibilities. I have a lot going on these days."

"Like?" I questioned. This was going to be good.

"Well, I got a part time job at an arts and crafts store doing activities with children. I'm really good with kids," she said proudly. I held the phone away while the urge to laugh at her subsided. "…employee of the month." I caught the tail end of whatever she was saying.

"Well, I'm ecstatic that you found time in your busy schedule to remember my birthday this year," I replied sarcastically. "I'm sure I don't deserve this great honor."

"So what are your plans this year? Are you spending it with that boy you're friends with? What's his name?" I could hear her snapping her fingers, but I didn't offer any hints. "Ethan! That's his name. Are you spending it with Ethan."

"Nope." I rolled my eyes. "Ethan is taking me out tomorrow. I'm having dinner with dad tonight."

"That's nice." She used the dismissive tone that she always used when Charlie was brought up in conversation. I hated the way she ignored anything involving Charlie. As if he was the bad guy. As if he was the one who abandoned me when I was just a little girl. Or the one that lead me on only to constantly let me down. "And what are you and Ethan going to do? Get black out drunk probably," she laughed.

I wanted to scream at her that his name was not Ethan; his name was Emmett and she should know that. Instead, I did something that I said I wasn't going to do.

"It's frowned upon to get drunk when you're pregnant, mother."

There was dead silence on the other end for a solid minute before she spoke again.

"Please tell me you're joking, Isabella," she demanded.

"Nope. I'm pregnant. Seven months."

"And_ now_ I'm hearing about this?" she screeched. "Why didn't you tell me? Or your father?" Her constant sighs were becoming obnoxious. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, offended.

"Please, Isabella. Do you honestly think that you're ready to be a mother? You can't even take care of yourself."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" I yelled into the phone.

"There's example number one – this childish tantrum," she sighed into the phone. "And you can't take care of yourself. Don't you still live with Charlie?"

"So?"

"So you want to bring a baby into this world but you can't even afford to move out on your own."

"What does it matter where I live? As long as my baby is happy and healthy it shouldn't matter that I still live with dad," I argued. My anger was quickly escalating higher than it already was. My heart was beating hard and I had a strong urge to punch something.

"That's another thing," she continued. "What do you know about raising a baby into a child?" She clicked her tongue. "You're making a huge mistake, Bella. You should look into adoption of you haven't already. I think you'll be happier on your own."

My hands began to shake and my heart was going a mile a minute. Angry tears fell without permission as I tried to calm my breathing.

"You know what, Renee?" I seethed into the phone. "You're the best example of what not to do. You have some nerve questioning my potential parental abilities when you never had any. There's not one positive attribute about myself that I can trace back to you. The very worst parts of me are because of you. Everything I am, everything good in me is because of Charlie." I wiped my tears away angrily. "I may know jack shit about raising a baby, but I have people – good people – around me willing to help me learn. I could never say that about you."

If it weren't for the breathing I heard on the other end, I would have thought she hung up. I was angry and hurt. Every emotion that Renee invoked in me was rearing its ugly head.

"I can't do this with you anymore, Renee," I cried. "Every time you called, every time _I_ called, I hoped something would be different. But I never learned. Even when I thought I did. But _you_ made me feel like this. Feel like an absolute nothing. You're the one that causes me to feel like I'm not worthy of other people since I could never be worthy to my own mother. You've already done the damage to _me_, but I will _not_ let you make my babies feel like that. You'll never meet your grandchildren and you have no one to blame, but yourself." I laughed at my own silliness. "What am I talking about? You don't even care if you ever meet them. You've never cared about me, so why would they be any different?"

"Bella," Renee sobbed on the other end of the line.

"Don't call me again." I hung up the call and stared down at the home screen of my phone. It felt like years of pent up aggression were finally set free and no longer bogged my body down. But I didn't feel better. What should have been cathartic proved to be anything but. I was still angry.

Before I could consciously think about it, my hand reared back before going forward and throwing my phone across the living room, smashing into multiple pieces when it hit the window sill ledge.

How dare she! Who the fuck did Renee think she was? She had some nerve telling me that I didn't know what I was doing with children. This was coming from the woman who, for the lack of a better description, dropped me off at my dad's doorstep and ran. I may _not_ know the first thing about raising a baby, but I knew that if it was something I thought Renee would do I should do the opposite.

I sat crying and staring at my broken phone, going over the short conversation with Renee. It was always like this with her. I couldn't even remember at time when she ever congratulated me on anything. Not when I graduated middle school or high school. Not when I passed my driving test the first time out or got my first job. Nothing I ever did was good enough or important enough to deserve _any_ kind of praise. Would a "good for you, Bella" kill her? Probably.

I wiped furiously at my eyes when I heard the knock at the door.

"Come in," I shouted. I had taken to leaving the door unlocked. Charlie would kill me if he knew, but it was easier that way. I didn't even care who I was letting in.

With one hand on the arm rest and the other on the back of the couch, I struggled to get up. My efforts were proving to be unsuccessful.

"Don't…don't get up," the deep voice said from behind me. My red rimmed eyes widened in alarm and shock. I let my body sink back into the couch to allow myself to inspect my completely unexpected guest.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I tried to inconspicuously wipe my wet eyes.

"Are you okay?" Edward took two long strides into the room.

"I'm fine," I sniffed. "Allergies," I lied.

"I never knew you had allergies." I watched as he hesitantly sat in the space next to me, but still kept some distance. "Have you been seen by an allergist? In…um…your condition you need to be careful of the medications that you take. Some medicines have been known to - "

"It's not allergies, Edward," I huffed, not even close to being in the mood to hear about his extensive medical knowledge. "It's just been a long day. I'm pregnant and emotional and want pizza."

"Did they refuse to deliver?" he asked.

I looked at him curiously and followed to wear he gestured to my broken phone across the floor. I smiled at his sad attempt at a joke.

"No, that was all emotion." I swallowed the lump the forming again. "My mother called."

Like he actually gave a shit.

"Your mother?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Yeah, I have one of those, too," I replied sarcastically.

"No…no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Of course you have a mother. I just don't think I ever met her before."

"No one has. Emmett included," I informed him.

"I'm assuming that it wasn't a pleasant conversation," he guessed.

"It never is." There was a moment of silence. "I haven't spoken to her in two years and I was reminded why."

"Do…you want to talk about it?" he asked nervously.

"There's nothing to talk about." I shrugged. "I'll never be good enough for her to be proud of me." I swiped at the tears that started again. I hated that I was letting Renee get to me again. I promised myself that I wouldn't shed another tear for her or because of her, but here I was, in front of Edward no less, feeling like I was twelve again.

"I'm sure that's not true. You're mother loves you…in her own way," he added when he saw the look I gave him.

I shook my head. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Do you remember when Emmett used to call me his number one pancake?" I chuckled at the memory. Never was there a better person than Emmett. Even to this day, when he was feeling particularly foolish, he would call me his pancake.

"I do. That was a very odd nickname. It made no sense. I figured it was another inside joke the two of you shared."

"When I was seventeen – my senior year of high school – I got a call from Renee. Even back then it was suspect to get a call from her. They were so few and far between. Anyway, she called because she had some great news that she had to share with me." I rolled my eyes at how stupid I was back then. Even now, I guess. "She called to tell me she was pregnant." I chuckled gruffly. "She told me that she was getting her perfect baby."

"That's a horrible thing to say."

I nodded. "It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, though. I was use to these kinds of comments from her. But like the masochist I am, I asked her to clarify. She told me that children are like pancakes – the first one never comes out right." I turned my head to look Edward head on. "Looking back now, I realize it was a stupid comment to get so worked up over, but at the time it hurt." I swallowed hard. "It took me a couple weeks, but I eventually told my dad and Emmett what happened. They were both pretty pissed off, and I'm not going to lie, it was nice having people mad on my behalf. I knew they were in my corner, but I needed the reaffirmation after talking to Renee."

"So you have a younger brother or sister?" he asked softly.

I shook my head. "She was never pregnant. It was a false positive, but the damage was already done." I began picking at my nail cuticle that would surely bleed. "I just wanted a mother who loved me." I shrugged. "I got that from Esme, though. You have a great mom."

We sat in silence that was surprisingly companionable. We were each lost in our own thoughts. I'm sure mine were a lot darker than his.

"Is that why you stopped going to school your senior year?" he asked after a moment.

"You remember that?" Although it wasn't one of my proudest moments in life, it was nice to know that he paid at least a little attention to me.

"I do. I remember Emmett saying you were going through a hard time, but he didn't elaborate more than that."

"Ah." I nodded slowly. "Well that was why. Kinda stupid, huh? I just lost motivation to do anything. School was the last thing on my mind."

"People deal with things in different ways," he shrugged. "You did graduate, though. I was there." He offered a small, shy smile. I smile I fell for a hundred time before. Thankfully, it also helped remind me that our current situation of wasn't normal.

I was about to speak when a kick hard enough to break ribs caught me off guard. "Shit," I hissed, grabbing my side.

"What's wrong?" His eyes grew wide as he tried to assess the situation.

I grabbed his hand without really thinking. "Feel." I put his hand under my rib cage.

"Wow," he whispered, spreading and flexing his fingers. I didn't think he realized that he was feeling up my oh so sexy gigantic tummy. "I can feel them moving. Do they move a lot?"

"Mostly at night when I'm trying to sleep," I chuckled. "I think they're reacting to the recent event involving Renee." Saying her name made me realize I just spilled my guts to someone who couldn't care less. "I didn't mean to unload all of that on you," I apologized. "I'm sure that's not why you're here."

"No." He shook his head and stood from where he stood. "I…um…I just wanted…to tell you happy birthday," he replied awkwardly.

He was obviously lying. The question was whether I should call him on it or not. The answer was a resounding no.

"Oh. Okay. Well thanks. I appreciate you taking the time out."

"No problem. I have to go, though" he replied hurriedly.

"Okay. Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No. No, it's okay. You need rest." He took a half a step toward me before practically running toward the door. "Happy birthday, Bella," he shouted before I heard the door shut loudly.

_~Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me_

"Bella," Charlie called up the stairs. "The phone for you."

It was weird having Charlie receive calls on my behalf. It was like when I was too young for my own phone so my friends had to call the house phone.

I smashed my phone two days ago and hadn't bothered looking into replacing it. I wasn't in a hurry. Not only was I too broke for the expense, but whoever needed to reach me had the house number.

"Dad, can you bring it upstairs?" I yelled through my open bedroom door. I heard his heavy footsteps on the creaky stairs.

"Is everything alright?" he asked as he handed me the phone.

"Yeah, but my feet are swollen and sore. It's uncomfortable to walk."

"Do you need anything?" Worry was etched on his face and he wasn't doing much to hide it.

"No, I'm okay. Staying off them helps."

"Well, I'm home all day so let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, dad. Will do." I waited until Charlie was out of the room until I addressed the person on the phone. "Hello?"

"Bella. It's Edward."

"Uh…hey, Edward," I greeted hesitantly. "Did you need something?"

"I just needed to ask you a few things, if that's okay." It was nice to hear that he sounded just as nervous and awkward as I felt.

"It is about the papers?"

"Not quite. They're just a few simple, non-evasive questions."

…the fuck?

"Okay…I guess," I complied.

"Thanks." I heard the rustling of papers on the other end. "Are you ready?"

"Sure."

"The first one is simple enough. What's your favorite color?"

"My favorite color?" I repeated idiotically to make sure I heard him correctly.

"Yes. You're favorite color," he replied methodically.

"Red," I answered. I could hear him writing on a hard surface.

"Would you say that you're more of a dog or cat person?"

I made a face at the phone as if he could actually see me. Was there a point to this?

"I'm more of a bunny person."

"A bunny person?" he questioned.

"I'm allergic to both," I clarified.

"Hmm." There was more writing. "Two more. Do you sleep with or without socks?"

"These are the most random, pointless questions," I muttered. "Without socks, but I have fallen asleep with them on when I'm too tired to bend down and take them off."

"Last one," he began with a strong, confident tone. "Could you answer all those questions about me?"

Pfft… I could probably recite his social security number if I thought hard enough.

"You're favorite color is yellow. You think it's bright, but calming. You're also allergic to cats, but still prefer them over dogs. Again, you like that cats are calmer. You sleep without socks because you're feet get hot at night."

"You know a lot," he muttered lowly. I'm not sure he meant for me to hear.

"More than someone who's just after your money," I stated smugly.

"Yeah," he trailed off. "I have to get to work." There was a beat of silence. "You should stay off your feet for the rest of the day."

"I plan on it." I replied quickly before snuggling deeper into my bed and stifling a yawn.

"I'll let you go. Have a good day, Bella."

"Bye, Edward."

I wasn't even that tired, just very comfortable. Somehow, though, I was woken up two hours later by someone bursting through my bedroom door.

"What's up, B? Nice hair thing you got going on." He circled the crown of his head. I reached to feel my hair and it felt higher and stiffer than normal.

"You are you yelling?" I rasped, throwing the covers over my shoulder.

"Sorry." He sat at the foot of my bed. "I got a very interesting phone call earlier." He threw the covers off my feet and put them in his lap. He grabbed one foot and began rubbing it gloriously. My eyes closed of the own volition. "I was having lunch with Rose and Edward called." I'm only half listening, even when he mentions Edward's name. "And he tells me that I should head over here. I was a little worried and asked him why. Do you know what he said?" he asked as he continued to rub, applying the most perfect pressure.

"Hmm?" was all I managed.

"He said that you needed me. Well,_ that_ really scared me coming from Edward, ya know. Imagine my surprise when he tells me that you _need_ a foot massage. That your feet were swollen and you couldn't walk."

"He told you that?" I asked, finally listening to what he was saying.

"Yup." He nodded. "What I can't figure out is _how_ he knew and _why_ he cared." Emmett quirked an eyebrow expectantly.

"He called me before and heard me tell Charlie that my feet were swollen. I didn't even know he had the house number."

"Why'd he call in the first place?" he asked.

"No idea. He was asking some strange, completely irrelevant questions." A sudden, scary thought occurred. "Has Edward mentioned the custody papers I gave him?"

"No, why?"

"Becuase he seemed agreeable to the terms, but what if he's had a change of heart? What if he's being nice to get something out of me? It's the only thing that really makes sense," I reasoned.

"Or…now hear me out…what if he's really trying to be nice?" he laughed.

"Why would he do that? Why now? He wants something from me."

"Isn't everything contingent upon a paternity test, though?" I threw Emmett a disgusted look. "That's not what I meant. What I mean is that _if _he's trying to butter you up to change the papers it must be because he finally got his head out of his ass and knows he's the father."

"That still doesn't answer the question of why now. It's very sudden."

"Maybe it isn't sudden," he countered. "Maybe it's something that's been on his mind for awhile."

"Has he talked to you about it?"

He shook his head. "We don't really talk about it anymore. It always led to a fight so we stay away from that topic."

"Do you think I should bring it up to him?"

"Bring what up?" he laughed. "Ask him why he's finally treating you decently? Let me know how that goes for you."

"You mean to tell me that you don't think it's suspicious?"

"No!" He stopped rubbing. "Look, I know Edward's been an asshole and I guess you have a right to be suspicious, but we both know deep down Edward is a good guy. Granted, we can't speak highly of him based on his recent behavior, but he wasn't always like this. Maybe he's realizing that he fucked up and trying, albeit strangely, to make amends. I'm not telling you to welcome him with open arms, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to stop thinking that he's plotting against you."

"So now I'm the bad guy?" I asked defensively before yanking my foot out of his grasp.

He yanked my foot back. "No." There was a heavy and frustrated sigh that accompanied his answer. "What I'm saying is that you're already under a lot of stress, so it wouldn't kill you to take his behavior at face value. Stop analyzing it."

"It's just hard," I whispered. "To think that after all these months he wants to be nice to me."

"I get it, B. But at the same time, it's not like he always disliked you. He considered you a friend at one point. That's why he had your house number."

"You don't treat friends like he's treated me. I've never lied to him, backstabbed him, talked behind his back, yet I'm the worst person in the world?"

"Because Edward doesn't think like you and me," Em replied surely. "He's brilliant, but socially awkward and has very low self-esteem and the people he hung around with were the same way. Usually when you get kicked to the ground, you have a friend to pick you up again, right? Well, all his friends in school were being kicked right down with him. All he knows is being defensive."

"But he knows _me_, Emmett!"

"Does he really, though?" he countered. "Like I do?"

"He should. I've been around long enough."

"Bella," he said my name with losing patience. "Edward is seven years older than us. He was out of high school before we even started. Do you think he was concerned about getting to know a high school girl when he was applying to medical school?"

"Do you really think this is Edward's way of getting to know me?" I asked after letting Emmett's statement marinate.

He shrugged. "I don't know, but I honestly don't believe he has malicious intent behind his phone call."

I had to take Emmett's word for it since I had nothing else to go by. He could be right.

I thought back to my most recent interactions with Edward while Emmett switched feet.

During my hospital stay, he seemed genuinely concerned for my well being. I'm sure he made more stops to my room than was necessary and he made sure that I was okay before he lift after his shift. He could have swapped cases with another doctor, but he didn't. I'm not sure for whose benefit that was for, though.

There was also our impromptu meeting during his birthday dinner which I unintentionally crashed. Edward was cordial, though, and didn't seem too upset when I took him away from his family and date. It was also a plus that he took his "birthday present" a lot better than I thought he would. I was sure an argument would ensue.

The few times he came in to the store were…okay. He didn't strike up stimulation conversation, but he didn't completely ignore me either. I usually got some kind of greeting or goodbye.

Then there was my birthday. I still wasn't sure what to make of his visit and I hadn't considered the reason for it either. But I had to admit that it was cathartic to vent to someone who wasn't Charlie or Emmett and already knew the whole fucked up relationship I had with my mother. Edward was there for me when I didn't even realize that he was.

Could it be that I was promoted from being hated to being tolerable?

**AN: Thanks for reading. If you've noticed more mistakes than usually I apologize. After sitting on this chapter for so long I was in a rush to get it out. (I tried posting it earlier in the week but…read the above AN.)**

**Until the next time…**

**Rec's I'm looking for this time: BDSM (hehe)**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I'm still alive. Last time I updated I told you things at work were crazy. Welp, they got worse. This is my first day off in two weeks. Remember I told you about my branch manager? She decided not to return, so that should give you an idea of how bad things have become. (The stress of the merger caused her to relapse). **

**I want to thank everyone who has messaged me in some kind of way and expressed their concern and support and offered their services (that sounds sexual LOL). A lot of the time I don't have the time (or energy) to respond, but I truly appreciate it all. I don't see things getting better at work which means writing won't happen very often. Thank you to those that stick with me through the lack of frequent updates and responses. And I understand those that want to jump ship. I get the frustration of waiting for an update that never comes.**

**This is a shorter chapter, but I wanted to get something out there for you guys. Hope you like it. As always, the chapter is unbeta'd (and will probably have more mistakes than usual). So…on to the story.**

I scowled at Edward as he placed his Gatorade and fruit salad on the belt. "What happened to your glasses?" I asked more harshly than intended.

He reached up to the bridge of his nose to where he glasses usually rested. He withdrew his hand awkwardly after remembering they weren't there. "Nothing. I still have them. Kate wanted to see me without glasses so I wore my contacts today," he replied self-consciously.

Couldn't he just take them off in front of her?

It wasn't my intention to make him question his decision, but seeing him without his glasses was an unpleasant surprise. Edward was beautiful with or without his glasses, but in my mind he wasn't the Edward I knew without them. Kate should appreciate him for who was and it was a known fact that Edward preferred glasses over contacts.

I wanted to ask if he brought his glasses because I knew he would eventually tire of the contacts, but I refrained. It wasn't my business what he did to make his girlfriend happy.

"Oh." I didn't offer anything further. Instead, I began scanning his items.

"Do you think I look stupid?" he whispered loudly. I stopped short without finalizing his purchase. I looked from the screen to his worried face. I hated the look I saw there. I had seen it more than a few times when we were younger. It was that insecure certainty that he was going to get made fun of; as if he was entering the dragon's den to fight off cruel comments and staggering behavior from his peers. But this wasn't high school and no one deserved to feel like that.

"No, you look fine, Edward," I assured him, speaking to match his volume. "But it doesn't matter what I think. All that matters is what Kate thinks," I reminded him. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn't decipher and had no desire to. It could have meant so many things and I'm pretty sure none of them were favorable. "Um…four thirty-two."

I ignored him while he swiped his debit card, entered his pin, and grabbed his purchase. "I have another question."

I pursed my lips in an effort not to smile. Despite this odd turn of events and my suspicion behind these "innocent" questions, I was secretly intrigued. I still wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't gathering information to use against me later, but a pleasant Edward was pleasing to talk to.

"What's your favorite dessert or snack?"

I thought for a moment, but couldn't come up with any in particular.

"I don't know. It depends what I'm in the mood for, but if I had to pick then I guess it would be banana chips."

"What's mine?" he asked with a smile. He knew I knew, but _I_ still knew what he didn't.

"_My_ walnut brownies," I smirked. His brows scrunched together in confusion. "Ask your mother what that means."

. . . .

"If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?"

"New York or Chicago."

"Why?"

"I've never had authentic New York or Chicago style pizza." I took a breath, smirking. "And before you ask, if _you_ could go anywhere in the world it would be Narnia – if it actually existed."

"Non-fictional?" I could hear the amusement in his voice.

It was a trick question. "You'd let a dart decide."

. . . .

"What's you favorite television show?"

"I don't have one; I don't watch it much."

"My favorite show is…"he prompted.

"The Big Bang Theory and Leonard is your favorite character. It's a funny show. I've seen it a few times."

. . . .

"Do you have names picked out for the babies?"

"Yes, I do, Edward." I hung up the phone. Some things just couldn't be known yet.

_**~When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, and now you're bleeding~**_

One of the bad things – among many – about living in a small town was that a vast majority of the medical professions had an office in the hospital. The podiatrist was located in the basement while the ENT was on the third. The only doctor that managed to escape occupying space in the hospital was the optometrist, but even she was right across the street.

The chances of running into Edward were pretty much guaranteed. Seeing him in person didn't bother me much anymore, especially since his frequent visits to my check out lane. I just didn't want to see him _today_. I was starting a little late into my term, but today was my first Lamaze class. I wasn't particularly interested in a certain birthing method, but more curious to see if it could actually help make it easier to push two watermelons out of my lemon.

Hesitant and anxious didn't even begin to explain how I was feeling about taking the class. I was positive I would be turned away because I didn't have a partner, but I was assured that it wasn't necessary to take the classes. It was helpful, but not required. Emmett offered to come with me, as did Charlie and Rosalie, but I wanted to do this on my own. I was going to be in that delivery room on my own and I wanted to know I could do it on my own. I was hoping that the classes would help prepare me for that.

I walked into the room that was converted to look almost like a small lecture hall. It wasn't at all what I was expecting. There was a thin podium and large television at the front of the room. There were also four rows of chairs facing the front.

There were only four couples occupying the seats. I guess it was asking too much to have a single teen mom in the class with me. I took a seat in the back row, trying to avoid as much attention as possible and not draw to the fact that there was no doting father holding my hand.

Not five minutes later the instructor strolled into the class. She was an older lady who seemed to have a pleasant disposition. Her smile was wide and never faltering as she introduced herself to the nine people sitting in front of her.

"I think it would be a good idea to introduce ourselves to each other. Having plenty of support during this fragile and miraculous time is very important," she prattled. "Since everyone in this room is going through the same course in life, it's just another shoulder to lean on. Another hand to scratch that itch that you just can't reach," she snickered.

I would have rolled my eyes if I wasn't so preoccupied with being embarrassed that I was alone during this "fragile and miraculous" journey. What was I supposed to say to these people? "Hey, I'm Bella. I'm a single mother who got knocked up by my best friend's brother. Were we in love, you ask? No. He was drunk and I was obsessed."

I listened to Mary introduced herself and her husband who were having a girl. Annie and her fiancé, George, who were expecting two boys. Sandra and her husband of six years didn't care what they were having as long as the baby was healthy. Jeanne and her girlfriend, Carol, who were also expecting a girl.

Then it was my turn. It would be my luck that these were the most attentive people in Forks. I felt every eye on me as I stood and smiled meekly. "Hi. Um… my name is Bella. My due date is in November and I'm having twins."

The creaking sound of the door saved me from having to explain anything further. Never was I more appreciative for late arrivals. I breathed a sigh of relief as I sagged back into my seat.

The instructor's brows furrowed. "Is there something I can do for you, Dr. Cullen?"

I whipped around in my seat to see my worst nightmare standing in the doorway. What the hell was he doing here?

"Oh, no need, Mrs. Berty. I'm just running late. I'm here with Bella," he explained.

"I didn't know…Are you two…," she stuttered, unsure of what exactly the relationship was between Edward and me. If she only knew the truth.

Finally, after getting her bearings, she cleared her throat and began the introduction to the class and what we could expect to learn. I was only half listening. Most of my attention was on the man sitting next to me, his breath even as he listened and took notes. Ever thorough, that one.

Was he going to attend all these classes with me or was this a fluke? How did he even know? I bet it was that son of a bitch, Emmett.

"I thought that to start off we'd watch a birthing video. It'll give you all a very good idea of what it will be like to give birth. Now remember, every birth is different so don't expect what you see in the video to be exactly what you experience when the time comes." She inserted a DVD into the player. "This particular video depicts a natural birth." She walked to the back of the room to switch off the lights. "If anyone is interested in watching a birth via c-section, let me know and I'll see what I can do." She pressed the play button and took a seat in the front row. The light from the television illuminated the room.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered once I knew everyone was engrossed in the video.

"I came to be your partner," he answered without taking his eyes off the TV.

"But how did you know I was here?"

"I have my ways," he smiled. I bumped his shoulder with my own, clearly not amused. He quickly looked my way then back to the front. "I called your house and your father told me. I was on duty so I was already in the building."

"That didn't mean you _had_ to come. I didn't ask you to."

"I was…curious. Does it bother you that I'm here?" He was finally looking right at me, any hint of ease now gone.

"I…don't know," I answered honestly. I didn't know if I was necessarily bothered, as opposed to shocked as hell. "I planned on doing this by myself."

"I _know_, Bella." The look in his eyes held no room for argument. I felt like I should have known what he meant by that, but I didn't. I didn't understand a lot about the man that I thought I knew everything about. If he knew, why bother showing up? Why bother acting like he was merely curious? He was a doctor. He knew how these things went.

Maybe he secretly enjoyed having this power over me. He held my heart in a vice grip and every seemingly kind act was just another tightening squeeze.

Finally turning my attention to the video, I couldn't help but cringe at the sight plastered on the large television for all to see.

The birthing mother's legs were spread wide with absolutely nothing hidden and not a lick of shame. I guess that was to be expected, though. Her hisses and strangled cries could be heard throughout the video. Was this supposed to be helpful? I couldn't keep still in my seat as a doctor and multiple nurses peered down at what was supposed to be her most private part.

Though he wasn't visible through most of the video, I could faintly hear the lady's partner cooing words of strength and encouragement throughout the process.

"… an episiotomy," the doctor informed both the nurses and mother. "She's not tearing as expected."

What? The? Actual fuck?

I watched, horrified, as the doctor took fancy scissors to the lady's hooha.

"What the hell are they doing?" I whispered to myself. I heard Edward whimper beside me. I thought he'd be used to this type of gruesomeness. When the noises didn't stop I became concerned. However, Edward wasn't watching the video, but rather down at his lap. It wasn't until then that I realized my fingers were digging into his arm.

"Oh, shit." I yanked my hand back. "Fuck." I leaned down to get a better look and saw that I broke skin. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I have…hold on." I frantically began searching through my bag. When the hell did my bag become so fucking deep and cluttered. "Here…here…here." I clumsily fumbled with the band aid. I scowled at the perfect couple that turned and told me to hush.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I placed the band aid to cover the slight blood from the wound. "I didn't realize I grabbed you. I just saw them cutting that lady and freaked out a bit."

"It's okay and I'm fine. It's not much of a wound." He gently removed my hand that lingered on his arm longer than necessary. "Episiotomies aren't as common much in child birth as they used to be, Bella. Luckily, the female can receive an epidural and won't feel much below the waist. Or, she's already in so much pain that she doesn't notice the incision," he replied as if he was citing the weather for the next week.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Well…yes. It's important that you're informed and know what to expect. It'll make the whole experience easier. Many times couples go into the birthing suite not knowing what to expect and aren't prepared for the surprises that they encounter during this time. At least if you know, you can handle the unexpected properly. In my experience…"

I stood up from my chair so quickly that it fell back with a startling crash. With my hand to my head, trying to fend off the increasing pressure in my head, I rushed out of the room. I didn't know what was wrong with me or where this sudden anger came from, but Edward's games were definitely the cause of it. I was tired, hungry, and ninety percent sure I was freaked out about giving birth like never before.

I made it as far as the elevator before I felt Edward's hand on my arm.

"Bella what's wrong? Was the video too much?" His once adorable naivety was simply pissing me off now.

"No. _You_ are just too much." I wiped away angry tears. "In my experience," I imitated his voice horribly. "I'm glad _you_ have experience in all this, but I don't have shit. You're not the one that has to give birth to two children. You're not the one fucking scared out of your mind. I don't need you telling me that I should be properly informed. What the fuck does that even mean?"

I turned and walked away. I didn't care that people were trying to pretend that they weren't being nosey. Before I could get too far, though, I headed straight back to Edward, but made sure to lower my voice. Apparently, I wasn't done. "You know what I do need? I need you to man the fuck up and admit that these are your babies. I need you to promise me that you'll be in that room with me when I'm giving birth to _our_ children – that I don't _have_ to do it without you. I need you to love these kids despite your feelings for me. I need you to be a father, not a doctor." I jabbed my finger into his chest. "What I _don't_ need, Edward, is to know how much experience you have. Save that shit to impress your girlfriend."

"I di-didn't mmmean to…" he stuttered heavily.

"And that's the problem – you don't know what you mean," I said, cutting him off. "First, we were friends, then you hate me for something I never meant to happen. Now, out of the blue, you act like you want to be friends again and pretend like you didn't constantly disrespect and treat me like trash. What does all _that_ mean?" I asked rhetorically. "You can't answer because you don't know. Do me a favor, Edward, and leave me alone until you figure it out. I'm too tired and too pregnant to be playing this guessing game with you."

**AN: So yea…**

**Story rec's I'm looking for: rich/stuck up high school/college Edward. Thanks in advance.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I guess this is where I apologize for updating so late, but at this point, did you expect anything else from me? An update on Valentine's Day. Isn't it fitting? **** Happy Valentine's Day! A day I'm sure Emmett and Bella still hate.**

**A quick update on what's going on with me for those interested. Remember I told you about my manager who went on disability months ago? Well she decided not to come back and I completely dislike my new manager. I don't see myself at the bank much longer. **

**If we're friends on FB, then you might have read about my cat. For those who aren't, my cat became sick. There was a mass growing behind her eye, making it bulge out and having permanent vision loss in that eye. She wasn't eating and was hiding all day. The animal eye specialist (I didn't even know that was a thing until this happened), and the vet both agreed that whatever was going on was very bad. She was put on steroids, we had her eye removed and a biopsy done. It wasn't to cure her, but just relieve some discomfort. Long story short (or maybe it's too late for that), it was nothing short of a miracle. She has one less eye, but she's back to her old self. I never updated on FB bc one of my friends there lost her dog the same day I got the results and I thought it would be very insensitive of me. Not to mention everyone seems to be losing a loved one this year.**

**Anyway, that's my long ass AN with my long ass two months. I guess all that's left now is to move on to the story…**

"Do you know what an episiotomy is?" I asked Rosalie, who I knew was only half listening as she tinkered with a small, greasy car part.

"Huh?" she grunted as she picked up a screwdriver.

"It's when a doctor takes these long freaking scissors and cuts your vajay-jay open," I explained intelligently.

"What?" Now I knew I had her attention. "That doesn't make sense. It's already…open."

"Yeah, but it's not open enough to let the baby out. Apparently, women tear in order to have the baby and if they don't tear enough, the doctor takes matters into his own hands."

I watched Rosalie's face morph into many types of disturbed. For her sake, I was going to change the subject but, with a shudder, she beat me to it.

"I heard Esme talking to Alice about throwing you a baby shower."

"What?" She had to have heard wrong.

"I'm serious. It was two days ago – something like that. She told Alice that the babies would be here soon and since you never mentioned anything about a shower, she should throw it."

There were many things going through my head, but I asked what stuck out the most. "Why would she talk to Alice about it?"

"Well, it's not like you've been around the house to talk to," Rose countered.

I pointed a finger at her. "You know why I stay away from that house."

"I know. I'm just saying. She's excited, though. The babies will be here soon and she's probably going through her own type of nesting phase. These are her first grandchildren, after all." My thoughts wandered to Alice and I couldn't help but feel a little sad for her. She should have had the honor of giving her parents their first grandchild.

I shook my head. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not? Are you planning a baby shower?"

"No. I didn't plan on having one at all."

"What? A baby shower is one of the perks of being pregnant."

"I have my reasons. I kind of feel shitty for basically ignoring them and now they want to throw me a baby shower. That makes me feel worse." It made me feel like the gold digger that Edward accused me of.

"Well, it's certainly not bothering Esme so that can't be your excuse."

"Okay. Secondly, a baby shower usually entails inviting friends, and I literally only have three friends, two of which are male."

"A baby shower can be co-ed."

"We could invite stray cats and there still wouldn't be enough guests."

"Bella," she chided. "Stop. You don't need to have a hundred people there. Even if it's only two, you'll know it's two people that love you."

"I'll think about it," I conceded.

"No, you won't," she mumbled.

I was about to tell her she was wrong, but I was silenced by my phone.

"Hey Jasper. What's up?"

"Hi, Bella. Can you hold on for a second?" he asked.

"Sure." A second later I was surprised by a familiar voice.

"Hello, Bella?" Alice asked on the other end.

"Yeah. Hi, Alice." Rosalie looked up questioningly. All I could do was shrug in response. I had no idea.

"Um…my mom wanted to know if you're registered anywhere?"

"Registered for what?" Rosalie shook her head and smirked before going back to play with her…whatever it was. I gave her the finger when she wasn't looking. Apparently, she saw, though, since she gave it right back.

"For, like, baby stuff," she answered.

"Oh. Uh, no. I didn't know I had to register for this stuff. I can't just go into a store and buy things?"

"No, you can. But we just thought, for the baby shower…" she trailed off hesitantly.

"There is no baby shower, Alice." I informed her.

"As in you didn't plan one?"

"No, I didn't. It wasn't something I thought about."

"Well, my mom and I would be happy to throw you one."

I walked away to give myself some privacy. It's not that I thought Rosalie was eavesdropping, but I didn't want her to hear anything personal from me. Alice should be the one to tell people her private business.

"Look, Alice, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think it's a good idea. I don't want this to…bring back painful memories."

She was silent on the other end. I wasn't trying to cross some invisible line, but I wanted to spare her heartache.

"Thank you for thinking of me, Bella," she finally began, "it's more than I ever did for you, but really, I'm okay. I actually thought about how a baby shower would make _me_ feel, and I think I would be able to handle it. Don't let my situation hold you back from your baby shower."

"It's not just that, though," I assured her.

"What else then?" she pressed.

"I don't have anyone to invite to a baby shower," I confessed, more than slightly embarrassed to be revealing this to Alice.

"It can be co-ed." I rolled my eyes as she repeated Rosalie's logic. Was I the only one who never considered a co-ed shower?

"It still wouldn't be very many people."

"Then we can make it purposely small – just family," she argued.

"My family only consists of Charlie and me…and Sue."

There was another moment of silence. The difference this time was that I could feel the awkwardness behind it. "And us."

"Edward's side," I reiterated slowly. "Edward doesn't want to be the father. How does that look that his family throws me baby shower for kids he doesn't want to acknowledge? Can't you see the problem with that?" I asked.

"Not really," she answered nonchalantly. "Edward knows the truth, but he's an idiot." This was the first time that Alice seemed to defend me and I was taken aback. "We know, too, so it's a moot point. Edward can be there, or he can _not_ be there. It wouldn't make a difference."

I moved further away from Rosalie to make extra sure she couldn't hear either side of the conversation.

"Why are you doing this, Alice? Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" I questioned suspiciously. "Is it Esme or Jasper forcing this on you?"

There was a heavy sigh on her end. "Look. I get why you think I'm not doing this voluntarily, or second guess my intentions. No one's making me do anything. I _want_ to do this. That's my nieces or nephews you're carrying and I want to be a part of their lives. Whether you realize it or not, those babies are extremely important to this family. My mom and dad are over the fucking moon that they're going to be grandparents. Emmett's already shopping online for infant size jerseys."

"And Edward?" I asked sarcastically, cutting her off.

"I can't…tell you that," she answered nervously. "I told you he was an idiot, but if you never believe a thing I say for the rest of your life, believe me when I tell you that he's coming around."

"Well, that's very cryptic."

"I know," she sighed. "He told me about what happened the other day…at the hospital."

"What?" I yelped, quickly looking behind me to make sure Rose hadn't heard. "Why?"

"I don't know. I think that he needed to talk to someone about it and I was his best choice. Emmett's your best friend and really protective of you so I think Edward didn't want to go to him. Mom and dad are Team Bella so…"

"So did he tell you I flipped out on him?" I asked heatedly, ready to defend myself against whatever he might have said about me.

"No," she trailed on, genuinely confused. "He gave me a recap of what happened and said that he did something to upset you."

"Did he tell you what he did?"

"Not really. All he said was that something he said offended you."

I had to admit that I was surprised that Edward didn't take the opportunity to bad mouth me to his sister that – for all he knew – absolutely hated me. He could have said anything about me and had Alice rooting him on, adding fuel to the fire.

"You know what, it doesn't even matter. Your brother and I," I sighed. "I just don't think we'll ever see eye to eye." Among other things we'd never be.

I heard Alice mumbling to someone one the other end before returning to the line. "Sorry to cut this short so abruptly, but can you just do me – Esme – the favor and at least think about the baby shower. It would mean a lot."

I hated that she threw Esme into the mix. For someone who didn't know me at all, Alice sure knew all the right buttons to push. Despite not having a real conversation with Esme in weeks, she was still someone I would drop everything for and run to.

"I'll think about it, Alice," I sighed. "I'll let you know either way by the end of the week."

"Thank you so much. I know I don't deserve it, and you probably don't care, but it would mean a lot to me to be able to do this for you."

"I appreciate the sentiment," I assured her. It was still so weird speaking to her cordially and not wanting to smash her face against a brick wall. I wondered if she felt the same.

_~No I won't fill your mind with broken promises, and wasted time~_

When the bookstore came to Forks, it was a big deal as we had nothing as entertaining as it promised to be. It was the biggest retail establishment the small town had. With a bookstore and coffee shop combo it had become an unexpected hangout for all ages in Forks. Personally, I had never spent too much time inside – I was in and out once I got my coffee. However, in recent days, I found myself in the family planning aisles getting in some last minute research.

Currently, I had a small stack of books, a large decaf coffee, and an uncomfortably full bladder. I had come to hate sitting down as it was always a struggle to get back up. No matter how low or high I was, standing upright was a two-handed job. If standing was a hassle, walking seemed almost back-breaking. At this point, my feet were constantly swollen, my back always hurt, and my belly felt like it was going to explode, and of course, the bathroom was at the other end of the store.

_Six more weeks left._

No matter where I went, though, it seemed that my peace never lasted very long. If I had thought not replacing my cell phone would work, I was very mistaken. Everyone had a Bella radar and easily found me.

"Excuse me," I muttered and maneuvered around Edward who was standing over my table and hovering over the books. Bracing my hands on the table, I slowly lowered myself onto the hard wooden chair as he watched. "Can I help you with something?" I asked cordially.

"Can I sit with you?" he asked quietly, pointing to the chair opposite me. I shrugged indifferently. I would be lying, though, if I said that the thought of having him so close didn't put me on edge. Things were not even close to be settled between us from weeks ago, but despite my hard feeling, my body seemed to sing whenever he was close. It was something I couldn't help.

"Don't work today?" Why was I bothering to make conversation? I was still pissed and the last thing I should have been worrying about was making this comfortable for him.

"Um…no. It's an actual day off," he chuckled nervously, fidgeting with one of the books I was reading earlier. "Not on call or anything." I studied his hands, gloriously clean and soft looking, as he pushed the book aside and cleared his throat. "What about you? Are you on maternity leave yet?"

"Not yet. Another three weeks." He scowled at me. "What?"

"Don't you think that you should-" I gave him a withering look. "Sorry. Never mind." He held his hands up in surrender.

"So what are you doing here, Edward?" I finally asked. We could go back and forth all day and talk about absolutely nothing. I may not have been doing anything important at the moment, but that didn't mean I wanted to waste my time drowning in awkwardness and tension.

He tucked his chair in and leaned his forearms on the table. His clear, green eyes burned into mine. "Can we…talk?"

"We are talking, Edward."

"No…I mean yes…," He was visibly flustered and having a hard time of this. I couldn't bring myself to find his current state entertaining. "I mean, yes, we are talking now, but do you have some time talk to me? Like a real conversation?"

"I have the time, but nothing to say to you that I haven't already said."

"Fair enough," he agreed, "but there are things that I need to say if you're willing to hear me out."

"The floors all yours."

He smiled shyly, nervously, before taking a deep breath. "The day at the hospital – the Lamaze class? A lot has happened since then. I spent a lot of time going over our conversation and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why you were so upset. I needed someone to talk to about this, but I couldn't go to my family. I did talk to Alice, but it was more to vent than anything else. After a few days of driving myself crazy over it, I finally went to Kate to get her perspective on it." I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes. If it wasn't such a struggle to get out of this chair I would have already walked away. "You don't like Kate?" he asked sincerely.

Jeez, he was so fucking obtuse.

"Kate's great," I disagreed. "What was her take on it?"

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but didn't call me out on my bullshit. "Well, she believes that you were upset because," he shifted, "I was more knowledgeable about the birthing process than you were. She thought that maybe you were intimidated and that caused you to become angry with me."

I chuckled darkly. That chick knew absolutely nothing. "Did you agree with her?" After a few seconds to think about it, he shook his head. "Why not?"

"It doesn't seem like something you would get mad over."

"Because you know me so well?" I asked sarcastically.

"Look, Bella." He was frustrated now, but nothing like he'd been all these months. This was frustration born of defeat and confusion. This was frustration I knew all too well. "I want to apologize for what I did that day, but I still don't know what I did. Was it because I went to the class? I thought you'd appreciate having a partner."

"But _why_, Edward?" I asked loudly, matching his position of leaning on the table. "_Why_ did you care if I had a partner at the class? _Why_ did you take it upon yourself to be my partner? I was-"

"I asked my mom what you meant when you brought up my favorite dessert," he cut me off. "Apparently, my favorite brownies are yours. All the care packages I received in college contained the brownies that you made for me."

I smiled at the memory. Brownies were always Edward's favorite. I came across a recipe that I thought Edward would like. I was wrong – he loved them. But he always thought they were Esme's. When she found out how much Edward loved them, she asked for the recipe, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her. Even if he didn't know they were mine, it still felt like a special connection that we had. Esme eventually stopped asking and would just let me know when she was getting another care package ready.

"I asked her to make me brownies," he continued, looking somewhere over my shoulder. "They were good, but they weren't the ones I remembered in college."

"I don't get what this has to do with what we were talking about."

He sighed heavily. "It may not seem like it, but I'm _trying_, Bella. The best I know how. I want to apologize, but you need to tell me what I did."

"You did a lot, Edward," I snapped. "Do you want me to start from the day we fucked on the bathroom sink or just the day in the hospital?"

He paled visibly and swallowed hard. He removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. I stared at him and the tears I saw him rub away.

"Can we…just talk about the day in the hospital?" he asked, just above a whisper.

God! I hated seeing him like this. It hurt me to see him in such distress. Despite everything he put me through – the tears and stress – I had no ill will towards him. Love was a very powerfully stupid thing.

"Edward," I sighed. "As hard as it may seem, look at things from where _I'm_ coming from. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I've been scared out of my mind. Every new trimester, every kick, every ultrasound it was me, by myself. That day at the hospital? I thought you finally understood, but then you go all doctor on me. Don't you get it, Edward?" I wiped the tears to help clear my vision. "I get that you have Kate now, but the least you could do is be my friend. Do you know how it makes me feel when you can speak so calmly about everything while I'm freaking out inside? I want you to be scared with me. Even if you're scared that these babies might actually be yours."

"I am trying to be your friend, Bella," he replied passionately. "That's what I thought I was doing. I showed up to the class to be there for you. I _saw_ that you were having a hard time with the video so I was trying to explain to you that what we were watching was a common occurrence." I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm trained to be calm. I'm a doctor. That's how I work through things logically. I _need_ to. That's how I cope with stress." My breath hitched and I sat up in surprise when he grabbed and held my hand. "I'm sorry, Bella. It might be hard to believe, but I'm trying to be your friend the best I know how. I thought talking you through it would help because it would help me. I…I should have known that it wasn't the best route, but…" he trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. He looked defeated and lost. I hated seeing him like this. I'd see the same look at various points in his high school and college years. Unsure if he was making the right moves in life and second guessing the ones already made.

"Edward. I appreciate the apology. I should have realized that's what you were trying to do, but in the moment? It felt like another inadequacy between us. These days I run mostly on emotion," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"You never said that you accepted my apology," he stated instead.

"I can accept that apology," I assured him hesitantly.

"But…" He was a smart one.

"But you've done me wrong for a long time now. The things you've said and done to me can't just be swept under the rug…if that's you intent," I added. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he had no intention of apologizing for all these past months. And maybe I had just made a huge ass of myself in assuming that's where he was heading.

"I got into an argument with my parents," he said, switching gears – changing the subject.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but um…that's really none of my business."

"It was about you," he interrupted. "More specifically, about that check they gave you. Carlisle noticed that it never cleared and brought it up to Esme." I held my breath, not wanting to miss one word of whatever was coming next. "I told them about what happened." I chuckled darkly, thankful that it wasn't me.

He squinted his eyes and shook his head, looking as if he was still trying to come to grips with what happened. His eyes still glistened with unshed tears. "We've…never had an argument like that before."

"I'm surprised they haven't called me," I muttered. Not that it was a conversation that I had wanted to have with either of them. I remembered that day perfectly and it's not a memory I wanted to rehash.

"This only just happened," he explained. "I asked them to give me a few days to speak to you about it."

"So you came here? How did you know where I was?"

"I didn't. Merely a coincidence. I did see you here before you left the table, though. I was working up the nerve to approach you."

I nodded. "Are you not on speaking terms with them?"

He huffed out a laugh. "No, we're talking. We all also agreed that it's time I moved out."

"What?" I shouted, forgetting where I was. "Did they kick you out?" I asked, completely aghast.

He didn't immediately answer which was just as good as if he had answered. "I'll talk to them, if you'd like," I offered. "I don't want to be the reason your family falls apart," I cried.

"No, Bella, no," he answered softly. "They…suggested that it was time I moved out. They were right. I'm thirty years old with a successfully growing career. I should have left a long time ago."

"Then why haven't you?"

"Because it was nice having people who supported me constantly around. Every time I felt insecure or had a rough day at work I knew I had good people to come home to. Why leave that?" He shrugged, maybe in defeat. "I had it good – too good. My family always had my back. That's what family does."

"_I've_ always had your back."

"And you've always been family," he countered.

"So then why treat me like pariah?"

"Honestly? I don't know." He shook his head and began playing with a corner of one of the books that were forgotten. "You've never done anything to give anyone the impression that you were anything but sincere," he finally admitted. It felt like a small victory. "But c'mon, Bella. How could someone like me really believe someone like you is genuinely interested? I got picked on by girl like you. The popular, pretty ones. The ones that wanted help with their homework or needed a target for a mean joke. That's me, Bella – the nerdy joke.

"But I would never," I disagreed heatedly. "I wasn't the popular, pretty one in school. I was the one that just skated by with the help of her best friend. I may not have been the butt of a joke, but I know what it feels like to be used to get closer to someone else."

"I know." He dripped shame.

"So you treated me badly because of your own insecurities?" I asked for clarifiction. "Do you understand have fucked up that it?"

"I do…now. Back then, and even now, I have a hard time believing that someone would actually choose to be with me and have no ulterior motive." After all this time he still didn't believe me and nothing that I said would change that. "Can I ask you a question?" I nodded. "Why treat me like I'm special?"

"I want to tell you it's because you're family, but we both know it goes beyond family. So honestly? I don't know, either." I continued on, though. "There was always something about you. Truly love at first sight. It's a splendid thing, huh?"

"For what it's worth, I'm offering my most sincere apology for how harsh I've been to you. You never deserved any of it. In my heart, I never believed those things I accused you of. It was just easier to be mean than to actually believe that you actually choose to be with me for me. You're a catch, Bella. You're loyal, hard-working, friendly…beautiful. Whoever gets the pleasure of marrying you should surely consider themselves lucky."

This is what I've waited forever to hear. For him to admit and see the error of his ways and confess them to me. I never wanted him to gravel, beg, or plead for my forgiveness. That's not what any of this was about. At the end of the day, I wanted to know that I had a partner in Edward. Yet, I felt none of that.

Hearing him say all those wonderful things about me did nothing for my ego or bruised feelings. If anything, it cemented the notion that Edward never saw himself with me. _Someone_ else would be luck to marry me. Not him, though.

"Thank you, Edward. That's all I needed to hear from you. I can forgive you and, eventually, I might forget, but how do I begin to trust you?"

"It won't start with anything I say," he confirmed. I agreed. "But is it too late to try?"

"No."

**AN: So? Thoughts on Edward? Alice? Let me know. Until next time.**


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, Bella," Jane called out to me as I clocked in for my morning shift. "Marcus wants to see you in his office when you get the chance."

"Am I…did I do something wrong?" I asked while trying to tie the strings of my apron. Every day I tried and every day I failed. Eventually they would just hang loose.

"No."

"Okay. Well, then, do you know what it's about?" I tried instead.

"Yes."

"And you're not going to tell me?" I assumed.

"No."

I huffed with annoyance. "I'm going to talk to him now. If he's going to fire me, I'd rather him do it before I gave him my time."

"You're not getting fired, Bella," Jane finally replied with more than one word.

With a final huff, I waddled my way towards the steps leading to the office and slowly heaved myself up said steps with one hand clutching the railing and the other pressed against the wall. I had to be getting fired. There was no other explanation of the torture of climbing the metal mountain while I was carrying two boulders in my belly.

I knocked tentatively on the office door when I saw that Marcus wasn't alone. The stranger turned his head at the sound that disturbed their conversation.

Holy hell!

I stared wide-eyed and silently. He was absolutely gorgeous. Dirty blond hair sat atop a heart shaped-face with the most enticing hazel eyes. His lips were pouty and deliciously kissable. A sexy amount of stubble coated his strong jaw that led to his imperfectly manly nose. And Lord help me, his muscular arms were a sight to behold all on their own.

Was it hot in here or was it just him?

"Hey, Bella!" Marcus greeted me. "Come in," he instructed. I watched as the visitor stood while I further entered the small room. "Bella, this is Cauis. He's an independent accountant who we brought in to better organize our books."

I eagerly grabbed his outstretched hand and could feel heat warming my cheeks when I felt his hand in mine.

"Lovely to me you, Bella," he responded with a light English accent.

Well, fuck…me! Please.

"You, too. Thanks." I felt stupid just talking to him so before I said something that proved my feelings correct, I turned back to Marcus. "Jane said that you needed to speak with me."

"Yeah." He turned to Cauis. "We'll finish speaking later, okay? Jane can show you around in the meantime."

"Not a problem." He shook Marcus' hand. "Bella." Why did it sound like he moaned my name? I was losing it. Again, he offered me his hand and again I had to stop myself from snatching his. "It was a pleasure." Very slowly and very delicately his placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

A whimper. I definitely whimpered. I was also not surprised to find that he had a beautifully plump ass. I was not ashamed to admit I watched him walk away.

"Have a seat," he encouraged with a smirk on his face. I had no shame. I was a young, horny, and very pregnant.

"So how's the pregnancy coming along?" Marcus asked, making futile small talk. I didn't make the arduous trek up those forsaken steps for small talk.

"It's…moving along quickly," I answered, playing along. "I go on maternity leave in a few weeks," I reminded him.

"About two and a half, right?" I nodded affirmatively. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

"Okay," I responded defensively as I sat up straighter in my chair. He was the store manager so I was assuming that he knew there were laws protecting me. _If_ he was going to prevent me from taking my leave.

"Don't look at me like that, Bella," he scoffed. "I'm not firing you or anything. The opposite, in fact."

"What?" Now he really had my attention.

"Have you spoken with Jane?"

At that I had to roll my eyes. It was like a conspiracy between them. "I _tried_, but she wouldn't tell me anything. She told me to talk to you so here I am. Now talk to me."

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "That girl. She puts up this hard front, but I know that she's a softy inside."

"Not to be rude while you're having your Jane moment, but what does any of this have to do with me and my maternity leave?"

There was a long sigh. "Long story short, Jane is leaving us to get married. We need a replacement and she suggested you."

"What?" I asked again. Nothing about where this conversation was going was making sense.

"I guess this_ is_ going to be a long story," he laughed. "Jane came to me a few days ago and informed me that at some point she would be resigning. Her fiancé will be transferring to New Mexico for work, but it wouldn't be for another two months. Needless to say, Jane will be going with him and that's where you come in. Consider this," he said, pointing between the both of us, "me offering you her position if you'd like it."

"But Jane's assistant store manager," I clarified for Marcus, the general store manager – the man who actually hired Jane.

"Yes, I am aware of that," he responded slowly, as if I was daft. In his defense, I was acting like it.

"But why me?"

"Why not you?" he countered.

"What about Shelly? She's been here longer than I have." Why was I fighting this? Marcus was trying to promote me and I was giving him a hard time.

"Yes, but she's only part time. She doesn't want to commit all her time to work. She wants to spend time with her grandkids and her husband just recently retired." He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk. "The truth of the matter, Bella, is that after Jane, you're the best person for the job. You know the customers and they love you. You can ring, stack, inventory, and whatever else your job entails. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you didn't need much training. I think you're the right person to take over."

I was absolutely speechless. I knew I did a good job and worked hard. I never did it for praise, obviously, but it was nice to know that my work was noticed and appreciated. I was never under the impression that I was providing some great service to the community, like Edward, but I liked my job and the recognition filled me with pride.

"I want you to think about this before you give me an answer, Bella," he continued. "It is a promotion, which means more money, but it also means more responsibilities and more hours. Really consider whether it's something you can handle along with being a new mother. Now don't get me wrong, I think you're more than qualified for it, but I also don't want you to take on more than you can handle."

"What about my maternity leave?"

"That'll stay the same. If you decide to take the position, you're training wouldn't start until after you come back. It was something that I discussed with Jane. If it came to it, she's willing to stay behind for a few weeks to complete your training."

"Wow," was all I could come up with after a minute of digesting everything he told me. I was…honored and most likely going to accept the position. More money was something I was definitely going to need. I just needed to figure out childcare, but that was going to be an issue no matter how many hours I worked.

"Don't give me an answer today. Go home tonight and think about it. You can let me know tomorrow or sometime this week."

I nodded and slowly began lifting myself off the seat. "Thank you, Marcus. This is…" I shook my head slowly as I could feel my emotions taking hold. "Thank you," I croaked.

"Please don't cry, Bella," he laughed. "My wife would kill me if she found out I made a pregnant woman cry."

…..

The rest of the day wore on along with my energy. I found myself needing to take frequent breaks. It was either my feet aching or my back. Maternity leave couldn't come quick enough.

"Is this seat taken?" Cauis asked when he found me sitting outside. A looked up at him and noticed one slight dimple, not as deep as Emmett's, on his right cheek.

Jesus, this guy was seriously good looking. I felt embarrassed to just be looking at him.

"Um…no. Go ahead."

"Thanks." I watched, unabashedly, the graceful way he moved his body to sit next to me. "I'm Cauis…in case you didn't remember my name," he chuckled.

I felt like a teenager whose crush finally acknowledged her. Biting my lip, I gave him a small smile. "I remembered. I'm Bella."

"I remembered." His smile was beautiful.

The silence was a bit awkward. We were two strangers sitting together – one incredibly handsome and one ready to pop.

"So how are things going?" I finally asked. It seemed like a waste to sit here with him and let the time go by without getting to know him.

"Quite good, thanks." There was a pause. "Actually, Bella, it's a bloody mess," he laughed. I laughed with him. "For a store manager, Marcus isn't very good with record keeping and organizing. Fortunately, he's a good man who does seem to be trying."

I held my aching belly as I laughed. Marcus was a terrible bookkeeper, but somehow he was good at what he did.

"Ow," I laughed out. "I think the babies agree with you. They keep kicking."

"Would it be terribly inappropriate if I asked to feel?" he asked shyly.

Probably, but I agreed. I don't know what the hell made me do it, but before over thinking it, I grabbed his perfectly manicured hand and placed it where the kicks felt most prominent.

"Oh, wow. I felt it!" His excitement made me excited.

"Cool, huh?"

"Very." He slowly pulled his hand away, grazing my side on the way. "I don't mean to be nosey, but I couldn't help but notice that you aren't wearing a ring. Are you and the father not married?"

I looked at my bare left ring finger. There would probably never be a ring on it – no one liked it.

"I'm sorry, that was too personal," he backtracked.

"No. No. It's just…complicated, I guess."

He nodded in understanding. "I hope everything works out the way it should." He sighed wistfully. "I've always found pregnant women to be outstandingly beautiful and strong. My mum was a single mother when she was pregnant with my sister." This time he sighed sadly. "Then my sister found herself pregnant and single at seventeen."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm assuming the father didn't stick around."

"Don't be. Everything's fine now. Austin, the boy that impregnated my sister, talked a big game and convinced her that he would be a brilliant father. Sadly, that was not the case. He moved on to the next pretty girl when my sister was just five months along."

"So…how did she do it?" I asked curiously. I was more than just curious. I needed to know that if someone who was in a similar situation could do it, so could I.

"Well, my family is very close so it was never a question of whether we would help her or not. We rearranged our schedules so she could finish her schooling and not worry about child care. We all lived at home and lent a hand in feeding and bathing and the like. I like to believe that we all helped raise little Jackson."

"Wow," I whispered in awe. "So babies don't intimidate you, I suppose."

"Not at all. I never saw myself as a father before Jackson came along, but I now I can't wait. I found that I am quite good with children." Was that a wink? I think he winked at me.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Cauis, but you're… fucking gorgeous, compassionate, and like kids," I laughed awkwardly. Thankfully, so did he. "Why are you single? What's wrong with you?"

"I'm a workaholic. At least that's what my last serious girlfriend told me. We were together three years when she said she had enough. I didn't pay enough attention or wasn't affectionate enough." He shrugged as if it was a flaw that he had come to accept.

"Really?" I shook my head. "I don't see that about you. You seem like you would be a very affectionate person." Then again, what did I know? I thought I knew Edward, but _that_ didn't work out the way I thought.

"Oh, I can be very affectionate," he soothed, throwing a wink my way. I may or may not have blushed fiercely.

"You're good," I chuckled.

"And you have a beautiful glow." He was _really_ fucking good. He stood from where we sat. "If things stay complicated with the lucky – but stupid – mystery man I hope you look me up."

I would need to keep that in mind.

_**~Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?~**_

"You know, Alice and my mom are very excited that you're allowing them to throw the baby shower for you," Edward commented as he sat on my couch. It was still weird to see him sitting there.

We were working on building a friendship. It was a bit awkward in the beginning as there was not much to talk about aside from the pregnancy. He did keep on with the questions, though, in a continuing effort to get to know me. He stopped testing my knowledge of him. He knew I could write his biography in a weekend.

I shrugged. "I figured it would get Alice off my back and if it makes Ma happy…" I trailed off and shrugged again.

I had agreed to the party last week, but I had a few stipulations. It had to be co-ed. I didn't have many important people in my life, and a majority of them were male. I told Alice that Edward had to be invited as a guest – not as the father of the babies. Kate was also not to be invited or Edward's plus one. I was still petty.

The party was tomorrow and no part of me was looking forward to it.

"What about you? Does it make _you_ happy? Because you don't look happy about it."

I shrugged again. "Eh. It's okay, I guess. I've never been one for parties. I've only ever gone because of Emmett." He rolled his eyes playfully. "What? Do you think I'm this party animal," I laughed.

"Not a party animal, per se, but are you telling me you've never enjoyed any of the parties that you went to?"

"Some of them were fun, but it was only because of Em. I would have easily preferred to stay home with him and hang out. I mean…don't you remember those few times you hung out with us at home? We had fun, no?"

"They were few and far between, though," he responded. It was me. It had to be me because there was no way he actually sounded regretful.

"It wasn't for a lack of trying. There was always some test you were studying for or project you had to finish up," I teased. He looked away with shameful eyes.

"Hey," I called to him to get his attention back. "That's not _bad_ thing. I know you're an adult now, but the world isn't that different from when we were younger. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for what you enjoy. You liked to study and that paid off for you. You should be proud that you accomplished so much in so little time." Without thinking, I quickly leaned over and pat his shoulder. "While you were becoming a doctor, I was flunking out of high school, so you made the right decision not to hang out with us." I tried to lighten the mood and I had no idea if it was working.

"So what's new with you?" he asked, desperately trying to change the subject. "We haven't spoken in a few days."

"I was offered a promotion at work. I don't know if Emmett mentioned that to you."

"He didn't. Congratulations, Bella. What position?" He was genuinely proud.

"Assistant store manager," I answered shyly. "I accepted the offer last week. I'm not a doctor or anything, but it's a step in the right direction career wise."

"Bella," Edward chided. "Stop. Assistant store manager is a big step. You should be proud. Your hard work is being recognized." He gave me a sly and knowing smirk. Touché, sir.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. Even with Edward's encouragement, it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

"What else?"

"Um…I met someone at work," I answered for a lack of anything new to share. Edward's face contorted into something foreign to me. "I made it sound more serious than it really is," I amended. "He's the store's temp accountant. We've had lunch a few times together. He's a nice guy." And breathtaking, I left out.

"And he has no…hang ups on your current…condition?" Edward asked in a tone that seemed to question my judgment.

"You mean me being pregnant?" I asked with wide, questioning eyes. "Yeah, he's aware," I replied sarcastically. "It's kinda hard to hide, but he still seems interested. Hard to believe, huh?"

"That's not what I meant," he sighed. "Does he know about us?" he asked motioning between our bodies.

"What is there to know?" I asked, honestly at a loss of what to say. "We're not together, or anything. I'm not asking him to be a father to my children. We just have lunch sometimes. That's the extant of it," I repeated.

Why was I even explaining this to him? I didn't owe him an explanation for this or anything else.

"It's none of my business," he finally confessed.

"No, it's not," I agreed.

Insert awkward silence here.

"If I asked you questions that were none of my business would you answer them?"

"Probably. I don't really have anything to hide."

"So can I? Ask you some questions?" he proceeded seriously.

"Go ahead." I should have demanded that I get to ask some questions in return, but there was nothing that I wanted to know. I didn't have the strength to know how serious his relationship with Kate was.

It was another silent minute before he asked his first question.

"Do you regret anything from that night?" Well so much for starting out easy.

"One." He waited patiently for me to elaborate, but I could see the anxiety mar his beautiful features as he unnecessarily adjusted his glasses. "I wish that I had stayed the night with you. Maybe things would have turned out differently between us." It probably wouldn't have, but it was nice to dream.

He took another minute to think before continuing. I'm sure he wasn't expecting that answer, but I wasn't going to lie to him. I didn't regret sleeping with him or becoming pregnant. I didn't regret taking his virginity on a bathroom sink or kissing him. I regretted cutting our time short.

"How many people have you been with? Intimately?" he whispered.

My sexual partners seem to interest people these days.

"Including you?" He thought a second then nodded. "Two."

"What? Seriously?" he asked with utter shock.

"You know, I'm really becoming offended," I gritted out. "Rosalie had the same reaction when I told her. Do I have the word slut written across my forehead?"

"No, no, no. I d-didn't mean it l-l-like that." He shook his head and hands furiously. "I don't-t think you're a slut. It's just…you were popular in school. And I thought you and Jasper…,"he trailed off.

Why did it feel like I was having the same conversation with didn't people. I was feeling like I had to validate my actions all over again.

"I wasn't popular in high school – Emmett was. I told you this already. Emmett was the one with all the friends; I was Emmett's shadow." I gave him a pointed look as I threw his words back at him. "People didn't like me. They tolerated me because I was his best friend. Jasper was the only one who saw me as Bella, not Emmett's sidekick. We dated for almost a year, but he went off to college. I didn't want to tie him down during such a big time in his life."

"If he would have stayed in Forks, would you have slept with him?" There was something he was trying to pull out of me, but unless he asked directly, I wasn't giving him extra information.

"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. We had the opportunity before he left, but we didn't. I don't know what that tells you."

"Did you love him? Jasper, I mean."

"I did, but…" I shrugged, not really wanting to finish that sentence. He wouldn't let it go.

"But?" he pressed.

I looked at him straight on. "I loved you more."

I had to give him credit. He didn't shift uncomfortably or cringe away with my admission.

"What about your first partner?" he asked with a falsely confident voice. "Did you love him?"

"No. James was…a good guy that I wronged. I don't want to lessen his character by saying it was a mistake, but it shouldn't have happened." I guess there were things in my past I wasn't willing to divulge, but I didn't want to dirty the James situation any more than it was.

"Thank you. For sharing all that with me."

"Sure. I'm not sure what you gained from it, but you're welcome nonetheless."

Then the king of switching gears went on to say…

"I'm closing on a house in a few weeks." Talk about a mood changer.

"Oh, yeah? That's cool. Emmett didn't mention anything to me about it."

"He doesn't know about it. None of my family does."

I bet Kate knew, though. I had to fight not to roll my eyes and keep my comments to myself. They probably seemed like the perfect little couple house hunting together. Gag me with a spoon.

"It's four bedroom with a big back yard," he vaguely described.

"I thought you wanted a starter home? A four bedroom doesn't sound like a starter home," I replied with unnecessary force. Already planning a family with the pretty nurse?

"That was the original goal when I started saving, yes, but things change. My realtor showed me the house and right away I could picture myself planning the future there. I made an offer the next day and it was accepted." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "I was able to put a substantial amount down."

"Good for you," I replied half-heartedly. "Once again, you shoot for the stars and land on the moon."

"Maybe you can check it out when it's ready," he offered.

"Sure." I probably wouldn't.

_**~Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free~**_

"Do I act surprised?" I asked Rosalie as she stood behind me and fixed my hair.

She looked at me like I was dumb. "Why would you act surprised?" She narrowed her eyes, gauging how stupid I actually was. "You know about the shower."

"I don't know," I replied petulantly. "How should I know how to act? I've never been to a baby shower before," I defended.

"Think of it as going to a birthday party. Everyone is there to pay a little attention to one person, eat free food, talk shit, and have a good time. You're over thinking it."

"Whatever," I mumbled. "Is Edward going to be there?"

"Yes, Bella. Edward is going to be there," she placated me.

"You're supposed to be nice to pregnant women. You'll get a sty in your eye if you don't," I reminded her.

"Sorry, Dr. Swan, I wasn't aware." She rolled her eyes. She was definitely getting a sty. I'd see to it.

"Are you almost done?" I whined. "My back hurts and my tummy itches."

"Yeah, we're done. Finish getting dressed and I'll call over – let them know we'll be on our way."

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was really something. Rose did a good job on my hair and make-up. I could have done it myself, but lately I could find the motivation to anything more than put my hair in a lopsided bun.

It was too bad I had the body of a whale. I would have been really feeling myself if I wasn't so bloated and achy. Where was the glow that I was said to have? It was probably buried under my swollen cheeks and cubby fingers. I was the opposite of a butter face. With a sigh, I heaved myself off the bed and into my closet.

…

I received a loud welcome when I arrived at the rented hall. It _could_ have been a surprise party for all I knew. Charlie and Sue were already there. In fact, everyone was already here. More people than I actually expected. Apparently, Alice and Esme had invited co-workers that I would never have thought to invite. Not because I didn't like them, but because I thought they wouldn't want to come.

Jane and Marcus were there. Even Jessica. Lauren and Angela were in another corner speaking with Emmett.

Even…

"Oh, my God, Tanya! What are you doing here?" I hugged her like it was years instead of months.

"Alice called and told us about the shower. It's only me and Mom, though." She took a step back. "You're huge, Bella," she laughed. "You look like you're overdue."

"Yeah, thanks," I deadpanned.

"Oh, you're beautiful anyway. I can't wait to meet my new cousins. Maybe you'll pop tonight," she squealed.

"Shut your dirty mouth, Tanya." I glared at her. "I'm going to say hi to your mom." I left her laughing. I hoped she choked on her spit.

There were a lot of people here and I surprisingly knew them all. It wasn't like one of Emmett's parties where I maybe knew a handful. I talked to them all – thanking them for coming. Fortunately, not one of them was Kate. However, not one of them was Edward, either.

Before I could make my way over to Emmett and ask about his brother, the man in question was standing in front of me.

"Hi, Bella." He bent forward to place a kiss on my cheek. I may have been frozen in shock. "I'm sorry I'm late. You look very nice."

I stood rooted in my spot, sputtering and trying to find something to say. Edward – the man I was in love with and whose babies I was carrying – gave me a kiss and a compliment.

"I'm…I'm…good." I shook my head to clear the stupid thoughts. "I mean thank you. Thank you for coming. You look very nice."

"Thank you. I had to go home and change – one of the reasons I'm late."

"Don't worry about it."

He graced me with a shy, but indulgent smile. "I'm going to find my parents. I'll catch up with you in a little bit, okay?"

"Sure."

I sat myself down at the nearest table before I fainted. That was my Edward. I knew he couldn't have been a figment of my imagination. He may not have been mine, but that part of Edward would always own a piece of my heart.

"There's the beautiful woman of the hour," a sexy European accent purred to the side of me.

"Cauis?" I almost squealed. He helped me stand up so I could embrace him the best way I could with a big belly in the way. "What are you doing here?"

"I was invited. I hope that's not a problem for you."

"Of course not! I didn't know you were invited, but I'm surprised you'd even want to come. I hope you didn't bring a gift."

"You should know me better than that, Bella. Of course I did."

Jeez, he was good looking.

"I'm glad you came. Really." I was beaming. I knew I was. I could feel my face begin to ache.

We sat there and we talked. I pointed out the most important people at the party and told him a little about them. And like the pregnant lady whisperer he was, sometime during our private conversation, my foot found its way into his lap, receiving a moan inducing rub.

"You're really good at that," I groaned.

"A lot of practice, my dear," he laughed. "Now, tell me. Is the father of these wonderful babies at this party?"

It had not escaped my attention that I hadn't pointed Edward out.

"He is, yes," I confirmed. I would grant him the same courtesy as Edward and not hide anything from him.

"The situation is still complicated, I presume."

"As ever," I laughed.

"Can I guess who the lucky fella is?"

"Knock yourself out."

I watched him scope out the attendees. He gave the critical eye to any perspective males. There weren't many of them, honestly.

"It must be the handsome gentleman with the glasses," he guessed correctly.

"How'd you know?" I was impressed.

"Because if looks could kill I'd be a pile of ashes on the floor right now," he laughed.

"What?" I chuckled with him. I turned to look for Edward. It didn't take long. He was standing by the big wicker chair, glaring in our direction with Emmett whispering in his ear. "Yup. That's him. In all his glaring glory. I'm used to that look from him."

"Is he trying to pursue a relationship with you?"

"No. He has a beautiful girlfriend waiting at home for him. I don't know what his problem is."

"He's jealous," he answered simply, switching feet. I gave him an incredulous look. "I'm serious. I'm a guy and I know how we think. He may not want a relationship with you – and I find that hard to believe – but he's definitely jealous. We can make him really jealous if you'd like." He wagged his eyebrows. I laughed and swatted at him.

"Be nice, Cauis. This is a family friendly party."

"Ah," he sighed. "A man can only hope with a beautiful woman."

We continued to talk until Emmett approached us and introduced himself to Cauis. The two of them talked for a few minutes when it was announced the food would be brought out soon.

"I'm going to talk to Marcus. Bella, I'll speak with you later." He ran his finger down my cheek to my chin and departed. I swooned big time.

The food was delicious and continued to be packed on to my plate as soon as it disappeared. I hadn't overeaten like that in so long.

I mingled when I was able to stand again after fighting off a food coma. Every so often I would catch Cauis' eye from across the room and manage a quick smile before anyone could see.

Edward was attentive and I couldn't help think that Cauis' words were true – that maybe Edward _was_ jealous. But there was nothing to be jealous of. He was the one who rejected me. If he came to me tomorrow and said he dumped Kate and wanted to run away with me I'd go in a heartbeat.

But that wasn't going to happen and Cauis was there – willing to accept me, baggage and all. I was very attracted to him, but nowhere near being in love with him. I could grow to love him, though, and wasn't that best for everyone?

Did I ever mention that I hated opening gifts in front of people? Because I did. It was just as bad as sitting there while everyone sang Happy Birthday. But I sat in the big, fan back wicker chair and opened gift after gift. Clothing and diapers. Bottles and nipples. A baby wipe warmer. A double stroller from Alice and Jasper. A changing table from Tanya and Carmen. Customized Seattle Seahawk infant jerseys with the name Cullen on the back from Emmett. A hi-def baby monitor from Rosalie. Cribs from Carlisle and Esme. High chairs from Charlie and Sue.

Tears and tears. That's all I had to offer all these people besides all my heartfelt thanks. They weren't even dainty, precious tears. They were crazy women sobs.

"I need to pee," I choked out from my seat. Everyone laughed at the crazy crying girl but that was okay.

"I'll help you up," Edward offered quietly. I took his proffered hand with gratitude.

"Thanks." Holding my bulging belly, I walked as quickly to the bathroom as my huge ass would allow. Thankfully, no one offered to accompany me. I needed time to get myself together.

Splashing myself with water – makeup be damned – I made my way back to the party.

"Hi," I greeted Edward as he stood across from the bathroom doorway. "Did you need something?" I questioned.

"Uhh…yeah. I…um…have your gift. I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone, though. Do you…have a minute?" He was adorably nervous.

"Sure. Lead the way."

He took my hand. "Is this okay?" he asked nervously. I smiled shyly and nodded. However, my confusion was evident when he veered away from the hall entrance and toward the exit.

"Where are we going?" Now, I was nervous. It was a chilly November afternoon and not particularly ideal for being outdoors without a jacket.

"It's not going to take long," he assured me. Releasing my hand, he walked ahead and stopped to wait for me when he was a few feet away. "I'm not really sure what to say here so I'll just give you these." He held out a closed fist, waiting for my open palm. I held it out hesitantly, waiting for him to drop a dead bug or something similar.

The light metal and plastic were heavy in my hand. "Edward?" My wide, wet eyes looked into his scared ones. "What is this?"

"This is me offering my most sincere apology. This is me asking you to trust me even though I don't deserve any of it," he answered softly and sincerely. His eyes shone with unshed tears.

"This looks like you bought me a car," I corrected.

"Then it's exactly what it looks like."

"This is not what I wanted from you. I don't want these big gifts, Edward."

"I know you don't. I didn't buy it because I thought you'd want it. I bought it because I know you need it and you'll need it even more in a few weeks. And I was an asshole when I accused you of using my family for their money. I bought it because I can afford it." I opened my mouth to comment, but he cut me off before I could. "I didn't mean it to sound pompous, I'm just stated a fact. Save your money for the babies. They'll need things later than no one thought to gift you now. You shouldn't have to worry about how you're going to get to work or doctor's appointment, or having to constantly pay for repairs if you buy an old model. Something like a car should distract you from the really important things. Let me do this for you, Bella."

I should have presented an argument. Told him that I could take care of myself and, though it would be a struggle, I could buy my own car eventually. I should have told him that a car wouldn't make up for all the tears, heartache, and betrayal I've felt all these months. I should have told him that he didn't need to worry about any distractions from my children's wellbeing.

Instead, I said what I should.

"Thank you, Edward."

Wasn't this what being a mature, responsible adult was about – letting go of past discretions and making amends? Not letting the past dictate the present or future? If Edward was extending the olive branch – more like shoving it in my face – wouldn't I be just as bad as Edward was when my pregnancy was revealed? Refusing to think logically and with too much emotion. I had to look beyond my own pride and bruised ego and toward how this benefited my children.

"Do you want to take a look inside?"

"This is it?" I pointed to the new silver midsized Volvo he was standing next to.

"Yes."

I stepped forward and clicked the fob to unlock and open the door. Immediately, I noticed the two car seats already strapped in the back. I turned back to Edward with fresh tears in my eyes. My Edward.

Overwhelmed with emotion, I stepped back and locked the doors. I couldn't fully appreciate everything if I couldn't keep myself from crying.

Without warning, I wrapped my arms around Edward's waist. I felt him stiffen before awkwardly hugging me back.

"Thank you, Edward," I mumbled into his shirt.

"You're welcome, Bella."

Soon, the party started to trickle outside to come see my brand new car. Edward had kept his gift a secret from everyone, apparently. Esme and Sue wiped tears from their eyes as Carlisle proudly patted his son on the back, followed by Emmett. Charlie glared, but eventually expressed his gratitude. Cauis and Rosalie shared a similar, smug smirk.

Another two hours later, various guests were saying their goodbyes while other helped load gifts into my new car. _My new car! _I would squeal about it in private.

The gifts were then unloaded into my room and scattered around the living room to be sorted at a later time.

I was exhausted and just wanted my bed. Marcus was a fair boss, but not fair enough to give me the following day off.

The Volvo drove like a dream. Handling and breaking were smooth. There was no oil stain or exhaust cloud hovering above the car. I wasn't in constant fear that it would blow up while I was stopped at a light.

There was a built-in GPS –though getting lost in Forks just wasn't possible – and a rear view camera.

And the leather seats! Heated leather seats. My ass never felt so cozy.

I wish I was driving somewhere further than work.

Did I mention the leather seats? The leather seats that were now wet? So unless I pissed myself without knowing…

"No, no, no," I muttered as a pulled over to the side of the road. "That's not how it's supposed to go." I read the books, for fucks sake. As if to punctuate my point, a sharp pain ripped through me.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted as I tried to think through the pain. Taking steadying breathes, I slowly pulled back onto the road. Why the _fuck _didn't I replace my cell phone?

This is what I wanted right? To prove that I could have these babies by myself? Well, I guess I'm getting what I wished for. So why was I suddenly terrified?

**AN: I may take forever, but I always come back. **


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: In honor of Father's Day, here's the next chapter. So happy Father's Day –or – happy Mother's Playing Father's Day!**

"Go around me!" I yelled at the impatient drivers behind me. Did they not see the angrily blinking hazard lights? Or maybe they were just angry in my head.

I made it through months and months of aches and pains, long work hours and sleepless nights. I fought with Edward, his sister and brother, my own mother and father. I sacrificed things I found sacred – like pizza – and my own sanity at times. I did it all for my babies and I'd do it all again. All I had to do now was get myself to the fucking hospital!

"Owww," I cried, gripping the steering the when a sharp pain twisted my abdomen. In an extremely unsafe maneuver, I pulled the new car off to the side of the road as cars blared their horns behind me.

"Breathe," I told myself. Isn't that what Lamaze was? Breathing through the pain? Not that I went back after that one class.

"I can't, I can't, I can't," I chanted during a pain free moment.

A knock on my window startled me, making me jump in my seat and exacerbating the pain on the stomach and back.

I cried in relief at the sight in front of me. I fumbled with the buttons on the door, lowering the windows instead of unlocking the doors.

"Jasper," I cried when we wrenched the door open as soon as I unlocked it. "The babies," I screeched. My hand shot out, latching on to his button down shirt and hearing a slight tearing of a seam.

"Bella. Sweetie," Jasper called out, trying to break through my hysterics. "We need to get you to the hospital," he stated the obvious. "We have to take my car. You're in no condition to drive and, no offense, I'm not sitting in your baby juices." I watched as he cringed slightly. "You have to help me, though, okay?" he asked calmly.

I tried answering, but speaking just took too much effort.

"Alright," Jasper continued, "let's get you out of this fancy car." I let him help me out of my seat that I had become stuck to.

The ten foot walk to the car was slow going as all I could manage was a shuffle.

"I'm going to put you in the back. It's safer there."

"Just get me there," I gritted out.

He slammed the door behind me and jumped into the front. He pulled back into traffic – a lot more safely than I pulled out. One hand was on my huge belly while the other was pressed flat against the window, bracing myself as Jasper weaved through minimal traffic.

I pretended not to hear all the curse words he spat at the little old lady.

"Why aren't you at work, Jasper?" I asked while I was still able to have brief snippets of conversation.

"It's Sunday, Bella," he answered without taking his eyes off the road. "No school on Sundays." I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Whatever," I groused.

I muttered to myself as we passed the grocery store, which was my original destination. I would have to make time to call Marcus and let him know I would be starting my leave a little earlier than planned. Maybe between baby one and two.

"We're here," he calmly stated. How can he be so calm when I'm about to pop these babies out?

Opening my door and gently grabbing my hand, he helped me out of the car and toward the emergency room entrance. Slowly he deposited me on a chair.

"I'm going to get a nurse," he said, placing a firm kiss on the top of my head.

I watched Jasper jog to the nurses' station while I painfully gripped the armrest. The pain wasn't worse, but it wasn't getting better either. The contractions – if that's what they were – were intermittent. I read about contractions, but I'll be damned if I remembered anything I read at this moment.

Jasper came back to sit with me. "They're sending someone with a wheelchair. You okay?" he asked, grabbing my hand. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Just a little right now." I hesitated before speaking again. "Alice told me about…you know. If this is too hard for you, you don't need to stay."

He nodded slowly, a sad smile on his face. He didn't seem surprised that I knew, though. "I'm okay. I've worked through my issues with…that and Alice and I are working toward getting to a better place."

Before I could respond, an orderly came out with a wheelchair.

"How are you doing, Ms. Swan?" he greeted.

"Well," I chirped, "I feel like someone is taking a golf club to my back. How are you?"

He laughed lightly while wheeling me beyond the emergency room lobby.

"We're going upstairs if you want to accompany your wife," the orderly informed Jasper.

"Yes! Of course," Jasper replied before I could correct the misinformed orderly. He threw a wink my way and followed us to the elevator.

The elevator ride was filled with my moaning and groaning – trying to contain whimpers and groans. Jasper's hand was a fixture in my own as a squeezed the life out of it. Only a few times did he actually cringe away.

We were greeted by a nurse as soon as the elevator reached the floor. "Hello, Ms. Swan. So today's the day, huh?" she asked cheerily. "We're going to get you into a birthing suite to check you in and get you hooked up. We need to take a look and see how dilated you are. How does that sound?"

"Whatever," I breathed out as another contraction wrecked through my abs. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I didn't give a shit about anything except delivering the two spawns who were already causing trouble. The apple doesn't fall far, I guess.

I was given a gown to change into once we entered the room. I stood as patiently as I could – which wasn't very – as Nurse Chelsea explained the various monitors that I would be hooked up to.

"Alright, now I just need you to lie back so I can see how dilated you are." She looked between Jasper and me. "Are you staying, daddy?" she asked.

"No, I'm not the dad," he admitted. "I need to make phone calls. I'll be back in a few."

"Jasper, please don't call him," I begged.

"Bella," he sighed. "You know he's going to hate me if I don't."

"He won't," I tried to assure him. "He doesn't want to be here and I don't want him to feel like he_ has_ to be here. Just please don't," I pleaded.

With a groan and a hand roughly through his hair he finally agreed. "I'm calling your father and Emmett, though." He left no room for objection.

"Baby daddy issues?" the nurse mused.

"Like you wouldn't believe," I muttered.

With a grumble and stick eye, he finally left the room and allowed the nurse to legally violate me. I wasn't even get dinner first.

"Okay, Ms. Swan. You're about seven centimeters dilated. We still have a little to wait-"

"What?" I gasped. "How long?" Before she could further explain, another contraction hit. It was the worse one yet.

I couldn't help the cry and tears that fell as the pain suddenly became unbearable.

"Ms. Swan," the nurse called loudly. "You may start to feel the urge to push. Try to resist pushing the best you can. You're not ready for that."

Oh, fuck her! I was ready.

When the pain finally receded, I was able to catch my breath and take stock of the situation. I was in a lot of pain and I was alone. I wanted to be alone to prove to everyone that I could do it by myself. The thing was – I didn't want to be along anymore. I wanted someone who cared about me _with_ me in this room. I needed someone to hold my hand and wipe the sweat that was steadily dripping from my forehead.

Where was Jasper? He loved me once.

"I can't do this," I cried to the nurse. "I'm so scared," I admitted.

"Oh, honey," she cooed. "This is a scary process. Having _one_ baby is hard, but someone decided that you were strong enough to have two. You need to give yourself some credit, darling." Without hesitation, she grabbed my hand and held on tight as I fought the urge to push and groaned through the pain as yet another contraction took hold.

"Thank you," I said through fresh tears and hard breaths.

"Don't thank me. That's what I'm here for. These babies are an impatient bunch, huh?" she laughed. "I'm going to get the doctor - you're progressing very fast." She wiped my brow with a damp cloth that I never saw her grab. "Would you like some ice chips?"

"Please," I croaked out, licking my dry lips.

"Okay. I'll only be a few minutes, but there's a call button right behind you if you need it," she informed me. "Breathe through the pain. It sounds silly, but it helps."

I nodded my head furiously, bracing myself for a contraction I could feel creeping up my back.

I tried doing what she suggested, and it did help to a point, but the pain was too overwhelming for me to think around it. With my eyes scrunched tight, my hands white-knuckling the bed rails, I braced myself for the pain again, slightly lifting my upper body off the bed.

I needed to push. My body was doing it without my even thinking about it. Every time I felt the muscles contract, I tried fighting it, but it was hard. My body might have been ready to birth these babies, but I was far from it.

When the contraction passed, I sagged back into the bed. I cried softly by myself, wishing that Jasper would come back to at least hold my hand.

"The doctor is on his way, Ms. Swan," Nurse Chelsea informed me when she walked back into the room. "Here you go, darling." She placed a small ice chip in my mouth that I greedily sucked on.

"Everything looks good," she commented, looking at the monitors while the door to the suite flung open. "What are you doing here? You know you can't be in here, Cullen," she chided him.

I head snapped toward the door, not having paid attention to who came in. I assumed it was the _correct_ doctor.

"I damn well _can_ be in here. Those are my babies she's having," Edward snapped. I was still too dumbstruck to speak.

"Wait a minute. _Ms. Swan_ is having your babies?" Chelsea asked. "_These_ are the twins you told me about?"

Well that was news, even in my fog riddled mind. Who else did he share the news with? Did he finally confess to Kate that he was the father of my babies? I would think so if he expected that relationship to last.

"What are you doing here, Edward? Did Jasper call you?"

"Jasper? Jasper's here?" he asked, the angry look I'd become so familiar with made an appearance. "He knows and I didn't?"

"Get over yourself," I spat, gritting my teeth and preparing for another contraction.

In an instant, he was by my side and holding my hand and letting me scream in his ear. "Breathe, Bella." I did as he instructed. "Where the hell is Dr. Banner?" he shouted at the nurse. "You're doing great, B," he said more softly.

Who the hell was _this_ Edward?

"He's coming, _Edward_," Nurse Chelsea snapped. "There's no preferential treatment for the staff," she huffed before walking out of the room.

Where was she going? She was supposed to help me through this.

"How'd you know I was here?" I asked when I was granted a small reprieve.

"I was on my way here when I saw the car on the side of the road. I called your father and job, but no one knew where you where. That's when I noticed the seat and put two and two together."

"I was…oh, God," I groaned when I could feel another contraction. "Owwww," I screamed. "I can't do this," I cried again. My body began pushing as it was the only thing that seemed to help the pain ease only slightly.

"Is that Ms. Swan I heard all the way down the hall," Dr. Banner teased when he walked into the room.

I wanted to punch him right in his fucking nose. I wasn't screaming for the hell of it. Giving birth was _not_ fun.

"Dr. Cullen?" Dr. Banner asked with genuine curiosity, rooted in his spot. "I don't think you're allowed in here." He sounded unsure and looked for Nurse Chelsea for confirmation.

"Oh, no, Dr. Banner," the nurse snickered. "Dr. Cullen is definitely allowed in here."

"Oh-kay," the doctor responded, clearly more confused than when he entered.

"Can I push?" I yelled, needing just a little bit of attention. I was, after all, having two babies over here.

"Just let me take a quick look. Try holding off for just a bit longer," Dr. Banner requested as he suited up.

Edward was still in the room, still feeding me ice chips in between my hollers.

It was an amazing thing what pregnancy, pain, and childbirth did to modesty. My hairy legs were separated high in the air, supported by stirrups. My usually neatly groomed sexy parts were monstrously busy and overgrown. Undeniably, not sexy. It was hard getting down there! Through it all, though, I didn't even flinch when I felt another hand scope out my downtown property.

"Okay, Ms. Swan…I'm ready when you are. Let's have some babies." He rubbed his hands like a sleazy salesman ready to rip me off. "The next time you have the urge to push, push."

As if the babies were eavesdropping, another strong contraction, and yet an even bigger urge to push overtook me. With all I had in me, and with a deadly grip on Edward's hand, I pushed with all my almost-might. I held my breath and let my body do what it knew to do. However, I held back.

"Good job, Ms. Swan, but I need you to push a little harder," the doctor instructed. I watched as Chelsea prepped something in the background.

"I am pushing," I seethed. I pushed when my body needed to push, but again, I knew I was holding back.

"Harder, Ms. Swan."

"I can't," I cried like a broken record.

Edward bent forward slightly and whispered in my ear. "You're doing great. I know it hurts, but you have to push, Isabella." I shook my head furiously, refusing to push harder than I already was. "You can, Bella. You're stronger than this."

I pushed again, only slightly harder than I already was hoping it would do the trick. No such luck.

"Isabella," the doctor sighed impatiently. "I need you to _really_ push if you want to have these babies, and trust me when I say that they're ready to come out."

"I can't," I sobbed. "If I push harder I'm going to crap myself," I cried, completely embarrassed. I felt Edward's gush of breath as it hit my cheek and a not so quiet chuckle behind Dr. Banner. I narrowed my eyes at the nurse.

"I didn't mean to laugh, Ms. Swan," she apologized. "I've been a maternity nurse for seventeen years. Trust me when I say that I have seen it _all_. If you defecate, then we clean it up and keep it moving. Please, don't be embarrassed. All it's doing is delaying your babies' introduction into the world."

I nodded, but wasn't really convinced. I tried not thinking about shitting myself. Meeting my children, that was the ultimate goal. It had already been nine long months and I was ready to meet the most important people in my life.

I pushed hard, this time really giving it my all. I held my breath through the push, only to gasp in air to do it again. Finally, after six strenuous pushes, I was finally rewarded.

"Baby number one is crowning," the doctor informed Edward and me. "One more really good push."

So I fucking _pushed_! I felt the little body slither out my golden gates. I was greeted with the sweetest wale I had ever known. I followed with my own un-lady like one.

"We have boy," he doctor cheered. Before I could take a look at little Edward, he was grabbed by Chelsea and taken out of sight.

"She's just cleaning him up, Bella," Edward rasped from the side of me. I looked up to see unshed tears in his eyes. I was about to comment when baby number two kicked to remind me I wasn't done.

"Baby number two is coming. I need you to keep pushing, Isabella," the doctor reminded me.

Thirteen minutes later, little Bella came kicking and screaming into this world giving the nurse hell.

That's my girl!

"You did wonderful, Bella," Edward congratulated me with a kiss to my forehead. It was too bad I was too mentally and physically tired to appreciate how the soft and gentle the kiss felt. Who knew childbirth took so much out of you. "You didn't even mess yourself," he chuckled. It was too bad I was too tired to nut punch him.

"Here you go, Momma," Chelsea expertly held both babies as she walked over. "Babies are hungry." She placed them gently on my chest. "Do you need help breast feeding?"

"Please." I nodded. But these were Edward's kids and they didn't need help. Once both boobs were exposed they latched on like they'd been doing it for years.

"You did good, Daddy." I felt Edward stiffen beside me before giving Chelsea a shy smile.

"I didn't really do anything," he argued lightly. "Bella did most of the work."

"Takes two to tango," she countered with a wink before walking away.

**_~Cause baby you're worth it~_**

It was only five in the evening and I was ready to call it a night. Giving birth – twice – was more of a workout that I could have ever anticipated. But I did it. I was never so scared in my life. Before today all I could think about was everything that could go wrong. Everything that_ I _could do wrong.

Would I shift a certain way and cause air deprivation to one or both of them? Would my body not be strong enough to birth them? Or feed them sufficiently?

Would I totally screw up their lives like my own mother did mine?

I lulled my head to the side and watched as the two most beautiful creatures slept peacefully. Nothing was wrong in their world and I'd do everything in my power to make sure it stayed like that for as long as possible. With or without Edward.

Just as I felt myself finally being pulled under by sleep, the door swung open, startling the ever-loving hell out of me.

_Everyone_ came spilling in. More than I knew to be allowed at once. I guess you can bend the rules when you're a doctor.

"Bella," Emmett whisper-shouted excitedly when he saw the babies sleeping in their small cradles. His eyes darted from me to his niece and nephew. I saw the tears that he freely showed, uncaring of how they made him look. He didn't know who to greet first so I made the decision for him – like I tended to do. I nodded toward the babies who were beginning to stir with all the commotion that was going on in the room.

"Sweetheart," my father greeted me with a kiss to the forehead and an awkward hug. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I was so worried when Edward called looking for you." He scratched his moustache in frustration. "Thankfully, Emmett managed to get a hold of me a little while later."

"Oh, dad," I soothed, "don't worry about it. I'm fine. The babies are fine. Everything is fine."

There was talking and cooing all around me. I received congratulatory hugs and kisses from everyone, even Alice.

Esme and Sue were both giving Emmett the evil eye for hogging both babies. How he managed to hold both babies safely in his arms I have no idea.

Rose had that glazed look in her eye. Men holding babies did weird things to women.

I caught Jasper's hand as he walked back to Alice.

"Thank you, J. I have no idea what would have happened to us if it weren't for you." I wiped away stray tears, my emotions still all over the place. Not to mention how exhausted I was.

"I have no doubt that you would have been fine, Bella. You're one of the bravest, strongest chicks I've ever known." He brushed away more tears. "I'm just glad I got the honor of making the important phone calls." He chuckled and continued toward Alice.

My small room was filled to capacity with everyone waiting to take turns to hold and coo at the babies. I watched on, finally realizing that beyond myself, these babies would always be loved.

I spied Edward sitting in the farthest corner, his eyes trained on his brother who finally agreed to relinquish the little beings. Esme and Sue were all too glad to hold their grandchildren.

Edward was scared. It was easily detectable. He was scared, but he was still here. It had to mean something. He could have slipped out and no one besides me would have been any wiser. But there he sat, in the corner, watching with rapt fascination as his son and daughter rest contently in their grandmothers' arms.

"Edward," I called to him. He whipped his head in my direction, offering an apologetic smile. "Come over here." Slowly, he made his way over to me and sat down at my feet. "Have you held them, yet?" I asked softy. He shook his head as a sadness settled in his eyes. "Do you want to?"

"I do," he whispered, afraid to meet my gaze. I nudged him with my foot and smiled when he finally looked up.

"Esme, do you mind if Edward has a turn?" I asked her.

With a playful pout, she gently laid Edward's son into his awkwardly awaiting arms. She positioned the baby into what she probably considered the most comfortable position for father and son.

I think I had that glazed over look in my eyes now. If my ovaries weren't napping, I'm sure they would have exploded having witnessed Edward cautiously cradling his offspring.

"Bella, who is Edward holding?" Esme chided. "We can't call them baby one and two forever."

I chuckled soundlessly. Exhaustion was gripping me with a strangle hold.

"Edward is holding Anthony Charles and Sue is holding Emmy Rose," I revealed. Emmett looked smug and Rose looked shocked. Both on the verge of crying.

"Anthony," I heard Edward whisper, running his finger down his son's tiny nose.

**_~Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear at night~_**

Twenty four hours later, I was still tired. I spent a majority of those hours breastfeeding and burping, being showed different breastfeeding techniques, changing diapers, and learning how to properly swaddle.

Oh, yeah. I also managed a few minutes of sleep.

Just as I finished adjusting my nursing bra – the sexiest thing in the world – there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I instructed the person on the other end. I knew it wasn't a nurse, because they had no qualms about bursting through the door while my boobs hung free.

"Cauis? What are you doing here?" I stood up from the bed, happy but surprised to see him. I hugged him gently as my breasts were still extremely sore.

"I'm hoping I'm not overstepping by visiting you. Marcus told me yesterday that you had the babies. Congratulations, darling." He handed me the bouquet in the vase with a teddy bear balloon attached.

"Of course not!" I took vase from him and leaned in for a kiss. On the cheek. "Thank you for these." I placed them on the window sill next to the arrangement from Marcus and Jane. There was also the one from the Cullens and Carmen, Tanya, and the rest of their family.

"You look great, Bella," he complicated.

"I look tired," I corrected.

"You look like you gave birth to two incredibly beautiful babies. You look like a _mom_. A true MILF." I blushed at the silly compliment.

"Thanks for lying to me, Cauis. Do you want to see the babies?"

"Well, I certainly didn't come here for you," he teased. I pushed at his shoulder playfully.

"I guess I'm not the important one anymore."

"You'll always be important, Isabella," he replied smoothly. I looked at him shyly, refusing to allow myself to be taken by such sweet words. They were _really_ sweet words, though.

"They just finished eating so they'll be out for awhile."

"Works in my favor then. I have a reason to come back."

"You're very suave today, Cauis."

"Just today?" He winked.

A throat clearing interrupted me from replying. I turned to see Edward standing rigidly by the door. I knew he was working today, but he wasn't dressed like it.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked with a rough edge to his voice.

"Actually…"

"No," I answered, cutting Cauis off. I glared at him as he smiled in return. "Cauis, you remember Edward."

"We were never officially introduced, actually. Please to meet you, Edward." He took a few steps toward Edward with his hand outstretched. Edward stared at it before hesitantly grasping it. I rolled my eyes at Edward's too firm grip. "I was telling our Bella here that her babies are some of the most beautiful I've ever seen."

"You have a lot of children then, Cauis?" Edward snarked.

"Me? Oh no. I'm not lucky enough to be a father. I am an uncle, though," he replied, unfazed by Edward's attitude.

Edward nodded, but didn't offer anything further. He did take a seat, though, and resumed to get comfortable. Apparently, he was not leaving anytime soon. And by the looks of it, neither was Cauis.

**AN: Real quick, I just wanted to say that I loved the reviews from the last chapter. Youse were really concerned with the car seat. LMAO. And Cauis was a big hit. I liked him, too. Thanks for all the reviews (for all the chapters)**

**So how about Edward? Do we like him a little bit at least?**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: It was brought to my attention that fraternal twins run on the mother's side, not the father's side. I was not aware of this. Learn something new every day. But since we can't go back in time and change that little tidbit (plus it plays a part in the story), let's pretend that they do run on the father's side.**

**It was also brought to my attention that I was spelling CAIUS' name wrong. This reader seemed very offended by this error. Please accept my deepest, most heartfelt apologies for this grave oversight. However, I must say, that if you couldn't overlook the spelling error, maybe this story isn't for you. Not because of the content, but because I must not be good writer, which is fair enough since I don't consider myself a writer. Again, I offer my apologies for wasting anyone's time. **

"So they both stayed?" Rosalie laughed, holding her namesake in her arms.

"Yes," I groaned which turned into a whimper as I looked down at little Tony. These two little suckers knew how to suck. Neither of them had any issues with latching.

"How long?" She asked without looking up from the sleeping bundle. If babies worked how I figured they worked, Emmy would be out for a couple hours, having just fed and been changed into a fresh diaper.

"_Two hours_. It was the sweetest torture. Being in the same room with the two most good looking guys I've ever met."

"Sounds like a Penthouse letter to me," she snickered. "So what happened?"

"It was so awkward," I began. "Caius kept cooing at the babies and saying how wonderful they were. How lucky Edward was. Then, get this. He told me, in front of Edward, that he'll wait the required six weeks before he asks me out on a proper date."

"No!" Her eyes were wide with disbelief. "He's nuts." She switched the baby to her opposite arm. "What six week requirement?"

"I have to see my doctor in six weeks – like a check up, I guess. During that visit I'll get the okay to have sex…or not."

"No!" she shrieked again. "Holy shit. He's bad. Actually, he's either really smart or really stupid."

"Oh, believe me. Caius knows exactly what he's doing. If Edward wasn't holding the baby -"

"If Edward wasn't holding the baby he still wouldn't have done anything," Rosalie cut me off. "Edward needs to see that there's competition out there for your affection and you need to realize that just because you have kids now doesn't make you undesirable."

I ignored her last comment. I didn't think I was ever very desirable in the first place. "What affection? Caius may find me attractive, but there's no affection."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Either way," she stressed, "Edward needs to see that he's not the end all, be all."

"I don't think he thinks that – now or before."

"Well, he was feeling something for treating you like shit before. His reasons may be his own, but still. The point I'm trying to make, Bella, is that Edward is seeing that you're worth more than he thought you were."

I shook my head in disagreement. "No. I don't think that he ever thought I was worthless. Honestly, and I know you're going to call bullshit, but I think that Edward just didn't know how to deal with the situation. He's not the most…socially inept person I've ever met. Pair that with some deep insecurities and self-consciousness and you have a recipe for disaster. Unfortunately, I was the gun powder for that explosive."

"You're right. I do call bullshit, but I don't want to talk about this anymore," Rosalie spoke. "We can't change the past and as long as he's trying to make amends with you and his children, it doesn't matter. If you're ready to move past it, then who am I to still hold a grudge?"

Rosalie was obliviously getting annoyed with the topic so it was in everyone's best interest to let it go.

"Chelsea, my nurse, told me that I could lose about five hundred calories a day breastfeeding; probably more since I have two of them. Seems like a pretty good deal to me."

"I'd say. Lose weight by just sitting there. Although, you don't look that bad now. It looks like you didn't gain much weight during your pregnancy." She gave me a once over. "You're tits are definitely bigger, though."

"I know, right?" I squealed. "It's all milk, but they look great."

"Will they stay like that when you stop breastfeeding?"

"I hope," I sighed.

"Hey, pretty mama," Chelsea greeted as she walked through the door. She had seen _all_ of me at this point so there was no point in trying to cover up. "How we doing this afternoon?"

"Good," I answered. "Tired and sore, but good."

"Sounds about right," she chuckled. "I hate to break this party up, but visiting hours are over for the afternoon." She turned to Rose. "You can come back at five, if you'd like."

"Okey dokey." She stood from her chair, still holding a snoozing Emmy. "I'll see tomorrow, though. Charlie told me I had to keep my ass home so he can come and visit tonight."

"He did not," I laughed.

"Not in so many words, but I got the point."

Rosalie gently placed my daughter down in her cradle and kissed her forehead. She did the same with Tony and me before saying goodbye to Chelsea.

I watched the nurse flit around the room as she checked my charts and different areas of the room. Her last stop was the bathroom. I found it quite embarrassing that she checked how much I peed every day. I was never told about _that _beforehand.

"Chelsea?" I called out to her before she could leave the room.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?" Something she said had been bugging me since yesterday and I needed clarification. I had been going back and forth of whether I should bring it up to her but it was quickly becoming an annoying itch I needed scratched.

"Sure. Go ahead."

"When Edward came into the delivery room you said something about my babies being the twins he told you about," I began. "What did you mean by that?"

She gave me a sad look before sighing deeply. "A couple of months ago, I saw Dr. Cullen snooping around this floor. Since he has no business being on the maternity ward, I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he was expecting twins and he was curious."

"What…did you think when he told you? Like, did you have an idea who the mother was?" I wanted to ask if she thought Kate was pregnant.

"I was shocked, that's for sure. Not that I really paid attention or anything, but I didn't know he was seeing someone seriously."

"Kate knew," I informed her. She looked unsure. "The nurse," I explained. "I don't know what department she's stationed in."

"Kate Sinclair?" she clarified. I shrugged since I had no clue what her last name was. "She's the only nurse named Kate so it has to be her. She knew?"

"They've been seeing each other for awhile now so…" I revealed.

"They have?" She seemed surprised. I nodded. "Wow. I had no idea." She shrugged this time. "Well, like I said he never told me who the mother was, just that he was expecting twins. He seemed pretty excited about it," she added.

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"He was nervous at first, to tell you the truth, but the more he talked about it the more excited he seemed to be." I still found that hard to believe. At no point with me did he show any indication that he may be the tiniest bit excited. "Don't look at me like that," she laughed. "I'm serious."

"I have one more thing to ask you." I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the shame I was going to feel. "How do I go about getting a paternity test done?"

"What?" she almost shouted. "Are those not Edward's babies?" She seemed angry at me.

"They are," I tried soothing her. "There's absolutely no doubt about it. It's just…a stipulation."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but thankfully didn't voice what she was really thinking.

"I'll arrange to have it done before you leave the hospital."

"Thank you."

_~Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me__'Cause I know that's a good place to start~_

"Where's my Mini Me," Emmett hollered as he barged through the door. He had absolutely no concept of appropriate behavior in a hospital, especially in the maternity ward. There were sleeping babies and aching women to consider.

"Em," I warned as I adjusted maternity bra – the epitome of sexy. "Can you please lower your voice? Tony just-" I was cut off by a whimpering boy, shortly followed by his sister. "Thank you, Emmett," I sighed.

"Sorry," he whispered. He didn't look all that sorry. "You finish getting dressed. I got this," he offered.

I did just that. I put on a loose t-shirt – that was probably Emmett's – and a pair of sweats that Charlie had brought over yesterday. Because my feet were still swollen and didn't fit into sneakers, I slid on my flip flops.

"Those were some nice diapers you got on there, Bella," Emmett laughed. "Trying to fit in with the twins?"

"Shut up." I ran my hand over my butt and felt the crinkle of the paper underwear given to me by the hospital. "Do you want to know how much I'm bleeding?" I asked seriously as I took in his wide, horrified eyes. We may have been friends since forever, but there were still some things he'd rather I kept a secret. Menstrual blood was definitely one of them.

"God, no!" he cringed while firmly grasping his nephew. "I'm going to protect you, little man."

"Please. Don't act like you've never bought me tampons."

"Buying that stuff is _not_ the same as actually hearing about it."

"Then don't make fun of my underwear unless you want to hear about me bleeding for weeks on end," I said with an evil smirk.

"Please shut up."

I laughed and continued gathering my things. I was being released today. Chelsea had to give me a one more quick check over before I could be given my discharge papers.

"How you feeling about going home today?" Emmett asked as he put back a sleeping boy to pick up a squirming girl. He was a natural with kids.

"Excited. Scared as hell. Happy. Nervous. Feel like I'm going to throw up. The makings of a great mom, huh?"

"Aw, don't worry, B. I'm sure all new moms feel like that. You're not going to be alone, though. Pop is going to be there with Sue. Mom and Dad are coming over later. Rose is coming tonight. You're going to be okay."

"Yeah, I know, but still." I sat on the bed and watched as he carefully danced in place, trying to soothe Emmy. It was a beautiful sight. "All these months and now the time is finally here. They're not some abstract idea still swimming in my tummy. Now I_ really _have to take care of them. Feed them, change them, and bathe them. It's scary to know that I'm now responsible for two completely innocent lives. It's scary and overwhelming."

"I get that. It is scary, but you don't need to do it alone. Like I said, you have a lot of people waiting to help you. Take advantage of that because there are a lot of women who don't have that."

"I know," I whispered. "I just don't want people to feel obligated to help." It was an old argument that I used every time, but it was how I felt. I didn't want anyone to resent me or my children for taking time away from other, personal obligations. "And before you say no one feels obligated, I know they don't, but I still can't get past that insecurity. It's going to take time."

"Fair enough," he conceded. "Just promise me that if at any point it becomes overwhelming you'll let me know. I've heard stories about new parents with one baby and you have two. I already _know_ it's going to be a lot, so don't act like you can handle it on your own when you need a little help."

I smiled and nodded at him. I had no more words. I placed my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and listed to Emmy's soft snores. I felt Emmett wrap his arm around my waist.

I hadn't heard the door open or the footfalls that followed. I did, however, see the flash of light behind my closed eyes and the quiet giggle that followed.

"I'm sorry," Rosalie said. "I had to take a picture. You guys are so cute."

Edward stood quietly behind her, his lips pursed and eyes shifting quickly between Emmett and me.

"Look, Bella." She walked over to me and showed me her phone. "If Anthony was in the picture it would have been such a perfect family photo," she said wistfully. I loved that she never seriously felt threatened by my relationship with her boyfriend.

"E-mail that to me?" I asked.

"Sure thing."

In the corner of my eye, I watched as Edward towered over his son and caressed his soft, pink cheek before bending even lower and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Hey, Bella?" he called in a voice low enough to almost be a whisper. "May I?" He gestured toward his son.

"Of course," I smiled. I wished he felt comfortable enough with his children and me to not feel like he had to ask for permission to hold either of them. That wasn't what I wanted. Though he hadn't actually claimed them out loud, to me at least, I never planned on limiting his interactions or affections with his children.

And they were his children.

Rosalie quickly snapped a picture with her phone the two Cullen men with their mini me's. She also took one of just Edward and Tony.

I nudge her leg with my foot. "E-mail that to me, too " I mouthed. With a slick smirk she nodded.

"Well isn't this precious," Chelsea cooed as she walked in with a blood pressure machine. As she strapped the cuff around my upper arm she leaned in to speak quietly in my ear. The loud buzz of the machine easily masked her words. "Samples were taken from the babies early this morning," she informed.

I gave her a tight smile. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Has," she quickly drew her eyes to Edward before meeting mine again, "set up an appointment?"

I shrugged subtly. "I don't know. I'll ask him."

Chelsea stepped back and began speaking in a normal tone. "Okay, Ms. Swan. You're blood pressure is slightly elevated, but nothing that gives me too much worry. I expect it might be for the next few days. I know it's easier said than done, but try keeping your stress level down and watch your salt intake. Rest whenever possible and absolutely_ no_ strenuous activity. I need to take your weight one last time."

I followed her outstretched hand that pointed to the scale in the corner. Hesitantly, I made my way to the scale, readying for the embarrassment that sure to follow once my weight is revealed to everyone in the room.

I was mortified when I saw her push the lower poise weight to 150 pounds, then proceeded to move the upper weight until she stopped and wrote down the figure in my chart.

One hundred and sixty eight pounds! That was very close to two hundred pounds.

How? I had managed and watched what I ate. I made sure I ate healthy and recommended servings. I was starving for most of my pregnancy.

"Put that face away," Chelsea admonished. "You were carrying twins. You don't weigh that much. I've seen women put on a hundred pounds pregnant with just one baby. Do you know how quickly that weight is going to come off anyway? We talked about this already."

"But…I've never been this fat," I cried.

With a stern, leveled stare she has me almost withering in place. "Where?" she clucked. She gently grabbed my arm and placed me in front of the full length mirror that hung on the bathroom door. I saw everyone else behind me listen and watch in rapt fascination.

"This is the body of someone who performed nothing short of a miracle by giving birth to two healthy, beautiful babies. Sure, you might be plumper than you were nine months ago, but now you got curves to kill for and more than a hand full of tits. This is _not_ the body a new mother should be complaining about."

I looked in the mirror and tried to see what she was talking about. I guess I didn't look fat, but that number made me feel fat. I've obviously put on weight but it seemed to have distributed evenly enough.

My eyes focused on Edward behind me. He was still sitting on the bed with Tony. He hadn't caught my eyes, but he was looking at me. His face was slightly flushed and his full bottom lip was caught securely between his teeth.

"No offense, Rose," Emmett began, "but your ass doesn't look so bad from where I'm sitting, B. Diaper and all," he laughed.

I was still looking at Edward as he turned to his brother and glared with narrowed eyes. I wasn't the only one who caught that. Rosalie tried to hide her smirk while Chelsea nudged me with her elbow.

"None at all," she responded. "I agree. You look good, Bella. What do you think, Edward?"

With wide, fearful eyes, Edward finally turned his attention to me – his face red with embarrassment.

"Uhh…umm. Well..err…your body is…a body."

"Good job stating the obvious, Poindexter," Emmett laughed.

He huffed, followed by a giant, calming breath. "What I meant to say," he began cautiously, "is that your body had to adjust to accommodate the lives growing inside of you and it's perfectly normal for women to-"

"That's not what I asked you, Edward," Rosalie, thankfully, cut him off with a roll of her eyes. "All I wanted to know was if you thought Bella looked good. Simple yes or no."

Emmett didn't try to hide his laugh beside him.

"Yes," he finally mumbled, thoroughly chastised for going on one of his doctor tangents.

Slowly, I managed to let go of whatever hang ups I have about my weight for the moment.

Another forty minutes later, I was finally discharged…and I was scared shitless. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Who was stupid enough to put me in charge of two babies? Where was the manual?

"Oh shit," I screeched as Emmett rolled me down the corridor in the wheelchair. I told the nurse I was fine to walk, but she had firmly insisted that I be wheeled out. Both babies were expertly swaddled, bundled, and cozy in their car seats that were protectively held by Edward. "The cribs! I never assembled the cribs," I cried. With real tears. "They have nowhere to sleep."

"Oh," Emmett sighed behind me. "That's it? Scared the hell out of me," he chuckled. "The cribs are done. We did them yesterday."

"We?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. I loved my dad but there was a reason he didn't own a tool shed.

"_Not_ Charlie," he laughed. Emmett knew that Charlie was no Bob the Builder. "Me, Ed, and Jasper."

I glanced at a red-faced Edward. "I only helped with one – I had to leave for work," he confessed.

"Even still," I shrugged. "I appreciate it."

"Your room's a little cramped," Emmett continued. "But we managed to fit both cribs and their dresser in there."

"So this is it, huh?" I mused looking at the brand new babies.

"Yup," I heard Emmett behind me. "Don't worry – we're not gonna let you fuck this up like your high school career."

"Don't be an asshole, Emmett," Edward sneered.

The sad truth was that he was probably right. Without help, I was destined to mess this up like everything else in life.

**AN:**

**Hey there! Just a few things I want to mention here. It was brought to my attention that (and the conversation happened a while ago so excuse my wording) when father's carry the twin gene (that's obviously not what it's called) the twins are identical. When it's from the mother's side, they are fraternal. So for the sake of the story, let's all be ignorant to this fact.**

**Secondly, where I live, a mother is usually discharged from the hospital two days after giving birth – three is she had a C-section. I had a natural birth, but because my blood pressure was so high, I stayed three. In the story, Bella will have been in the hospital for three.**

**Lastly, and I know no one wants to hear this, but I am incredibly sorry for this late update. Life goes on and I don't realize that it's been months since I updated. Thank you to those to have shown and given this story continued support even with the long wait between updates. I'm reading stories like that and I know how frustrating it can be, especially when you forget what happened in the previous chapter. I want to promise that it won't happen again, but honestly, it probably will. All I can do is promise to try and not wait so long between chapters.**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: As always this is unbeta'd and I'm sure some of those guest reviews will let me know exactly where I missed up. ; )**

I wiped away the tears for the third time today. I could always feel them encroaching even when I tried my hardest to fight against them. In my head, I could always explain their appearance and reason, but I knew that if I tried verbalizing them I'd sound crazy.

I loved my children with everything that I was and I think everyone knew that. I could honestly say they were on my mind every minute of the day. They were fed every two hours – my sore breasts were testament to that – and cleaned frequently. I was working on getting them on some type of schedule, but it wasn't working out in my favor. Maybe it was too early? Surprisingly, I mastered double duty pretty quickly and easily, which worked in my favor. If Tony was hungry, Emmy was guaranteed to be hungry, too. In my opinion, it was easier to get them both taken care of at once to free up time to do the other hundred things I had always done with no thought. Who would have thought that I would have to schedule a time to do the dishes?

I was praised for how quickly I was able to adapt to this…lifestyle. I was appreciative. It was validation that I didn't need, but it was nice to hear all the same. But despite the nice words and easily adhered to routine, I was incredibly sad.

I felt alone in all in this and I wasn't just referring to Edward. Everyone had their own lives to live and I completely understood all that. As a matter of fact, I expected it. Even still, though, I felt like I had no one. It wasn't even that I needed help with the pair – I really was handling it. I just need someone there. A conversation. A presence.

I felt selfish for feeling that way. My life was supposed to be about my children – and it was – but it didn't feel like enough. What kind of mother did that make me?

And wasn't it too early to feel like this? I should still be basking in the glow of brand new motherhood.

Maybe it was because I was sleep deprived. When I was pregnant, I blamed my hormones. Now I blamed sleep deprivation. It was time that I womaned up and admitted that it was just me. Maybe Renee was right and I had no business being a mother. I was a shit daughter and bound to be a worse mother. My worst fear was becoming like her and as much as I convinced myself it would never happen, maybe it was unavoidable.

I _wouldn't_ let it happen, though. I would try harder. _Fight_ harder. If I went deep enough into my mental, I _knew_ I was a good person. Was I the best person I could be? No. But I loved my family, I worked hard, and I was becoming the friend that I should have been a long time ago.

As long as I was still breathing, my children would always be put first. I may never have the means to provide everything they'd ever want, but they would not grow up regretfully claiming me as their mother.

My sadness might not go anywhere in the near future, but I would tamp it down for the sake of my children.

_**~And is it too much to ask for every Sunday**__**. **__**While we at it throw in every other day to start~**_

Taking a deep breath in, I had to convince myself that asking for help didn't make me less of a mother. It wasn't the norm – I had to remember that. But I also knew that, for the sake of my children, I needed to do this.

With another quick mental pep talk, I dialed the number I rarely used, but knew by heart. It was nine in the morning and hopefully not too early.

After five rings the answering machine came on. If I had my cell I would have tried hers, but that number wasn't ingrained like this one was. I hadn't ever called that number in a panic, needing help getting gum out of my hair before my father found out I fell asleep with it in my mouth again. Sighing, I waited for the greeting to finish before leaving a message.

"Hey Ma, it's Bella. I was just wondering if I could take you up on the offer to watch the babies while I go on that hot date," I chuckled into the phone, using her words from a week ago. "It's nine now, so maybe eleven or twelve? Whatever works better for you. If not, that's fine. I just thought I'd ask." I sighed again, hating every second of this message. "Okay. Well, I love you and I'll talk to you soon."

I threw another load in the machine when an hour later I had not heard back from Esme. I wasn't going to call her again or anyone else for that matter. The end of the semester was almost coming to a close for Emmett and Rosalie and they needed to concentrate on that. Sue had a part time job she started the week before and I would never ask Charlie for help.

Edward was also a no-go. Although, I could admit that I was impressed by the attempts he was making. He wasn't around as much as I would have liked, but I also understood that his job kept him away most of the time. When he was around, though, he was attentive to the babies, if not still a bit awkward. For someone who was so confident during my pregnancy, he asked a lot of questions on how to care for them. He was insecure about his abilities and that made me feel better. Yet, despite all his efforts, he had still not verbally confirmed that he believed – that he knew – these babies were his. In his heart, he knew.

Forty minutes later, the babies were completely fed to the point of exhaustion and freshly changed. Esme had not gotten back to me. I wasn't mad. She obviously wasn't home and hadn't checked her machine. She probably assumed whoever had to reach her would try her cell at some point if it was important.

Resigned to the fact that she wasn't coming, I sat on the couch and re-planned the rest of my day. Who was I kidding? Today would go like every other day. Once I felt myself begin to doze off, I heaved myself off the sofa to prevent just that. Everyone said to sleep when the babies slept. While that was all well and good, no one ever told me when I was supposed to do the hundred chores that had to be done on a daily basis. Sleep just had to take a back seat along with regular showers.

A solid knock on the door had me running towards it before the babies woke up. It never failed that when someone did decide to come over, it was always once the babies feel asleep.

Edward stood on my porch looking tense and uncomfortable.

"Hey, Edward," I greeted warily. "Come in." I moved aside allowing home to enter. I watched as he looked around as if in search of something. "So is your mom out?" I asked while closing the door behind him. "I called and left a message but didn't hear back from her."

"Um…yes. She and my father went to visit a friend in Seattle," he answered with a scowl.

I really didn't need his bullshit right now. Couldn't he see the luggage I was carrying around under my eyes?

"I figured it was something like that. I'll just take a rain check."

"I'm sure Caius wasn't too please to hear that," he murmured.

"What?" I asked, confused and irritated and not bothering to hide it. I couldn't be held accountable for my actions at this time. I was tired and cranky and ready to lay into someone.

"You're hot date. Isn't that the reason you asked Esme to babysit?" he answered with much more disdain than was necessary.

I folded my arms in front of me, sneering at the angry asshole in front of me.

"You're mom offered in the first place. I was just taking her up on it," I countered. The scowl fell from his face, but he was still angry. "Is that why you're here? To make me feel like shit for taking a little time for myself?" I stared him down as he fidgeted from foot to foot. "Look, Edward," I sighed, not actually in the mood for a confrontation. Confrontation took energy and stamina and I had neither. "I'm not doing this right now. Is there something you wanted?"

"I'm sorry," he finally conceded. "I came over to watch the babies while you…do whatever you were going to do. Is it too late? Did you have to cancel your plans?"

"Seriously?" I quirked an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Yes. I'm done with work for the day so…" he trailed off.

"Are you sure? Like absolutely sure? You've never been alone with them for an extended period of time," I reminded him. "And I don't think you should be around them if you're already tired and in a bad mood. They sense these things." At least I once read that they did.

"Bella. I'm sorry I came off the way I did. I'm tired, but I'm fine. Really. Just tell me what I need to do and I'll be fine."

I took a deep breath, willing myself to be okay with the situation. He was their father and he needed to be able to take them by himself. Maybe this was the best situation for him to learn. He would be in the security and safety of my home. Everything they would need would be within reach. All the important numbers were posted to the fridge door courtesy of Charlie. Everything would be fine. I had to believe that.

"Okay. Um…well, they were both just fed so you won't have to worry about that. They were changed, too. They're sleeping now and should be until their next feeding. In case they wake up before I come back, there's bottles in the fridge. I usually warm them up on the stove for a few minutes; they're not fans of cold milk." I looked around the living room, trying to remember anything I could have forgotten. "There are diapers and wipes on the table over there." I pointed to the table in the corner. "I think that's about it."

"Alright. Simple enough. How long will you be gone?" He seemed comfortable enough with the instructions I gave him.

"Not long. About an hour."

"Okay." He nodded. "I guess you need to get ready."He grimaced while gesturing toward the stairs.

I looked down at my sweat pants and baggy, milk stained t-shirt. My uniform as of late.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I laughed. He was confused and it only made the situation better. "My 'hot date' was with my bed, Edward. Ma offered to come watch the babies while I took a nap," I finally confessed with a haughty smirk.

"A nap?" he repeated slowly as if he hadn't heard me correctly. "You needed someone to watch the babies so you could sleep?" he clarified.

The irritation was quickly creeping back up.

"Yes, Edward," I sighed. "I'm tired, too. So fucking tired. I just need one hour of uninterrupted sleep. Is that okay with you?" I wasn't even trying to be sarcastic. I just needed to know if he was still willing to stay here for that hour.

"Yes. Of…of course. Yeah, sorry," he fumbled with his words. "I'll be in the living room." His face was red with embarrassment and shame as he played with the sleeve of his coat.

"Thanks. Make yourself at home."

I dragged myself upstairs and into my bedroom. My bed was unmade but was never more comfortable than it was at that moment. Every time I closed my eyes and rested my head on my pillow, I could never truly relax. To say I became a light sleeper since bringing the babies home would be a legitimate understatement. The slightest sigh had me up and stumbling toward the cribs to see if they were okay.

Charlie had offered to keep an ear out while I slept. There were also a few times he offered to watch them while I ran errands, but I always declined. The most I ever accepted of him was to watch them while I took a quick shower and even that wasn't often. I tried to do mundane things like that while they were sleeping.

If I hadn't fallen asleep myself.

Knowing that Edward was downstairs, surprisingly, put me at ease. I knew that I didn't have to worry. Although this was his first time alone with them, I knew that he was more than capable. He _was_ a doctor, after all.

With a deep sigh of contentment, my head hit the pillow.

"Shit!" I shouted, jumping off the bed when I blinked my eyes two minutes later. How was it already four in the afternoon when I _just_ fell asleep?

"Fuck," I groaned when I hit my foot against the dresser. I stumbled down the top three steps before I was able to right myself the rest of the way down. My heart was pounding from such an abrupt wakening and I could feel a headache coming on.

I hadn't meant to sleep for this long. I had meant to set an alarm but quickly forgot once I got in bed.

"Edward! Edward," I called out when I reached the landing. "I'm so freaking sorry. I didn't mean to sleep for so long."

When I finally reached the living room, the sight before me almost had me in tears. Edward was laying back on the couch with both babies tucked protectively in the crooks of his arms as all three slept peacefully. The scene looked so right – so good – that it was just a matter of time before my heart caught up to my brain and realized it wouldn't be true. What I was seeing was a onetime thing. For this brief moment I could pretend that we _were_ a family. That Edward wanted a family with me.

I stared until Tony started stirring in Edward's arm. As quietly as I could, I walked over and picked up my little boy, trying not to disturb the other two. However, as soon as Edward's sleeping brain registered the missing weight in his arms, his eyes flew open.

"Hey," I whispered, not wanting to disturb the peaceful quietness of the room.

"Hi," he smiled back. He sat up straight with Emmy in his arm, readjusting her to a more comfortable position.

I sat down next to him as Tony fell back asleep.

"I'm really sorry about this. I didn't mean to be more than an hour but I forgot to set my alarm. You should have woken me up."

He shook his head. "No. It's alright. You needed a few good hours and we were okay."

"Yeah, but you probably had things to do today."

"Not really. I don't have to be back at work until tomorrow so…" he trailed off, shrugging.

"Well, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate you watching them."

The silence between us was becoming awkward stilted and I didn't want it to ruin the decent vibe we had going on. Sleep did us both good.

"Did you eat? I could make us a late lunch," I suggested. I was starving. I hadn't eaten since dinner last night. I was never one to be known to be too tired to eat, but sleep always won out over food these days.

"Sure. I could eat. Thanks."

I placed Tony in his bouncer and grabbed Emmy from Edward to put her in hers. Edward didn't look pleased at all with his empty arms. I shot him a strange look before proceeding to bring the babies in the kitchen with me.

"What are you doing? Why are you taking them with you?" he asked, sounding oddly concerned.

"Because I always take them with me when I cook," I explained as if I was talking to a child.

"But why?"

"Because I don't have x-ray vision and can't see through the walls," I replied sarcastically to which he rolled his eyes. "I need to be able to watch them."

"Bella," he sighed, exasperated. "I'm here right now. You don't need to take them with you; I can watch them while you make lunch."

Any irritation I was grasping on to quickly melted away. I thought he was trying to question my parenting – scrutinizing every move I made. Accepting help from him was something that I still had to get use to no matter how many times he had spent time with our children.

"Oh…um…okay. Are you sure? I mean, you've already spent a few hours alone with them. I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of you. They're in the kitchen with me all the time, so it's not really a big deal," I offered with a mutter.

"It's really okay, but if it'll make you feel better, why don't we all go into the kitchen? I'll watch them in there while you cook."

"That works." I offered him a big smile, hopefully displaying my great appreciation.

He carried Tony while I took Emmy. We placed them both on the table while Edward took a seat in front of them. Despite all the jostling, both bundles remained asleep.

"So…uh…I don't have much in here; I haven't gone food shopping in awhile. How about…grilled cheese and…" I began looking through the cabinets, "ramen noodles?" I inwardly cringed at how that must have sounded to a doctor. All the carbs and salt in just one meal.

"Yeah, that's fine. I haven't had ramen noodles since college."

I took out the pot to start boiling water for the instant noodles and the pan to start melting butter for the grilled cheese. All the while, I could hear Edward mumbling something in a whisper to the sleeping babies. I strained to make out any of his cooing words, but nothing sounded familiar.

It was a weird sight to have him sitting in my kitchen while I cooked us a meal. It seemed very domestic and familial. I never thought that I'd be in this situation with any guy, especially _him_.

"I hope they weren't too much trouble for you," I said while keeping my back to him.

"Nope. Not at all. They didn't sleep as much as I assumed they would, though. About an hour in, they both woke up. I gotta tell ya," he chuckled, "feeding them both at the same time is not easy. I'm not sure how you do it."

"With practice," I laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I should, too. I need to get better at that."

I wanted to ask what that was supposed to mean, but decided against it. If it was something I didn't want to hear I'd regret asking him to elaborate. In my head, though, I pictured him cooing over a baby that didn't belong to me.

"So what are your plans for Thursday?" he asked coming to stand next to me. He casually leaned against the sink watching me place the bread in the pan.

"I dunno," I shrugged. "The same thing I do everyday – laundry, clean the house, grocery shopping if I haven't done it by then. Same stuff, different day."

"Bella, do you know what Thursday is?" He grabbed the fork and began separating the noodles that were softening in the pot.

"No, what?" I asked absent mindedly. I was more concerned with melting the cheese and not burning the bread.

"It's Thanksgiving, Bella," he chuckled, shaking his head.

"What?" I managed to turn from my grilled cheese. "No it's not."

"It is," he argued. "Check the calendar."

I turned my body to the look at the calendar that hung on the fridge.

"Damn. It is Thanksgiving," I muttered. "How did I not realize that?"

"Don't stress it. You've been busy." Edward was quick to dismiss my obliviousness to the holiday. He grabbed the noodles and drained the water over the sink. "So I'm assuming you don't have plans then."

"I guess not. I have to ask Charlie what he wants to do; he's probably going to Sue's, though. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm working that day. Basically all day." He was carefully ripping the packets of seasoning and stirring it methodically, making sure every noodle was coated. I had to smile despite myself. "A fourteen hour shift, actually."

"That sucks," I eloquently responded. "I'm assuming that Esme is still cooking for a hundred people," I laughed. She over cooked every year like she was feeding an army. I suppose she was, though, with all the people that seemed to pop up throughout the day. Then there was Emmett who ate enough for five people. Still, there was always days' worth of left overs even after everyone brought two or three plates home.

"Of course." I could hear the smile in his voice which was probably accompanied by a heavy eye roll. "I already told her to just put a plate away for me. I won't be home until after everyone is long gone so…" he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you think the hospital is going to be busy? Like, can't you just be on call or something?"

"We already have another two doctors on call; I need to be there. I'm not anticipating it to be very busy, no. It's a good day to catch up on paperwork."

"Yeah, I guess." I plated the sandwiches and grabbed bowls for the noodles. "If we had bacon I would have added it to the grilled cheese. Something else to add to my grocery list."

He looked at me suspiciously whiling sitting down to eat. "Why would you add bacon?"

"Oh, I just thought that you still liked bacon in your grilled cheese," I muttered embarrassingly. I had to learn to shut my mouth. Keep quiet while I was ahead.

"No, I still do," he confirmed, almost in a whisper. "I guess it really shouldn't surprise me anymore how much you know me, but it does."

Thankfully, we were able to eat out lunch in comfortable conversation. Our talk mainly consisted of the babies and my eventual return to work. It was something I was not looking forward to, but knew it was something that could not be avoided. At least I had the comfort of knowing I was returning back to work with a promoted position.

I couldn't hold back my smirk when – to my surprise and amusement – Edward brought up Caius.

"So, how's…um…Caius? You haven't mentioned him lately." He was clearly uncomfortable but it was his own fault. I hadn't brought him up because there was nothing about Caius to talk about. Even if there was, I wouldn't talk to Edward about him. I would hope Edward felt the same way in regards to Kate. The less I knew the absolute better it was.

"He's good. I spoke with him a few days ago." I wasn't sure exactly what Edward wanted to hear, but I wasn't giving information out freely. If there was something specific he wanted to ask then he'd have to do just that.

He nodded slowly and I knew he was contemplating his next words. I kept quiet and allowed him to hash it out in his head first.

"Has he…uh…come over? To see the babies?"

Was that what he was getting at? Was he feeling an inappropriate possessiveness over the twins? Or was it just against Caius?

"Not that it's any of your concern," I began snidely, " but no, he hasn't seen the babies outside the hospital."

He looked down at his plate in embarrassment and I immediately felt bad. I hated myself for feeling like I had to smooth things over with him. He would always be my Achilles heel – at least one of three. No matter how much my head told me that I should hate the man in front of me for what he's said to me in the past, my heart always told me that I couldn't give up on him. I recognized that he was trying. It may not have been in leaps and bounds, but it was something and that was good enough for me.

I sighed in frustration. "I didn't mean it like that, Edward. I just…I wish you would stop beating around the bush. If there's something you want to know then just ask me. If it's about Caius," I shrugged, "there's really nothing to know. We're friends, I guess, but I haven't really talked to him much since I got home from the hospital." He opened his mouth the reply, but I put my palm up to stop him. "I know you don't care about the status of my relationship with him. I just don't want you to be concerned about the children's safety. That's why I'm telling you."

He was hesitating again. I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before taking them off completely to rub his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to be steeling himself for something.

"I um…actually… I do have to speak with you about something, Bella."

"Sounds serious," I chuckled, trying to lighten the suddenly oppressive mood.

"It is." There was no hint of any amusement in his voice. I looked down to my half eaten grilled cheese. Not only was I no longer hungry, it felt like whatever was on the way to be digested was on its way back up. "Before I say anything, I need to know that you're going to listen to what I have to say. Please don't be upset with me before you hear me out completely. Okay?"

"Uh…" My mind was blank. Whatever he needed to talk to me about could not be good. I tried to rationally come up with what it could be but it always came down to two things. One was, obviously, the babies. It was also the most likely topic. The possibility that he wanted some kind of custody agreement screamed at me. He never did sign those papers, did he? At least, not to my knowledge. There was nothing really stopping him from trying to take them away from me. He was the more stable parent out of the two of us. The only thing that worked in my favor was that he worked an insane amount of hours and couldn't commit to their care as much as he thought he could. I may not have made as much money as he did, but I was around to care of them.

The other possibility was Kate. It was less likely, but was still there. Maybe their relationship had become more serious than I was aware. Maybe they were moving in together. Maybe they already had!

I was full of maybe's and what if's and I couldn't get past any of them. But I needed to respond and show Edward that I could be mature and handle whatever it was with grace and dignity. Like his stupid girlfriend probably would. Whore!

"Um, okay," I finally answered. "What's going on?"

Before he could begin, the front door opened and slammed shut, startling the babies awake. I could have throttled Charlie in that moment.

There would be no talk today.

**AN: Thanks for continued support of this story. I know the frustration of having to wait so long between updates (there is one story that hasn't updated in 3 or 4 yrs that I'm still holding onto hope for. If anyone knows Nauticalmass, tell her I'm waiting for The Light of Day to update). And I know how easy it is to flounce because of it. I wouldn't be offended if anyone did. I wish I could promise you quicker, more frequent updates, but I can't. All I can promise is that I am NOT abandoning this story. No matter how long it is between updates. It may not seem like it, but I put a lot of time into it and before it was put on "paper" I spent a lot of time just thinking about it. It was one of those stories that just wouldn't go away. So yeah…thanks again for reading and leaving a review if that's your thing. **


	18. Chapter 18

_**Just a reminder because who the hell remembers where we left off: In the previous chapter, we had Edward watching the babies so Bella could take a nap (he was a little grumpy when he thought he was watching them so B could go on a date) At the end, Edward tried to have a serious discussion with her before Charlie made the most unwelcome appearance**_.

The nurse stationed at the reception desk was one that I had never seen before. She was young and pretty – not too different looking than Kate, actually. I looked down to hide my scowl from the innocent woman who had not done anything to me. I already felt bad that she had to be here on Thanksgiving, looking utterly bored and depressed.

"Hi. Happy Thanksgiving!" I greeted the pretty nurse. Her name tag read Maggie.

"Happy Thanksgiving," she reiterated. She tried to sound cheerful, but it still came out flat. I couldn't blame her. "How can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Dr. Cullen. Is he available?"

She pulled her eyebrows high and frowned making a wary face. She looked over her shoulder. "Are you family?" she whispered.

I looked down to the double stroller and back to the nurse. I shrugged. "Kinda, I guess. Is there a problem?"

She looked over her shoulder again. I couldn't help but look with her. What were we looking for?

"Um…not really. It's just that…" _Again_, she looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice. "He's been in a bad mood today. I'm guessing that he's upset that he had to work today. I dunno." She shrugged. "I just want to warn you."

"Oh. Well, thanks," I said slowly. "I'll take my chances, though. After what I went through to get here, I'm not leaving until I see him." I hadn't went through a lot, per se. It was just hard getting two babies ready to go out. After checking and rechecking that I had everything I needed, I had different trips to make before eventually ending up at the hospital. Pissed off or not, Edward _was_ going to see us tonight.

"He's alone, though, right?" I asked as a side thought. "Like, there's no one with him?" The absolutely last thing I needed right now was to walk into his office to see them playing doctor and sick patient.

"No, he's alone. Like I said, he's in a bad mood. Everyone's been giving him his space."

"Okay. Thanks. I'm just going to head over to his office then."

"No problem. Cute babies by the way." She offered a small wave and bright smile to the kids. I could hear their stirring. They would be up soon.

I made the short walk to his office. I could hear the abuse his keyboard was enduring. I knocked firmly, but hopefully not too aggressively. No need to poke the angry bear.

"Yeah," he grunted out from inside. Well, I guess I wouldn't be getting help with the door.

Repositioning the stroller, I turned the knob. "Hey," I greeted Edward timidly. I was used to his bad moods, but I still wanted to gauge how upset he actually was. I didn't want to make it worse by being there.

His head snapped up with a look of confusion before leveling me with a huge smile I wasn't actually sure was meant for me. _Now_, I was a little scared.

"Bella!" He stood up from behind the desk abruptly, quickly making it to my side and pulling me into a big hug while my arms remained limply at my side. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hug him back.

He smelled so good!

He unwrapped his arms from around my shoulders, but kept me at arm's length. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that maybe you could use some company on Thanksgiving. I'm sure it can't be much fun being away from family on a holiday." I didn't consider the words I said until I heard them out loud. "Not that I'm your family, or anything," I backtracked. "But I'm…familiar?" I was idiot, that's what I was.

"What? No! Come in." He ushered me inside while he grabbed the handle to the stroller. "I was just caught off guard. I didn't think you'd come by."

"I bought food. I had Ma make up a plate for you when I was over there. I don't know if you ate already, but I figured it would taste better now than later."

He looked at the foil covered plate I brought out from the stroller's undercarriage. His eyes glimmered with moisture before he sucked in a breath and let out a cough.

"That's…really thoughtful of you, Bella." He leaned forward and placed a kiss to my forehead. Now, this doctor and I had seen each other naked. I took his virginity for fuck's sake – which I still hated myself for, by the way. But this kiss was the most intimate moment the two of us shared. I wanted to bottle this unearthly feeling of bliss and keep it forever.

"Can we take the babies out?" he asked gleefully, placing the still warm food on his desk.

"Sure." I removed my coat and began unbuckling each baby from their harness. I thought they would remain in the car seat, but realized differently when Edward grabbed Tony and sat with him in his arms behind his desk. With his nose to his head, Edward took a big sniff. I smirked at the familiar move. I did it often. Nothing beat that new baby smell! I subtly sniffed Emmy.

Edward pulled the plate forward and began unwrapping his food.

"Do you want me to take him so you can eat?" I offered.

"No! He's good where he is." I pulled out the utensils and handed them to Edward. "I'd grab her, too, but I don't think I'd be able to eat with both of them.

I sat and watched him eat while he made faces at Tony between bites. It was kinda cute. Really cute actually.

"So I heard through the grapevine that you're being a dick to the staff today?" I smirked at his bewildered expression. "I'm paraphrasing. But really, I heard that you aren't in the greatest mood today. What's up?"

He frowned at his plate before placing a soft kiss to Tony's crown. If I didn't already have his babies, that little move would make me want to have his babies.

"I guess I have been a dick today. I just…really didn't want to be here today."

"But it wasn't like you didn't already know that you had to work."

"I know, but I offered to work today months ago. It didn't seem like such a big deal at the time. I regret it now. I regret a lot of things, now," he muttered.

I didn't want to upset him again. Despite what the nurse had said, Edward seemed to be in a great mood with us and I didn't want to ruin that.

"Hey, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes." I waited until they were closed before reaching into the undercarriage again. I had severely underestimated how much these things could hold.

I placed the cardboard box in front of Edward. "Open," I instructed.

With a cautious smirked, he reached over, opening the box. With wide eyes and a boisterous smile, he looked back up at me. "You didn't?" I nodded. I had made _the_ brownies that he loved so much.

"Thankful?" I joked, laughing.

"More than you could even know," he mumbled. "Now if I just had some-" I cut him off by placing a thermos next to the box. "Milk." I nodded again.

His smile faded slowly and he refused to meet my eyes.

What the hell? I thought we were having a good time.

"What's wrong?" I asked after a minute of tense silence.

"We still need to talk."

Well, shit. We were going to do this now? Here? Apparently, we were.

"Okay," I said slowly. "What's going on?"

His eyes danced around the room while his thumb scratched at his desk. His barely touched plate and boxed brownies were pushed to the side and forgotten.

"How come you never told me about Kate?" he asked.

Play dumb, my mind screamed at me.

"What about Kate?"

"I think you know, Bella. You saw her at the diner with another man. You never told me. How come?" He was finally looking at me. He didn't appear angry, but more resigned and ready to hear my explanation.

"Because," I sighed. I was going with honesty here and had no idea if he'd even believe me. "I didn't want you to hurt. You liked Kate but she was doing you dirty. I did confront her, though, and told her she needed to knock that shit off. You didn't deserve it. I kinda hoped that she would listen to me and realize how wrong she was."

"Why didn't you just come to me when you found out?"

"Because if you didn't have to know than you could be spared. You would be none the wiser, and truthfully, I didn't even think you'd believe me. We were in a horrible place at the time and I wouldn't have put it past you to say that I made it up to come between you and Kate. You wouldn't have realized that I was just looking out for you."

"But you would have at least planted that seed of doubt in my head," he countered.

I shrugged because I really didn't have any rational explanation that would make sense to him. "I just wanted to see you happy, Edward, and if she made you happy then…," I shrugged again. "I did what I thought was best. Like I said, I was looking out for you." I swallowed hard, a thought occurring to me. "Is she…cheating on you?" Was it my fault that she stepped out on him again?

He shook his head, but finally looked at me.

"That guy that you saw her with?" I nodded for him to go on. He looked so hurt. "That was her brother."

What. The. Ever living. Fuck.

"What?" I asked bewildered. Fucking flabbergasted. "Her brother?"

"Yeah. She told me about your little run in the next day."

"And you never said anything to me?" I was little annoyed now. This whole time I hated Kate for something that she didn't do. I mean, I still hated her, but maybe not so much anymore because girl code. "This whole time I thought she was playing you for a fool, but instead it was you playing me!" I accused.

"What? No!" He shook his head vehemently. "Remember what I said at your house? About hearing me out before you got angry?" he reminded me. "That still applies."

I tried taking calming breathes. Holding my daughter helped ground me and reminded me not to get too worked up.

"Is that what we had to talk about?" I asked.

"Part of it. I'm not…Kate and I aren't dating, Bella."

Well tip me over with a fucking feather. This guy was full of surprises tonight. Happy Thanksgiving to me!

I tried to appear indifferent, but was pretty sure I was failing. "Okay. You never corrected me when I made assumptions, though."

"No. I didn't. It felt safer if you were under the impression that we were. I'm sorry for deceiving you."

"I don't get it. How was that safer?"

He let out a harsh breath. "You're not going to like what I have to say, but please hear me out." I nodded my agreement. "It took me longer than I'd like to admit to finally realize that your intentions weren't…nefarious." Well if that wasn't a fifty cent word that I wasn't quite sure the meaning of. "It was like a test. I figured that I could base your actions on how you responded to situations where Kate was involved. Like, what happened at the diner. I figured that you would jump at the chance to point out how horrible a girlfriend Kate was and how much of a better partner you would be, but you never did. There were so many times where you could have easily made me out to be the asshole I know I was, but you never ran with it."

"I told you that I was never trying to make you out as anything, Edward. I just wanted you to take ownership of what happened between us."

"I know! I know, Bella." He looked down at Tony who was staring up at his father in wonder. Edward smiled down at him. "I still questioned a lot about the situation we found ourselves in. I questioned you, really, until I got to know you as _Bella_, not my little brother's best friend who I knew minimally. You looked out for _me_ when I never gave you reason to. The check I tore up, Kate's supposed infidelity, those custody papers? You didn't use any of that to your advantage like I would have thought early on." He held me with his stare. "You're a good person, Bella. One of the best I know. I hate that I ever questioned that."

"Thank you, Edward. I really appreciate that, but…" I sighed, resigned but still appreciative. I sat up straighter as I tried to articulate my thoughts into words. "The thing is, Edward, that I always knew you were a good person. Before all of this happened. Back when I was just Emmett's best friend and an honorary Cullen; when all I could hope for was a glimpse of you while I was hanging out with Em. Then after, when you were a complete d-bag. I knew that you were a good guy. I didn't need to observe your actions or talk to other people to confirm what I already knew. As glad as I am that you finally realize that I'm not a conniving gold digger, it still hurts that you needed _proof _that I wasn't out to get you."

I waved my hand to stop him from speaking because I knew what he was going to say.

"I'm not telling you because I want another apology; you've done that enough. I just want you to know how I feel. I've accepted all your apologies and I've moved on from them. I'm not holding a grudge or anything else that you might think but…it wouldn't be fair to me to let you go on thinking that even though it's all water under the bridge I came out unscathed."

He didn't know how to reply, that much I could tell by his fidgeting. He probably wanted to apologize – again – for a lack of anything else to say.

God, this was weird.

"I didn't mean to ruin your Thanksgiving."

"No, you didn't ruin it." He waved off my statement with a brush of his hand. "Just gave me a lot to think about. Part of me wants to apologize again," he laughed.

"I know," I chuckled with him. "Please don't, though. I'd rather you just eat the brownies and tell me what you think. It's been awhile since I've made them; I might be off my game."

"Never." He punctuated this by taking a bite of a square. Unabashedly, I stared at his jaw while it moved as he worked on the brownie. "Nope. Still on top of your game," he replied, smirking.

I averted my gaze after having been caught staring. "Good to know."

"You took this a lot better than I thought you were going to, if I'm being honest," he added. Could he not leave well enough alone?

"Edward," I sighed deeply. "To your credit, you didn't exactly lie. It was more a lie of omission. Moreover, though, I'm too tired to be angry. I spent a lot of my pregnancy angry, hurt, disappointed, confused. At you, my father, Emmett, my fucking mother." I shook my head at the disgrace of a mother Renee was. "Don't get me wrong," I added quickly. "What you did was pretty shitty, but we're in too good of a place for me to let something so immature ruin it. But on the other hand, I guess you needed to figure it out your way that you could, in actuality, trust me. Your method was questionable, but the end result was favorable." I switched Emmy to my other arm. "At the end of the day, I just want to know that any doubt you may have had about me is in the past. I need to focus on the babies. I can't be worrying about you questioning every move I make."

"_We_ need to focus on the babies," he corrected. I looked up sharply, almost dislocating my neck in the process.

"You haven't taken the DNA test," I reminded him. It had been weeks and the hospital was still waiting for him to give a sample.

"No," he confirmed. "I haven't." He leaned back in his chair and brought Tony to his shoulder. "I don't have any intention to, either."

I gave him a disbelieving look, unsure of how to proceed. _That_…wasn't part of the plan.

"That was actually something else I wanted to talk to you about," he continued. I guess someone had to talk because words surely weren't coming to me at the moment. "I trust you, Bella. I do. I wish I would have realized that sooner and I guess I should have told you sooner that I shredded those papers."

"What!" I almost screamed it before I realized where I was.

"Remember, hear me out," he pleaded. I nodded shortly, trying to calm myself. We were in a good place, I had to remind myself. This pissed me off a hell of a lot more than his faux relationship with Kate.

"Go on," I gritted out.

"Thank you," he sighed. "I poured over those papers; I even had my lawyer look them over. He told me I'd be an idiot not to sign them – and I did, actually. They were signed and readied to be handed over to you." He paused as he tried to figure out how to continue. "Do you remember when I came over on your birthday?"

Huh. I couldn't forget that day if I wanted to. It was the last time I spoke to Renee, the day I smashed my phone, and the day that he was unusually nice to me.

"Yeah, I remember. It wasn't one of my finest moments."

"You were upset with very good reasoning, but that's not what I'm talking about. I feel like I'm confessing something evil," he muttered, shaking his head. "I knew it was your birthday, but the real reason I stopped by was to hand you the papers back. At least, that was my intention until I saw how upset you were and I didn't want to add to it."

"How would that have upset me further? I _gave_ you those papers to sign and hand back?" I asked.

"Yes, but they would also serve as a reminder of all the negativity between us." He pushed his glasses up with his thumb. "That day, I was reminded of the young Bella of years ago. The one that use to get so upset with Emmett, but instead of running to our parents you unloaded on me because you didn't want to get him in trouble. I remember that Bella; I knew that Bella a little. Something just…clicked that day." He shrugged. "I knew that Bella and I wanted to know _this_ Bella," he said, motioning toward me. "I figured that the two couldn't be very different."

"Were you right?" I had to ask.

"I was never more right…or wrong," he answered before letting out a deep sigh. "And that's why I couldn't give you those papers. At the end of the day, Bella, we both know that you were getting the short end of the stick with that agreement and I couldn't do that to you. Even if that was the only thing I could offer you, I had to do it. You deserved better than what you were giving yourself."

"So what now then? Where do we go from here?" Short end of the stick or not, it was the only thing that made sure the children stayed with me. "Who's to say that you won't change your mind about custody down the road? I won't let you take my babies away from me, Edward."

"I don't know what's going to happen down the road and I would never make a promise that I can't keep. With that being said, I can promise you that I will _never_ take Tony and Em away from you. I know I haven't done anything to prove to you that I'm being truthful, but I'm asking you to believe me when I say that – to trust me."

"Trusting you was never an issue for me. My issue was your senseless anger," I clarified. I opened my mouth to say something else, but decided against it. It wasn't the time or place to ask what I wanted to ask. "We need to talk about some things on a different day. There's still so much that needs to be said and explained. I don't have the desire or energy to hash it all out right now."

He nodded. "I agree; we have a lot that needs to be discussed. We can save most of it for another day." I quirked an eyebrow at his choice of words. "There's just one more thing I want to bring up."

With a playful eye roll, I motioned for him to continue.

"The other day, when I was with the babies while you slept?" I nodded, but nervous as to where he could be going with this. "I had to go into your room. Emmy spit up on herself and there weren't any clean clothes downstairs." I quirked an eyebrow again. Nope. Didn't like where this was headed. "Your room was…cramped."

"I make it work," I said tersely. "Everything has its place. It's organized and clean. Besides the lack of extra space, I don't really see the problem."

"No, no, no." He looked frightened. Good! "I know. I could tell. It's just something I noticed."

"Okay," I said impatiently. "What exactly are you trying to say to me, Edward?"

"Move in with me," he blurted out with wide eyes. Well, that probably wasn't the way he wanted to ask me.

"Um…what?" Well if that wasn't a sharp turn that I wasn't expecting. Apparently, getting struck stupid was a thing.

With a deep breath, he repeated himself. "Move in with me. Please. I want you and _our_ children close to me. Everyday. I don't like seeing them just sometimes. I know that my job keeps me away and I'm not around as much as I should be. I don't help as much as I should, but if we were all under one roof that would change. And I have the space. More than enough space." I waved my hand in the air, stopping him from carrying on.

"Wait! Wait a minute." I looked at him owlishly. "This is…a bit much. It's very all of a sudden. In the same breath you're saying they're our children and asking me to move in with you. That doesn't sound…odd to you? A few months ago you despised the ground that I walked on and now it's like you want to play family."

"Well, aren't we kinda, sorta like family?" he shrugged innocently. "Not a very traditional one, I'll give you that, but a family nonetheless."

"Is that what we are?" I asked somewhat sarcastically. I mean, it sounded nice. Very nice, actually. It was something that I wanted for years already, but I wasn't as deluded as I was then. I knew that putting pretty wrapping on a gift didn't mean that it wasn't hiding something shitty inside.

"I...I mmmean…we could be," he amended, his stutter making an appearance.

If I didn't know that he was completely clueless, my heart would be all aflutter. The words were right – sort of – but I knew the meaning behind them weren't the way they sounded. I knew Edward well enough to know that he didn't mean that we would be playing house together, pretending to be a happy couple raising two babies. His idea of what our family would be was just two people coming together and sharing the same living space. While that idea didn't sound horrible, in the long run it wouldn't work out. I was still stupidly in love with him while he just got use to the idea of us being friends.

"Could we, Edward? Really?" I gave him a sardonic smile. "What happens when you finally met someone that you _want_ to share that house with?"

"I _do_ want to share that house with you," he cut in.

"I'm not saying that you don't, but you and I both know a part of you feels obligated to help." I waited for him to deny it. When I was sure that he wasn't going to respond, I continued. "But what happens when you meet a woman and decide that _she's_ the one you want to have babies with? Where would that leave me?" I prevent myself from rolling my eyes and quickly kept talking when I saw he was about to interject. "I know you would never turn your back on the kids."

"Or you," he managed to get in anyway.

I did roll my eyes that time. "Not intentionally, anyway," I added for clarification. "I don't know many things, Edward, but I know females and females are jealous." I pointed to myself. "Trust me." Personally, I don't know how I managed to _not_ scratch Kate's eyes out. Probably because I was pregnant. "No female would be comfortable, or even pretend to tolerate, you living with your children's mother – no matter how platonic the relationship is. What happens when you meet that person, Edward? I wouldn't expect you to choose her over me so, again, where would that leave me?" I asked again.

"Well, what if _you_ meet someone?" he countered and I knew he hadn't listened to a word I just said. "What if your relationship with _Caius_ progresses?" he spat out his name a bit harshly.

"What relationship with Caius? He's a friend and co-worker."

"A friend who wants to get into your mom jeans."

"What?" I laughed out because…what? He was staring at me seriously as he rubbed Tony's back. I guess he didn't find it amusing. "I don't wear 'mom' jeans, Edward."

"Isn't that what they're called once you become a mother?"

"You're kidding me, right?" I laughed harder. He was adorably clueless. His face was red in either anger or embarrassment. "I'm sorry," I sighed out after I let out my last chuckle, wiping the moisture from my eyes.

"What you wear is beside the point, Isabella," he huffed out. "What I'm trying to imply is that Caius is obviously looking for more than friendship from you. He had absolutely no regard for your future children or what type of relationship you may, or may not, have had with the father of said children. I don't think that speaks highly of his character," he finished.

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds before I let out a humorless chuckle.

"Do you hear yourself right now, Edward? Do you really think you're in any position to talk about someone's character?" I asked sarcastically. When I saw his face drop I knew I had crossed some line and I immediately felt bad. I placed Emmy down in the car seat before turning back to him.

"Edward," I called out softly to get his attention. "What I mean to say is that you should know it isn't fair to judge someone based on actions alone. You weren't the greatest person to me, but I knew that wasn't who you were. Despite every conversation that ended up horribly between us, I defended you to your brother. To anyone I needed to, really, because I knew the real you and how you were acting was _not_ that person. Even when I doubted what I knew, something told me to keep hanging on to the Edward I knew for years." A blew out a slow breath. "As for Caius, I'm aware that he feels…some kind of attraction to me. Big bellied pregnant and all. I'll also admit that if circumstances were different a relationship with him would be something I would probably peruse, but they aren't so I'm not." I gave him a second to understand what I was saying to him at that moment. "So to get back to your original question, I very highly doubt that I'll be meeting anyone that I would want to start a relationship with."

There was so much I still left unsaid and I knew better than to think that he could read between the lines.

"Me neither," he finally whispered. He shifted Tony to his other lap and began picking at the brownies again. "Will you at least think about? Moving in with me, I mean?" he asked, more subdued. "It makes sense if you think about it."

"And how is that, Edward?" I asked to amuse him and to move on from the uncomfortable subject of other relationships.

"Aside from the space issue I already mentioned, it's a smart move financially. I mean, you planned to move out eventually and with that come rent and utility bills. You wouldn't have to worry about that if you moved in with me."

"I'm not living off you, Edward," I snipped. "I'll be making more money when I go back to work. I'll be fine on my own."

"I know, Bella," he groaned, rubbing his face under his glasses. "I'm not saying you won't. What I'm saying is that you won't have to. If it'll make you feel better, though, you can help with half the bills and groceries. By the way, my house is closer to your job," he added in.

"Yeah, but I got a brand new car I love to drive," I retorted with a wink.

"I'm glad to hear that." His smile was wide and bright. "But back to trying to convince you to move in with me," he smirked. "It would save everyone a trip to see us both. Mom and dad, Emmett; they wouldn't have to divide their time between us if we were under the same roof. It would make family gatherings a lot easier." He breathed deeply and exhaled slowly. "And I just want to be there for the three of you," he began seriously. "I want to make up for all the time that I wasted. I want to show you that I can be a good father. You shouldn't have to ask for my help; it should be expected, but it's hard with our different working hours and living arrangements. I want to make both of our lives easier – that's why I bought the house in the first place."

"What?" I cut in, unsure if I heard him correctly.

He refused to look at me, but rather focused on something above my shoulder. "I bought _that_ house with you and the babies in mind. It has a nice backyard, enough bedrooms, a decent sized kitchen and living room. It was big enough to for us to live and grow comfortably."

I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable with his admission. "That puts a lot of pressure on me to say yes."

"I didn't mean it to. I'm sorry, but I'm also being honest. If you say no the house is still going to be there. Tony and Emmy's rooms will still be there. _You're_ room will still be there. All I'm asking of you is to think about it. Really consider it. I'm not expecting an answer now or even tomorrow. Take all the time you need until you're absolutely sure of your decision. That's all I ask."

I continued to stare at Edward as he looked on more vulnerable than I've seen him in a long time. He was being sincere; I never questioned that. What I did question, though, was my own damn sanity and how I would make it through if I actually made the move. My heart would no doubt end up broken if I moved in with him. Sooner or later, he _would_ meet someone he wanted to give his heart to. How he hadn't already was mind boggling. It had to be of his own doing because no woman in their right mind could refuse to see what an amazing guy Edward was…when he wasn't a complete asshole. Eventually, Edward would come home and feel comfortable enough in our friendship to gush about some pretty woman he met at work or the coffee shop or some nerdy conference about genetic coding or whatever doctors talk about. I would be stupid enough to play the fool and listen like the good friend I claimed to be. I'd only want his happiness even if it cost me my own.

"I'll think about it," I finally managed.

"Thank you," he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can we go back to celebrating Thanksgiving, please," I begged playfully.

"Sure." He began taking alternates bites of his dinner and dessert. It was pretty gross to watch.

"So what are you thankful for this year, Edward?"

"Oh, that's easy. You."

**In my head, I have estimated time of completion for this story. I won't say anything out loud because I don't want to get hopes up. There won't be many chapters left either, because the babies are already born and E and B are in a good place (I guess that's subjective though). However, I won't rush things either. IMO, that's one of the worst things an author can do (along with taking forever and a day to update :/ ) and as an avid ff reader, you can definitely tell when an ending was rushed. So yeah…that's about it. Thanks for reading.**


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